Confession #2

Back-to-School

“If I had the option to go back in time to when I was in my teens, I would simply decline it. If I had the option to change my past, again I would simply decline. If I had the power to change anything related to school, again I would simply decline that as well. Having all of this power in my hands doesn’t mean anything if I had to repeat a phase(s) in my life that I wish to change.”

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Hello! I’m now on Patreon and Paypal! Any kind of support will always be supported and appreciated. 

For any questions, comments, or concerns, feel free to contact me via: ASnowpasta@gmail.com

Catching up!

Hello! My apologies for the lack of posts and content lately. I’ve recently been hit by one of many life’s curveballs…. right in the gut, or so it seems. It has taken it’s toll on me emotionally and physically over the past few weeks. Since then, life itself really hasn’t been easy lately, and I’ve found it difficult to find the motivation to continue to pursue all of the great things I had in front of me. After feeling so down and beaten up, I realized that I couldn’t continue to feel defeated from things that were out of my control. I must use my passion to give me drive when I feel stranded in the darkness. With that I am moving forward with my personal passion and drive! 


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Dream Journal- Part 3: Odd Metropolis

(Note- due to the size of this Dream Journal post, the journal entry is split up into 3 different posts. This is part 3. Names and identities remain anonymous)

Between part 2-3 of my dream, I had a short segment where I had to go get something from my parent’s house in my hometown. I told myself that I had to go alone, yet little did I know that a few fuzzy critters, birds, squirrels, chipmunks, cats, deer, dogs, and so on started to follow me on my way. I finally found myself back to my parent’s house in flight, but again the morphing aspect took hold of this house. It seemed high and mighty as it sad on a mountain top… but in reality my parent’s home does not sit on a mountain. It at first appeared to be made from oak and thick glass, but then turned back into its original form. I wrapped myself around the side so I wouldn’t get caught, and then found myself through the front door. It kind of reminded me of something from a horror movie due to the modernized and ornate style. I had flashes of The Shining in my head and then managed to snap myself back into reality. I ran around the old home and found all kinds of beautiful dogs within it, dogs of all kinds. It felt like the right thing to let them go and to take the totem I was looking for. I kept hearing warnings from the smaller critters to get out, and I insisted not to without letting these animals free. The door behind me was opened and my Dad walked in. I felt like a deer in the headlights. My Dad had a weird sparkle in his eye and greeted me and I greeted him back. It was silent for a moment until all hell broke loose as he yelled a massive inhuman sound. Cain and a few of the animals ran through the front door, knocked my dad out of the way (Cain taking it a step further), and pulled me out of there and the dogs ran free. Cain was furious and asked me what I was doing there. I apologized and told him I had to go back for something. He kissed me and told him not to do it like that again, and if I were to go that he must go with me.

Moving forward with the dream, I found myself in the middle of a massive metropolis. I mean absolutely massive. I don’t think I have ever seen anything of this magnitude in my life before. Massive glass buildings that were see-through, beautiful courtyards lined with fountains, trees, birds, and places to hang out, study, and have a cup of coffee with friends. From what I could see, this seemed to be a city made entirely of schools. I believe there were at least three or four different schools put within these cities. All of its residents were students, teachers, professors, staff, custodians, and supervisors of these universities. It was absolutely amazing. All of my friends were there! It was so cool and I even met some new ones too. I spent my days with Cain and or my friends whether we were in class, studying, out and about, or just spending alone time with Cain within our home (I would say dorm, but these were individualized housing areas that were kind of like apartments). Did I also mention that things were kind of… well, anime like sort of? Well, they were.

One day we were in one of the many white washed libraries for a study session for one of our classes. It was me, Cain, Josephine, Francine, and a few others. Francine asked me if I could go with her to one of her classes just to sit in with her, I said yes, but got a very weird feeling in the pit of my stomach about it. I could tell Cain did too, but he was very subtle about it. I leaned forward towards him, kissed him, then said I’d be right back. He smiled back, waved, and told me not to be too long. I had that feeling that he was trying to stay positive despite the weird feeling we both got. From what I could tell, Francine was a mentor and tutor for this math class for younger students. It was awesome knowing that she would go out of her way to help other children. On my way through the campus’ courtyard, she told me that she wanted to be a Math tutor and hopefully teacher at one of the universities nearby us. I told her that I thought it was fantastic! 

I went in the classroom and was immediately creeped out. I could tell that it was old seeing the dirt and dust on the tiles of the floor, walls, and ceiling. Some of the squares were coming off the ceiling and the lights flickered on and off. The desks, projector, and white board were so old. The students and teacher seened relatively normal and they all greeted me sweetly. I was sitting in just to get an idea of what Francine would do. I hate math, but still wanted to see how she worked with kids because of my interests in Psychology and Art Therapy. As the class went on (which felt like in dragged on forever, which was only about 10-15 minutes in reality) that feeling of dread continued to grow. I told Francine I was going to hit the restroom. She told me class was going to be over soon, but said she was ok with it. I left my stuff there which Francine agreed to look over… that was the biggest mistake I have ever made. 

What was cool about that class was that it had a massive open door that led to outside. In reality besides having to go to the bathroom, I just really needed fresh air. I looked around the campus’ buildings, feeling a bit lost but amazed. I was still relatively new in this area. I could see large campus book stores, shopping areas, lab buildings, libraries, student lounges, and then finally found the restroom. I went in and out like that, but heard a large commotion. I looked outside and saw another restroom. There was a man with a bandana, black and blue clothing, and dark hair trying to grab a young woman in a pink tank and then shot her with a handgun when she resisted. More guys with bandanas ran out and around that one bathroom. I stood there and hid in the bathroom I was in for a second until they left that bathroom across from me so I could help that girl. I ran inside and a few other girls ran towards the far end of the bathroom screaming and crying. The girl that was shot wasn’t dead, only grazed on her arm, but others that were outside were. I realized I didn’t have my phone and my blood ran cold. I took a cloth and wrapped it around her arm to try to stop the bleeding. I was furious, so done with all of this. I got so angry that I attracted those shooters and dragged them into the bathroom. They tried to shoot me, but missed as I tore each and every part of them one by one. I don’t know where I got the strength from, but I would kill them, then pull them inside out. They begged and pleaded, but I did not stop. As soon as it was over, the girls in the bathroom with me were shocked, but one yelled “You did it!”. I stood back in horror and sadness only to find that they were no different from me and everyone else. I told them that I forgave them for what they did, apologized for what I did, and somehow they were standing again and allowed me to hug them. I saw a glimpse of Cain and others getting ready to enter the bathroom when the dream stopped and I woke up. 

This was just one of those vivid dreams that blew me away. I am grateful for how visually gifted and creative I am. My subconscious mind is so much more powerful when I allow that part of myself to flow. I think there is so much more that are dreams are telling us than what we see on the surface. Wow. Amazing. Beautiful.

-Alex

(Go back to Part 1)

(Go back to Part 2)

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School & Home- Practice & Beginning Sketches

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Various Art Pieces by Alex Snow 2016.

(Titles (not in order)- Soul Mates, 1999, Smile.dog, PH 2016, Untitled, Untitled)

Media: Graphite and or Micron Pens, Sharpies, and Charcoal

(Some pieces are based off of original Creepypastas (a.k.a. 1999 and Smile Dog)

School- Practice Charcoal Drawings 2016

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Untitled. Charcoal Drawings. by Alex Snow Fall 2016

Medium(s)- Charcoal: compressed, pencil, pink pearl eraser pencils, white erasers, white pebble erasers, blending stubs, reductive style.

School- Short Mannequin Sketch Exercise

Untitled. by Alex Snow 2016

6 More Common Dream Motifs

I have more common dream motifs that I want to share, which is just an addition to the previous post. (This might become a series depending on how many motifs continue to occur in my dreams or the dreams of those involved with The Dream Gallery or #Dreamshare). Please let me know what you think of these! =)

12509805_10205938281160054_532721270981018748_n         Ocean: Ah the deep blue. What a beautiful, calming sight within a dream’s context. Regardless if the weather is stormy, calm, choppy, clouded, day, or night, its beauty never wavers. In majority of my dreams, I stand at the edge of the shore, staring at the ocean and horizon beyond. Anyway, I have learned over time that the ocean is the representation of the inner depths of our subconscious. The ocean is so deep, beautiful, mysterious… well, so is our inner selves. Who knows what is there? Only the soul does. 


Three-Part-Love          Romance: This has been a motif that has come up on and off within my dreams for many, many years now. It really doesn’t seem to matter how old I am, where I am in life, or what I have been preoccupied with, I still feel a soft, gentle, warm feeling within my body and all around me, caressing my being. Objects and people appear to me in such a loving and gentle way, as gentle as a rose. Anyway, I’m still learning about what romance within my dreams truly means. Is this appearing because I need it or want it in my life? Or is it something much deeper… perhaps the motif is reflecting an aspect of myself? Is it the representation of the love and passion I wish to express to others? 


Back-to-School        School: The grounds with which lessons, growth, aging, and maturity have appeared on and off within my dreams all my life. The daily impact of school, learning, life lessons, and growth influence my dreams. School, whether in my dream state or not has always represented a place of growth physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. The people, objects, state of school, classrooms, teachers, and grade varies based on where I am in life, especially when I am faced with a great amount of change and growth. 


131122232657-sex-couple-feet-bed-story-top         Sex: I am not at all ashamed to say that sex has been a motif that has come up in my dreams. It’s a very symbolic, spiritual, sensual, mutual, natural, and important aspect of our lives. I really doubt that it just represents the state of our libido, but that’s just me. I believe that the nature, location, energy, participants, etc in regards to the sex motif really expresses the connections and their true meaning in our life. Perhaps there is something about the aspect of the relationship(s) we have with people are something we need to pay attention to. 


20060123220519!Conch_shell_1           Shell: Pastel-sand colored conch shells, sand dollars, and or seashells have appeared in quite a few of my dreams. After so many dreams, I still wonder what this motif means. Some dream meanings show that seashells or conches are often a warning sign of something. I really do not believe or feel its a warning sign per say, but maybe more of a sign of something to acknowledge or keep in mind. Its not an object  that is ‘out of the blue’ around the ocean, so why would or could it be considered a warning? In the dreams where I do see seashells, they often nearly blend in well with the sand of the shore or with the sunrise/sunset I see beyond the ocean. 


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        Shore: For a while, I did not really understand what the shore of the ocean meant within a dream. But, from what I can recall it is the gateway, or the portal that connects the conscious and subconscious aspects of ourselves. In just about every dream I have had that involves the ocean, the shore is usually very calm, clean, and smooth. When there is much chaos in my life, then the shore tells a different story.

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