Who decided that this was a good idea: Call emergency services

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What the hell was I thinking? I need to call emergency services and get some help out here! I don’t know where I am and I don’t know what to do. This fog is too thick and there’s no way my friends could find me in this goddamn fog! I touch the screen of my phone to try to call 911, but at first the phone turned off by itself. Keep in mind that this was a brand new iphone seven that I got less than a month ago for my birthday. I was successful at getting it to turn back on, but for whatever reason, I couldn’t unlock my phone and it wouldn’t even read my fingerprint… Soon thereafter I was finally able to unlock it after 10 tries and I dialed 911. It rang… rang… rang… and rang… and rang.. and rang. I ended the call then tried again.

I was cut off and greeted by a really awkward silence before the call was dropped. This was really really bad… and every minute that passed by without help whatsoever made it worse. After the third call, I FINALLY got a hold of someone. I whispered “THANK GOD!” then explained what had been going on with the dispatcher. The dispatcher sounded like he was in his mid to late thirties. His voice reminded me of my dad’s. My dad used to be a firefighter for a little while, then an EMT for about 5 years before he became an official MD and professor at the school we all go to. The dispatcher, or Frank talked to me and assured me that someone was on the way.

While I was on the phone with Frank, a large set of long fingered hands grabbed me by the shoulder and knocked me down further into the ditch that sat on the right side of the car. I fell flat on my face and looked up at the creature. It stared down at me from the top of the ditch, which was probably about twenty feet from where I was. I couldn’t make out it’s shape, except for that it was all black, with blinding white eyes. It’s eyes were so blinding, it felt as though I was staring at the sun. Suddenly the shadow gave off an ungodly screech and dissolved into clouds of black matter that wrapped around the trees. I got up from my side which felt dust ridden and scratched from the pine needles and searched the ground for my phone. Fuck! The screen got cracked pretty badly, but I could still hear the dispatcher calling out for my name.

“Mike! Hello? Mike! Are you still there??”

I help the phone up to my ear and said, “Yeah, I’m still here! Something just knocked me down into the ditch!”

“Wait, someone was there and they knocked you down into the ditch? Are they still there with you?”

“No! It wasn’t like a person, at least I don’t think it was. It was tall, black, foggy, kind of translucent, big white eyes… I mean this thing wasn’t hu-” a loud pop and static blew up in my ears which scared me shitless. I dropped the phone out of fear only to look up at the most bizarre and horrific thing I have seen in my life. 

The smell hit me so hard that I threw up. No gagging, I just couldn’t help it. It felt like as if I was punched in the gut so hard, hard enough to make me vomit. The statue, thing, or whatever I was looking at smelled worse than death. Raw meat, sulfur, sewage, mouldy cheese, carrion, rotting flesh, sour milk… just think of all the absolute worst smells in the world and then combine them all into one thing. Bits and pieces of flesh and hair stuck to the skeletal structure that made the statue thing. Dust and cobweb ridden sashes covered up the skeletal totem from the waist down. It had very odd looking decor on it’s head, face, crown, arms, and feet. I had absolutely no idea what the throne was made of, and to be quite frank, I don’t want to know. Despite the repulsive smell the thing gave off, there were no flies nor bugs hanging around it. Suddenly, I felt something soft and squishy wrap around my right foot, then I look down to see that it was a grey and black appendage that looked just like a tentacle, no it WAS a tentacle! More of them swiftly swarmed at my feet when I jumped back with phone in hand and raced up the ditch. 

I made it to my car, went into the driver’s side seat, slammed the door, then locked all of the doors. I hyperventilated for what felt like hours, not just mere minutes. Then I took a deep breath and looked at the car more thoroughly. All of my friends’ belongings were scattered along the floor. Cell phones, keys, jackets, misc items were all over the place. I looked back forward and sat in silence. I have no idea on what to do next…

Stay in the car and wait for the authorities

or 

Take a risk and find friends through the fog

or

Start at the very beginning.


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Who decided that this was a good idea: Go to bed and leave the front door unlocked

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At this point, I didn’t know what else to do other than just go to bed and leave the front door open. Joey is an adult, he can make his own decisions. Is it possible that maybe something was wrong with him medically? I can’t say for certain. I decided that going to bed and not meddling with anything else would be good… yeah. I don’t want to make things worse! What am I saying??? I’m rambling to myself…

I went up the stairs, walked inside to our flat and gave out a loud yawn. However, as I stretched and yawned, something didn’t feel quite right… and it is unusually cold. It wasn’t your typical early to mid autumn chill… I mean it felt like a walk in freezer. I looked to my left and noticed that the two large windows that sat above our L-shaped couch were left wide often, but there was barely even a breeze coming out of them. I don’t recall leaving them open, but figured Joey might’ve done it. He’s not as anal about keeping the windows closed like how I am. When I closed the windows everything warmed up just a little bit. But still, something felt off. It was still chilly and the tension was so thick that you could cut it with a knife. The only thing I could hear is my heartbeat throbbing between my ears and my heavy breathing. I felt as though someone else was in the room with me. Suddenly a loud crashing noise snapped me out from my weird trance and created a rush of adreneline skyrocket through my veins. I hop into the small kitchen and saw our glass pitcher shattered on the white and gray linoliem tiled floor. The old chestnut cabinets were left all open as well as the drawers. The dining room that sat across from the small kitchen had scraps of paper, pens, books and napkins all over the place. 

I had enough. I didn’t care if all of this shit was paranormal or not. I was over it and was ready to go to bed. I began to clean up the shattered glass, scattered items, and closed the cabinets and drawers. At one point I heard a large boom above me as well as a short, disembodied cackle, then the chill and tense feeling in the house stopped. I left out a huge sigh of relief. I made the kitchen and dining room spotless within 10 minutes, and oddly it was quite satisfying. After cleaning everything up, I took a long and hot shower, got into my gray, black, and white pjs, and hopped into bed. I was out like a light as soon as my head hit the pillow. 

I had a very brief dream that lasted for maybe a few seconds and it scared the bejeezus out of me. I saw myself sleeping and saw a patchy gray colored humanoid like figure with jagged teeth, sunken red eyes, and no hair. It was completely naked and its whole body appeared to be drenched in sweat or something for it shined in the moonlight like a rubber glove. It’s face only inches away from mine, violently convulsing, twitching, and screaming to the top of its lungs, which caused me to lunge forward out of my deep slumber. I saw that it was 4:30 am and before I could do anything, I just told myself that it was a bad dream and went back to sleep. I woke up a few hours later at around 7:30 am. I walked into Joey’s room, seeing that the door was open and saw that his bed was empty. His room looked like it had been untouched since the day before, but what was even more bizarre was that EVERYTHING in that room was neat and tidy. Joey is far from being the kind of person to keep things spotless, he’s always been this way growing up. I was astonished! Books were put away, laundry and random nick knacks that covered the floor was picked up and put away, and the room smelled so pleasant! Damn, even I couldn’t imagine seeing his room thing clean like this! I felt the back of my neck and back tingled and my insides squirmed. I couldn’t move. Suddenly my phone went off and I saw a text message from Joey. He was okay, he was at his parents house and was going to stay there for a few days. He apologized profusely about what happened last night. I texted him back, telling him no worries and was happy to hear that he was ok. 

After I texted Joey, I walked into the bathroom and saw a sight that I will never forget. It was Joey hanging from the hook on our bathroom door. I screamed and fell straight on my ass. He was covered in what appeared to be black ash and fresh blood. Half of his face and skull was missing and had a massive hole in his body… he was gutted out. His clothes had rips and patches of bile, foul odered liquids, and blood. His arms and legs dangled losely everytime his body swayed side to side. A large pool of blood gathered onto the once spotless blue tile. I could not believe what I was seeing. 

“This can’t be happening!!! Joey!!” I squeaked as my eyes welled with tears. “How could this be? I JUST texted you!” I slowly stood up as I began to sob uncontrollably. I didn’t know what to do, and I still don’t. I turned back for a second when I got back up from the floor, and turned back around to the bathroom floor to find that Joey was gone. However, the puddle of blood and a few bits of bone and flesh remained on the floor and door. “What in the actual fuck is going on???? I am losing my fucking mind!”. Good god what is happening to me???

Investigate the bathroom further for clues

or

Call the police

or 

Do nothing

or

Start from the beginning…


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I do, don’t you?

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‘Tis my life’s calling, you know… the darkness fills my soul with enlightenment.

The night is my sanctuary, my happy place, my dwelling, the origin of who I really am.

Don’t insult me with petty excuses on why the darkness should be feared.

It should be loved and embraced by any light spot that blinds you willingly. 

How can you see with those lights in your eyes? Can you see your inner truth now?

Learn to adjust to your eyes to the blackness… allow yourself to succumb to it’s beauty.

Allow it to grip your insides like worms consuming an apple. 

Allow them to eat your hideous mask from the inside out. 

Embrace the decay for it shall lead you to rebirth.

Death is the new birth.

Welcome.


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The Bloodletting

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 What brought on the rolling sea of the dead?

What makes this water so red?

Will sanity take place instead?

Well, these are all very good questions but here’s the answer:

Hell fucking no.

Without the bloodletting, there’d be nothing to show.

People by the thousands would never even know.

It wouldn’t be right to let the violence be unnoticed.

Don’t you agree with this? I certainly do!

You can’t rake bloodmuck under the carpet that sticks to the broom like freshly sliced entrails.

The bloodmuck will continue to overflow and flood civilians.

The bloodmuck is your own filth.

You created the bloodmuck during the sacred bloodletting.

Time to clean it up… good luck.

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Weekly Funnies- More ‘Corny’ Jokes

There’s nothing funnier than ‘corny’ jokes, am I right??? Well… regardless, it’s time to once again, dive into the weekly funnies fucketry we have here today!

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I hope you were able to get a deep belly laugh from all of these silly jokes! Have a good day everyone!


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Weekly Funnies- ‘Corny’ jokes

 

There’s nothing better than ‘corny’ jokes and humor from time to time, am I right?

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Are you feeling hungry yet? I sure am! Very punny.

Have a good night everyone!


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Suddenly

She makes a sound

Silence shattered freely

Shuttered…

Stuttered…

Seething…

Tonight

Is the only night where she can be…

Initiated…

Potentially the best and worst

Potentially

Plumped with nothing but…

Poisoned rotting cotton.

Beware of  ‘it’…

Beware of the shrouded ones…

Bewitched are they…

Bleating our prayers won’t make it okay.

Believe it now?

Believe…

Dying is easier than living

Definitely easier to deal with!

Death is a sweet cold slumber that you will love…

Don’t forget that your suffering will not end.

Death’s angels always laugh in delight with the devils…

She will speak for the chosen ones.

She will sing to the gifted ones.

She will cry tears of joy for the blessed ones.

She will wail in sorrow for the forlorn ones.

She has infinite power.

It’s only the beginning

Her power reigns over the universe

Her being is overwhelming

Her love fills all the hearts of the dead

Forget all that keeps you alive

For your salvation is here for you

Your death is the greatest sacrifice.

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