Meditation Experience- 7/20/18

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The moment I closed my eyes was the same moment that my life had changed. I was underwater and was swimming downwards. The bottom of the ocean was not of this earth. It was dark, dismal, and looked like it was a gnarled underground result from some sort of nuclear disaster. Rocks and shards of brown, gray, and rusted objects surrounded me. The tension around me built and I could hear nasty grumbles and growling. I got even deeper and was able to finally see an object that I needed to get. It was a massive light orb that had some illegible writing on it. I could hear “NO! NO! NO! You will not have that! Come back here!” and saw malevolent beings made of the sludge and slime that was on the bottom of the water. I swam upwards from the water and took off. I felt a layer from my wings (I had wings in this experience) being pulled off, revealing a dark golden-silver color. As I began to fly higher and higher, weight started to fall off and I started to feel light, but strong. Almost weightless, but maintaining a form of solid light. 

I opened by eyes and felt a significant change in my aura, third, and crown chakras. It was what I can only describe as growing pains. The second time I closed my eyes, I saw myself performing the same action and saw that there were several orbs on the ocean’s floor. All of them had illegible writing on them. Then I saw myself going into a different area which was a cave straight into a colossal cave with lava and moving rocks. I pulled more light orbs and flew through a narrow exit in the cave. All of my chakras lit up and more weight was pulled from my being. It was painful and intense, but after I came out of there, I felt different. Then I went into another cave that was very earthy like, went in, grabbed an orb, and flew back outwards towards the sky.

The third time I closed my eyes I could see myself and my aura in the shape of a massive bubble. The outside of the bubble was reflective with a thin layer of rainbow light and the rest of my aura was indigo. Next, I jumped through a bunch of dark clouds and stood in front of a few of my spirit guides. A massive amount of weight was taken off my whole being. My guides smiled and me and said,”Welcome back”. I smiled and inspected my whole being and felt the anger, sadness, confusion, and negativity from my body was pulled off of me like a veil of darkness was taken off of me. In the background of the clouds I was standing upon, I saw everyone in the Breathing Zone chat standing in a row. They were all beings of reflective light and they all looked like crystals. The light they were made of interlocked with one another into a sideways geometric shape. Suddenly they shot up towards the sky, blew up, and fell back into the cosmos and formed the stars.

I’m excited to see what next week is going to bring. =)

Cool Text - Alex Snow 277033360710315

Nameless Dreamer- The Development of Wings

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             As the girl ran after the indigo orb, a sharp pain jabbed her shoulders and back, causing her to fall to her knees. Ow! What the hell? She jumped back up to find that there was nothing behind her. She felt her shoulders for any kind of bleeding or open gashes. What the? I know this is a dream, but that really really hurt. Thankfully I’m not bleeding or anything like that. “Follow me dear indigo girl! There is no time to waste!” The orb yelled at her from a distance. 

“What did you just call me? I’m a what?” The orb was inches away from her face once again. 

        “I say you are an indigo girl.” The orb gently tapped her nose and let out a soft giggle. This gave the girl a warm tingly sensation that went from her feet up through the crown of her head. She had never felt anything like this before, but she certainly wanted to feel it again. 

“I still don’t know what that means spirit orb light thingy.”

                 “You will soon enough. Follow me!” The orb darted off once again into the distance. Suddenly a small dot appeared within the girl’s sight. The farther she ran, the bigger the dot appeared. As she got closer to the dot, the dot began to grow into the form of an old wooden door. It’s hinges, knobs, and locks were made of pure gold and the wood smelled of freshly cut oak, despite its age. The orb stopped in the girl’s tracks as soon as she was a few yards away from it. “Take this!” A large golden key came from the orb and dropped onto the ground in front of the girl’s feet. She kneeled down to grab the key, then suddenly that sharp jabbing pain came back. The pain was nearly unbearable. She couldn’t get up from the surface of the water and curled into a fetal position. The pain shot through her whole body this time. “You must get up!” 

“I-I can’t! It hur-rts too much!” She began to cry as the pain permated through her body.

       “Oh I almost forgot. Here, let me give you something to help you with those growing pains.” The orb tapped on the girl’s back and suddenly the pain gone. “Shhhh don’t you cry dear one. This should help.”

    “Thank you. I really needed that.” The girl got up with the key and used one of her hands to feel the back of her shoulders. There were two distinct lumps stood a few inches out of her shoulders. What the hell is this??? 

“Those growing pains will come and go dear girl. As time goes on it will be easier to handle them. They will stop eventually. That I can assure you.”

“Why am I having these in the first place?”

“You will find out more as soon as you open this door.” The orb started to float towards the door knob. “A whole new world awaits you behind this door.”

This is one crazy dream. She thought to herself. 

“Who said that this was a dream?”

The girl began to walk towards the door of gold and ancient oak. She gently put the key in the keyhole. The key began to glow as it entered the keyhole. And with that, her journey beyond the cosmos began.

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Part 1  |  Next Part

Cool Text - Alex Snow 277033360710315

Letter to Dearest

Here’s to the one who gave me my wings;

I hope you’re fucking happy.

I hope you’re fucking smiling with glee.

I can still feel your thoughts drilling through the tender fabric stitches that keeps my head attached to my spine.

I have blatantly forgotten what pure joy means.

You created me with insight, intuition, empathy, and love.

All of these things I sought out for the answers.

I hoped I could help others.

I hoped I could make a difference.

I hoped I could keep others safe and sound.

I hoped I could assure others that everything would be ok.

Success from this plan has always fallen sort.

You were supposed to guide me on my life’s path.

You were supposed to be there.

You were supposed to help open my eyes to the divine truth.

People run from me in pure horror without a second glance.

Countless times my insight and intuition created conflict and turmoi;.

The more I knew and wished to share, the more people cowered in my presence.

I can feel their petrifying fear relentlessly slashing and scraping out every bit of my soul.

Never taken seriously… my messages fell on deaf ears.

Treated like a malevolent being covered in black tar and puss.

All of the things I have seen have made my eyes burn from the inside out.

Not even gouging my eyes out would make it all go away.

The sensations I get haunt me.

A flood of vividly colored ghosts that never go away once expressed and cleared.

Good or bad ghosts feel the same to me now.

I am so jaded, beyond the deepest, darkest, blackest shade.

I’ve reached out to others out of pure, divine, and infinite love.

I reach out with the burning passion that ignites every fiber of my being.

I reveal what lays underneath my wings.

I reveal the gifts you gave me.

I reveal the gates of truth that have been presented to me to show unto others.

Gentle or harsh pictures within solid frames flip through my mind like a 3D book.

It’s almost as if I’m there within the pictures that I see.

Not a movie goer within the seats, but an actor within the film itself.

I burst and fall down in flames the longer these sensations stay within my being.

The ones who receive the visions give me things that I did not expect to see.

They give me fear as I project love.

They give me grief as I reflect the light which sadly seems to blind them.

They give me avoidance as I reach out of love.

They give me reluctant looks as I reveal my truest revelations.

They reject my entire being when it’s just too much to bare.

Some have called me evil.

Some have deliberately struck back at me like as if I was a merciless predator.

Some have called my way of life as sinful and forbidden to the great scriptures.

Almost all run away from me.

Almost all who don’t run detach themselves from me.

Almost all pretend I that don’t exist.

Almost all believe that what I perceive is mere fantasy.

Almost all who wish to dive in further only cut me loose and run.

Seldom wish to stay around.

Seldom wish to dive any further for the truth.

Seldom continue to love me the way they did before.

I fear the ones I’ve reached out to the most.

I fear they refuse to see the truth within.

No one will understand the pain as they throb like fresh whip lashings.

Shamed like an old soggy dog only to be kicked in the gut then falls to the ground.

The ones with the deepest connections with me are lying.

The ones with the deepest connections cower in fear.

The ones that matter the most is the most dangerous one of all.

One as Intuitive as I yet seemingly so hard for me read.

One whose energy rotates with a simple flip of a die.

That die rotates to one flat surface to the same one in the end of a flip.

A curious one who wants to know more, growing to understand.

One that sees me as an enigma, always thirsty for more.

One of the many who I’ve opened up my wings to.

One who has seen the light, but finds to only be somewhat adjusting.

I can feel these thoughts shredding me apart.

Like once too many times before it seems that I opened my wingspan too far this time.

Now I fear maybe since perhaps I made a fatal mistake this time.

I can feel these thoughts shredding me apart.

I can feel my fear drilling their fangs into my heart.

Their tiny little incisions drain me dry of life.

I run for cover, for protection, for safety. 

You told me that this was right way to go.

You told me to tell them all the truth.

You told me that everything is going to be alright.

Despite expressing imbalances, there is the one who always asks for more.

I cannot undo this damned curse that’s ripping me apart.

I know in the end I will find myself alone again.

I ran to protect my light.

The same light that killed them all.

The one who I thought I scared the most only wants to see more of the truth within me.

But how can that be?

Regardless, many have hated me, forgotten me, abused me, rejected me.

All because of the intuition and insight you gave to me.

I had enough of my ‘gifts’.

I hated how my gifts made them all run.

It’s a progressing and regressing infinite loop between hatred and love.

Now look at the monster you have created.

Now look at me.

I have ruined everything that I have ever touched.

I no longer just love you, I hate you too.

I am not the one you need.

I hate you. I love you.

I can feel the visions and the thoughts ripping me apart.

Ripping me apart.

This is the light?

This is the truth?

I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you.

This light is my curse and my blessing.

I hate you. I love you. I love you. I hate you.

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