The Grove pt. ……

darkness

June 16th 2016- ….

I hear and see the same things every day. Dark gray sky. Gray lake next to a large gray window. Everything is black, white, and gray. I have become permanently colorblind. 

I’m all alone here. I hate this place. I want to go home.

I miss my husband. I miss my family. They tell me that I don’t have a family. The white coats tell me that my family died a long time ago. The white coats tell me that I never had a husband. They tell me that I never went to college, never graduated from high school, never left home. 

They do terrible things to me. They told me that I killed my family. They tell me that I’m evil. They tell me I have killed more than 10 people. They keep me seated at all times, sometimes strapped down. They give me tasteless food…. I fall asleep every time I eat. I’m given three shots a day, loads of pills everyday… I’ve lost track of how many. Sometimes they hit me or force me to sit down in a corner on the floor if I don’t do exactly what they say. Sometimes they strap me down for hours and have me watch weird videos or listen to weird things… screaming and the sound of nails on metal…

scrape. scrape. scrape. shriek…. more scraping… shreik… T-they aren’t human.

They scare me. Their eyes glow unnaturally. They are pale and have long, black stringy hair. They all look the same to me. They aren’t human. They aren’t huummmmm-…..

I’m going to die here alone. I can’t tt-akke it. I…. ne.. ed to fin… a. way… out- (the rest is intelligible scribbles)

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Dream Journal: Suicide or Escape

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This is the third time that I have had this dream now, and this time I can fully recall all of the details of this dream. Within the span of about 3-4 months I have had this same exact dream, with the exception of certain aspects of the dream emphasized per dream occurrence. Everything about this dream felt so trippy and unreal, and yet at the same time crystal clear. I must have been in some sort of trance in the dream, if that’s even possible.

Here are a couple interesting things about this dream: Three places were heavily focused on in the dream (which I will describe shortly), but why 3 specific places? Also, a few of the same people from work have showed up in this dream just like how they have before. For example, Ty has shown up in not just one dream, but in several dreams such as the Pyramid Dream and Vulnerabilities and Tattoos Dream.

On with the dream! I found myself in my hometown, specifically at my parents house. Ty and another coworker was patrolling the neighborhood which, oddly he did so for my safety. It was late and the only thing that illuminated the streets were the orange glow of street lamps and a couple lights that were on in front of my parent’s house. It also was made apparent that there was a random Target down the street. LITERALLY in the middle of the street too. Ty came by on my street specifically and my parents and I waved hello. He stopped by to see if everything was okay and if we needed anything. My mom harshly stopped Ty in his tracks to complain about the poor treatment of raccoons and other animals that lived our neighborhood. Ty pulled me aside and in almost a whisper, asked me what that was about. I had absolutely no idea! My mom then chimed in and said a very snarky, nasty comment about work that I could not hear, but made apparent to Ty that I did something I wasn’t supposed to, which I wasn’t sure what I did, in fact. The lights of the house and the street lamps began to move and change color. I overheard another co-worker coming and then something about my job possibly being on the line.

My head was a major mess. I kept thinking about work, home, school, family life, and past trauma and problems that suddenly were brought forward by this statement. I wanted to run, I wanted to hide, I wanted to be out of the spotlight, alone. I felt the eyes of my parents on me and a few others as other people could be heard in the distance. I bodly said to Ty that I wished to die, I wished for suicide. I began to cry and I ran off where others could not see me. I could magically manifest wings that could help me fly into the trees or bushes to hide as well as to fly off to places where I could be seen. I could hear Ty and others scrambling around as I would take off from hiding spot to hiding spot in the middle of the night. I cried what felt like for an eternity fleeing down the road past my old high school and making a left upon this path which was partially covered by a rainforest. I went through the tunnel of trees that led to the most beautiful place I have ever seen. A massive waterfall took half of my view from the left side and the right side had a row of Tikis, statues, and precious stones. a path weaved between the trees and past the row of hills. I felt magic all around me, orbs and magical beings surrounded me. Some of them wore tribal paint and wooden masks while others just like everyday people like you or me. The wildlife resembled dragon-like beings, maybe even faeries, I couldn’t keep track of them all. I just knew that they knew me and I knew them. I was given the task to straighten around some of the tikis and precious stones not just on the hills, but on the platforms that sat in front of the waterfall which I had to use some sort of telekinetic abilities to move things around. When everything was perfectly aligned, with one thump on one of the many objects let off an echo of a thousand notes. I myself and all of the beings sung and it was so beautiful. I began to ascend the mountain tops in front of me when my dad appeared.

Everything around me hid and I had to go back from where I came. I was in front of the highschool and my dad directed part of the path to be covered in cement. I felt angered by this, but realized I knew how to get in there regardless of the cement. I was gifted, I thought. Suddenly, a weird being came by and caught my dad off guard, forcing him to leave me and tend to something else. I look up the hill that sits right at the high school and envision a massive pileup created by a number of clueless high school students. It happened right in front of my eyes before I could stop it. Bodies landed on top of one another and got stuck between car parts. There was screams as blood and gore was shed, but that soon disappeared into dust which then manifested itself into the form of ghosts that began to enter an odd shaped building within the gym. A haunted building for that matter, I just knew it was. Not just haunted, but there was malevolent energy in that dammed square shaped building. I knew that I had to go back and take care of something around my parent’s neighborhood.

I appeared back into the neighborhood and saw that people scrambled around in the streets looking for me. Ty yelled out for me and apologized for what he had said and that my job was safe. Another coworker confirmed that as well, and they both said they needed to know that I was going to be okay. Ty wanted me to come back with him so he could keep me safe. They begged and pleaded for me to come back over and over again. I didn’t care and thought to myself that this was something I needed to do. I soon headed north from my old neighborhood and went deep into a wooded bridge covered in snow. I could her Ty and my coworkers yelling “Wait!” and “Alex! Come back!”. I knew that they would eventually find my path and follow me. I felt comfortable knowing what I was doing despite the cold. In a vision I could see a line of zombies walking down a path going the opposite direction of the highschool. The got up from the ground and went towards a dysmal place where as I got closer to the light.

So… uh… strange dream, right?

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The Grove: The Doctor and The Attourney pt 2

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May 25th 2015- I don’t even know what’s going on….

Yes! That is now my header for today’s great clusterfuck of events! One thing lead to another which lead to another and now… and now Joshua is being held in protective custody. No one will tell me anything, not even Steve. I kept pushing the question on Steve and all he could tell me is I don’t know… One minute my brother was in his room, as fine as he can be in this shitty situation. Then the next he is being taken out on the gurney through a pair of double doors which automatically lock whenever someone has walked through them. There are cops and people in white coats everywhere… they took Steve into the double doors too. He struggled. I couldn’t help him. I got up and fell flat on my face. Flat on my face. My ears are ringing and everything is fuzzy.

This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening………

I need help. I think they gave me something…. The monster of blackness is near…. it took my parents and now it’s going to take me. I feel its hollowed eyes on me. I can see its wide toothy grin with serrated yellow and brown teeth. I can feel its breath on my face. I can feel it looming over my shoulders… this heaviness… I don’t know how much time I have left. I write this as a way to find calm but god dammit it’s not working. The cops and people in white coats are starting to close in around me with syringes and handcuffs… arms drawn. They should just kill me too…. I want to die. Free me from the monster of blackness… save me. save me. svea em. sven ma. me svea. save. me. 

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5 Tripoid Creepykus

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My skin feels so weird.

It crawls and scuttles around.

I don’t think I’m real.


I can’t sleep at night.

The shadow haunts my bedroom.

It’s here with me now.


Never do drugs please.

Those trips and highs are not worth it.

Now I hear voices…


Stay inside at night.

The Nymphs crawl the hills at night.

I can see you friend.


I am made of limbs.

Cows, pigs, goats, horses and friends.

I’m the witch’s doll.


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Dream Journal: Vulnerabilities and Tattoos

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I had quite an interesting dream last night. Majority of the details in this dream were all directed to some aspect of my day to day life in my state of consciousness. Now, when deep down in the waters of my subconscious seems to reflect those same day to day aspects, but at such a deeper level.

The beginning of my dream is a tad bit fuzzy. The colors seemed off, but what I could make out was seeing a few of my co-workers in fuzzy black, white, and ROYGBIV spectrum fuzz. I could recall getting hurt at work and then one of my co-workers (we’ll call him Ty) managed to get me out of there and brought me to his house. I could not quite remember how I got hurt, but I remember so many people and things flying past me, it was so disorienting.

Anyway, I was brought to Ty’s house which was a beach style home not too far from the ocean and creek which was very similar to the one in my hometown. A few other co-workers made sure I got to some place safe, whatever the reason was I’m not entirely sure what I was being protected from. I remember being carried over into the guest bedroom of Ty’s home. His whole home had gentle white walls, different shades of blue and green furniture and tapestry, and light cherry oak colored cabinets and random thatch here and there. The light midday sunlight soaked through the windows and walls of this west coast abode. I was helped onto the bed and I saw that almost all of my clothing had been slashed in different places. In areas I thought I was bleeding or cut, there were vividly colorful tattoos there instead. There were really only a few areas on my body that were scratched or cut. I felt so unnerved and scared to have Ty try to examine me for cuts and bruises. I felt so vulnerable despite the fact that Ty and his partner were really kind to me while I was there. Ty was very nurturing, making sure I was alright and that I’d heal up quickly. I was allowed to stay for the night because of how bad my injuries were. I really couldn’t get up and moved and had a few casts on my limbs.

While I was there, Ty, his partner, and a few other friends came in to see how I was doing and just to hang out. Again I felt so unnerved and tense, but I did my best just to calm down and relax. I even felt my inner guidance ease me to fall asleep within my dream. Eventually I popped up fully awake in the dream freaking out about where I was, what time it was, and if I had to work. I undid a lot of whatever bandages were on me, from what I could tell was that some of them were taken off while I was asleep. Ty runs in to see what I was up to and I told him I had to go to work. He insisted that I stay put, relax, and not worry about it. I still managed to get up and move around with the best of my abilities. I was partially irritated because for some reason my wings (like I have wings, haha) were gone. Ty begged for me to stay put and to let him take care of everything. I had absolutely no freaking clue on why he was so frantic and almost in tears. When I mentioned the wings, he immediately took some cardboard scraps and started to form them into wings. I told him to stop and ran out of the room to the front yard.

As I was outside, I was urged to go back inside the house to relax and rest. Ty’s partner and a few other co-workers were outside in front of the garage and were wondering what I was doing. I kept bringing up that I couldn’t just not show up to work fearing I could get fire, no longer have an income, lose my home, etc. I was constantly being reassured that everything would be fine and that I could stay for as long as I wanted or needed to. I insisted against it and somehow angelic wings formed from my back, ripping more of my clothing, and I headed towards a dirt trail through the grass. Somehow I figured out very quickly that I was going to wrong way to work. I tried to call in to let the folks at work know that I was going to be a little late, despite the fact that I was already 22+ minutes late. Trying to get a hold of somebody was like pulling teeth, it was so frustrating. Nothing that anybody said made sense. Ty and the others were still urging me to go inside, but I still ran off insisting that I was ok, even though I felt pain in my body as I flew and ran. Other parts of the dream seemed to be phasing in and out of going to my old elementary school and finding people from work urging me to go back home, then I wake up from all of this dream craziness.

Lesson number one, watch what you eat- it could lead to weird dreams. Lesson number two, as weird as dreams can be, some of the motifs can unravel what is really going on in life. Lesson number three, learn to chillax when needed.

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Dream Journal: Short ‘Dream Bursts’

            The best way I can describe these dreams are ‘dream bursts’. I’ve been having the same repetitive dream over and over again, until up to two nights ago where they stopped. I’ve noticed I’ve had this pattern lately where I go from having very vivid, bright, colorful, and ‘happy’ dreams to very kind of dark, creepy, weird, opaque, mysterious, and sometimes totally fucked up dreams. Now, I’m not really too sure why this has been happening. I’ve kind of chalked it up to the amount of work and school stress in my current waking life, my diet (its been somewhat healthy on and off during this time, especially when I’m really stressed and overwhelmed), and also probably the things I’ve been interacting with on and offline, maybe possibly too many creepypastas and horror stuff, but I don’t know (and maybe per chance just sheer excitement for the holidays coming up including Halloween). I highly doubt that there is anything ‘paranormal’, ‘prophetic’, or that there’s any kind of ‘omen’ attached to them. But if anything acts repetitive in my daily life or dream state, then it will gain my attention. Disclaimer: I’m going to make it VERY clear that before I get into this, I have never ever had any dreams about Creepypastas until now. I also REALLY DON’T believe that there’s anything paranormal nor does it have any specific meaning to it. Please don’t take it that way. This is NOT a Creepypasta nor anything of the like. I think this is just a creepy coincidence that just happened because it happened. I’m not sure if the motifs in this dream have any correlation to what’s going on in my waking life only because I have not analyzed it yet.

Anyway, this particular dream starts off with the same scene then as every night passes with the same dream, something is added on or slightly changes. I really don’t know why that is. This dream that I had always starts at the inside of an old yellow school bus filled with kids ranging between late elementary to Jr. high aged kids. my vision is tilted upwards to the right and it feels as though I’m sitting kind of towards the back of the bus, but also like as if I’m leaning out or laying down. 

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The kids on this bus feel relatively normal to me. Nothing out of the ordinary as they interact with their peers, playing with small gaming consoles, throwing paper around, or giving the bus driver a hard time. The bus driver with every dream is either a man or woman with a big build, dark hair, and an over tired persona. I can’t really tell if I’m a present character in this dream because no one seems to pay any attention that I’m there.

At some point in time someone or something causes the kids to stop what they are doing only just to sit still in their seats and look forward. I believe it was the bus driver who snapped at them to stop. As the bus continues to drive forward, with every time I have this dream, its like as if the road the bus is on changes. Sometimes the road is dark and foggy like the morning mist that comes off the coast. Other dreams look like an ordinary day down the road with frequent stops where kids are let off to go home. And there have been the few where it looks like the road warps and fluxes through odd portals of time and space. The colors are so weird and disgustingly bleeding through. The one dream that was like that had flashes of light which startled me and everyone aboard the bus. Whenever the flashes appeared, the colors oozed and twisted in a really unappetizing way. The kids started to panic and look around not knowing what to do. The bus driver tried their best to keep them calm telling them to hold on. This is where it starts to get really weird.

 

At one point or another there are so many flashes within the dream where its just so hard to keep up with an know what is going on. It kind of looked like the little child from Trick R Treat is on the bus, or around it. At one point though, the bus stops on this wide peer in a harbor and the children get off. The scene kind of looked like something from The Misadventures of Flapjack because I could see some of the characters hanging around in the distance trying to interact with the kids. The dreary background from the show hangs in the distance with a discolored sky, white washed peer, and murky waters. There were also a lot of people standing on the peer, again looking like characters from the show. But it looked like they were either praying, chanting, or just plain standing there. A few of them again, tried to interact with the kids. The older kids came forward and started to question who these folks were and where they were coming from. Their speech became garbled and no one could understand what they were saying… but then some very different characters started to appear. It kind of reminded me of the Creepypasta: Candle Cove. The reason I say this was because I saw a skeleton with a cheesy top hat and monocle, a very scared and insecure looking pirate, and a whale-boat thing. My vision was steered to the right as I could see a collection of dark rocks and waves lapping the side of them. A massive flash of light came from the sky and it looked like a ship appeared out of no where from the water. The colors of the sky, water, and peer started to grow dark with dark mossy green and white to rusted red and copper. The people around the kids and the bus started to decay as their skin was peeling off and eyes bulged outward from their heads. It was like as though there was this invisible force that was yanking the life out of them. They rose their hands into the air and praised an invisible force. I started to freak out and got the hell out of there. I woke up just feeling so confused. 

Here’s the thing about this dream: I had it about 3-4 times until it transitioned into something else. I’ve had other bursts in between those 3-4 times I think, but I honestly really don’t remember. I really don’t know how to take this dream at all. Like I stated before, I don’t really know or think it has any particular meaning to it because of what I already stated above. Even if it did have some hidden meaning, I wouldn’t even know what I could do or think of it. Anyway, its happened, its here in this post. It was trippy. It was weird. But, trippy and weird are pretty much a few aspects of me in a nutshell. =)

-Alex

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