Zen.4

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Don’t fret about today.

Things happen the way they are meant to.

Tomorrow you will be reborn. 

A chance for a new and fresh start.

Don’t stress about the past.

It no longer exists.

It can’t hurt you.

Don’t worry about the future.

You can’t control everything that has yet to happen.

The present is right where you need to be.

It’s not only a moment in time, it’s also a feeling and state of being.

It’s feeling and being at one with your heart and soul.

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The Spirit in Blue- Transition and Transformation

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A colossal wave of cosmic light engulfed my whole being. The world that I barely even knew transformed into something that not even my wildest of dreams could manifest.

I don’t know begin to describe how I felt as the light swallowed me whole… thousands of words kept popping up in my mind, and neither one remotely matched this sensation.

Where in the world was this fiery ball of blue taking me? The wave of light dissolved the ground, trees, and sky into dust. The dust swirled around me and within an instant, a new plane of existence was formed. Everything shined of white, silver, and indigo. Chunks of levitating, moons, and smaller planets rotated around one another.

“Hey, spirit orb thingy! Where are we goi-” I pause for a moment as something small caught my eye. “Spirit in blue, where are you taking me?” The small object that appeared in front of me grew in size as we got closer. It was a… tree! A very large one at that. 

The gentle whisper that I heard earlier spoke softly into my ear once again. “The Tree of Transition and Transformation.” 

“The Tree of Transition and Transformation?” I asked intently, but got no answer in return. “Hello?” Still no response.

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The spirit in blue plopped me right between the sporadic roots of this colossal tree. I was in absolute awe when I gazed upon its beauty. It stood several stories high and was bigger than any structure known to man. It’s indigo colored bark fascinated me, I had to get closer up just to see if it was even remotely real. Indeed it was. It felt like the softest fabric I have ever put my hands on. Suddenly, several white and gold colored orbs appeared around me from nowhere. I looked towards the inside of the branches and dozens of multi colored orbs danced around the leaves and twisted vines. I never thought that anything like this could ever exist! Nothing short of a dream or a fairytale; except this isn’t a dream nor a fairytale.

I took a few steps back and sat upon one of the massive roots that were imbedded in the violet colored grass. The spirit in blue swirled around me and hovered a few inches from my right shoulder. I sighed deeply and looked at the spirit in blue who hovered by my side. 

“Is this the answer to my prayers spirit in blue? I feel like the whole world is against me, and I don’t know what to do.” I looked down for a moment, feeling a knot form in my stomach. “Can you understand me.” 

“Yes” said the gentle whisper. I felt a warm presence surround me; it felt like a person who had their arm around my shoulder… but it didn’t entirely feel human. Was it a ghost? An Angel? God? What was it? Nothing? What I DID know was that I could trust this being who was with me.

“I feel so lost man. I don’t know what to do anymore…” The knot in my stomach clenched and my whole body started to shake. I felt a hot coal form in my throat, it burned so much. Warm tears began to ran down my cheeks and I felt myself losing all control. 

The warm presence hugged my shoulders tighter as my emotions broke through the barriers I had held up for so long. In a way, I felt a sense of relief come upon me as I released these emotions. I knew that I was here for a reason, I knew I have purpose in this world. But, what in the world does all of this mean? What is the spirit in blue trying to tell me? Does this blue orb have all the answers to my prayers, better yet my problems?


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Totem Stories- Zen Ladybug

4bfe198a69b4f814918734110a296caa          Something extraordinary happened the other day that still leaves me feeling puzzled and thoughtful. I was coming home from school/running errands and I was getting ready to bring groceries inside my house. It is a little bit of a challenge for I have been on crutches for the past two weeks due to an injury. I was coming up the cement steps up to the apartment building and saw a little ladybug that was literally standing in front of me. I said, “I won’t step on you Ladybug sai.” I struggled doing this because of my crutches and the howling wind, yet I still protected the Ladybug. The lady bug had remained on the cement block of the second step as I waddled back and forth from my car to my house. The wind got stronger and began to howl. It became harder and harder for me to maintain balance, but I still succeeded. On one of my very last trips, I looked at the Ladybug again and thought: “How could something so small be unaffected by massive forces surrounding it that is far beyond it’s control?” The Ladybug sat so peacefully on the edge of the step, despite the heavy winds and whirling leaves. I am still puzzle on this thought ever since, and I’m going to continue to dig deeper to find out what this really means to me. 


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(all credit goes to the original owner(s) of featured media)

What if I told you Everything?

What if I told you everything?

Everything there is to know?

Life, Death, Birth, Loss.

What if I told you all of my eternal secrets?

What if I told you the meaning of life within one hour?

What if I told you everything there is to know about me?

What if I told you what your purpose is here on earth?

What if I told you why a thing such as intent exists?

Good, Evil, Bad, Kind.

What if I told you that everything just is?

What if I told you what would happen in the future?

Or maybe what happened in the past before your presence?

What if I told you all of this?

Well, that would defeat the purpose of my job here.

All I can say is let it be, let it be.

-Alex

The Door to the Unknown

Open the door to the unknown dear friend.

The past is over, don’t allow yourself to pretend.

You don’t need emotional baggage in your life.

Its like having a vile creature that sinks its needle-like teeth into your ankles.

Their weight of the beast is the shackles, the penetration of the teeth is pain, and allowing it to do so only slows you down even more.

I know change is scary and that it feels like you don’t have any control.

What also makes it worse is that you’ve grown attached to the thing wrapped around your ankles.

Its just been there for so long as it wastes away draining your every fiber slowly.

You can’t go back to change the past. 

Time machines do not exist to us for a reason.

They are of fiction which is also the fear that holds you back.

Can’t you see the radiating light coming from the door in front of you?

Can’t you feel the gentle warmth on your skin?

What about the sweet smell of success and victory that is within your grasp?

This door can mean anything or everything to you.

Just one simple step and your in.

The light burns away the sludge that sits at your feet.

With the weight burned away you’ll feel as light as a feather.

An instant flood of intense color radiates through your veins the moment you enter that door.

Its a freaky sensation of euphoria that rushes through your bones that whirls back around to embrace you again.

It might not make all the pain and sadness go all away forever.

But, it will create a new sense of meaning.

So please, let the thrill of the new wash away the nasty stain of the old.

Drop your fears and worries. 

Let them lie where they lie.

Open your mind, heart, and soul to the new.

Open the door to the unknown.

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(all credit goes to the original owner(s) of featured media)

 

Sycnchronicities- The Butterfly Effect

I am truly obsessed with The Butterfly Effect (or Chaos Theory). Ever since I heard of it, it just ‘clicked’ with me. This all started by watching a Let’s Play Youtube video of Until Dawn. (I’m honest when I say it takes a lot for something to stick in my mind. I do my best to look at things with an open mind and consideration before diving into anything) The intro pops up with colors fluxing to negative contrast with an image of a butterfly. The butterfly had the description: ‘A tiny butterfly flapping its wings may lead to a devastating hurricane weeks from now’. As the game continued to go forward past the raunchy cut scenes and game-play, the screen projected an image that has stuck in my mind for over a year now.

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(Until Dawn Game-play Image from Until Dawn Wikia)

After I see this image, I turned off the video, went to bed, and went to work the next day. About maybe 1-2 weeks later, at the peak of spring, I start to see butterflies everywhere I go. I noticed that majority of them were white, orange, and yellow. I usually saw the butterflies when I went back and forth to work. Only once did I see a brownish colored moth, which lead to a very difficult phase in my life. It felt as though I was dying, in some odd way. I felt depressed, angry, confused, nor did I understand all of the racing thoughts that zipped through my head. There was so much inner turmoil as I found myself struggling to let go of my past (people, things, old feelings, etc). In the end it was for the best. So, in terms of loss, I lost an old aspect of me that was no longer needed.

I ended up making new friends, getting back into school, gained more experience at work, let go of old stuff, got new stuff, and so much more than I could ever ask for. I have created a life for myself!

So, today I still see tons of butterflies everywhere I go. However, now their colors change and flow depending on where I currently am in life. Now and again I think to myself ‘who knew that a motif from a game could take form in my life’. It all makes sense now.

-Alex

(All credit belongs to original owner(s) of Until Dawn, Until Dawn Wikia, and featured media)