I feel it too

16583100_133756863809100_3082913794058354688_n

Yes… the ultimate trigger of fear does it alright…

There it is… right in front of you… a few inches from your face.

Ultimate evil.

Can you feel that cold, sweaty, clammy, uncontrollable buzz in your arms and legs that makes you feel the NEED to move?

Yes, you know what I’m talking about.

Millions of fibers sparking off in your body telling you to MOVE away from the evil being in front of your face.

That feeling that makes standing still hurt so so much!

Your limbs and insides feel like a bottle of soda shaken to its core ready to burst.

Do you feel shame for having to move? 

Do you feel shame for having to keep still?

Do you blame yourself for running?

Do you feel guilt for feeling that things are out of your control?

Do you feel guilt for being helpless?

Helpless like a fish out of water.

What is it that you feel?

Can you describe it with words? Feelings? Touch? Movement?

It is not your fault dear friend. 

I feel it too.

I feel it every single day.

You are not alone in this endless waltz of fear and insanity.

I am right by your side as we waltz on for an eternity.

cooltext249072193481591


Outro thought: What doesn’t kill you make you stronger, right? What is it that you’re running from?

P.S. Hey, I’m now on Patreon and Paypal! Please feel free to connect with me if you wish! Any support that you can give will always be appreciated thank you!

If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, feel free to email me at ASnowpasta@gmail.com

Dream Journal: The WTF Work Dream

I’m going to be quite honest and say that I get these kinds of dreams if I am under a lot of stress, or if my mind is full of racing thoughts and emotions. So, I can AT LEAST say that I’ve kind of got an idea of why I had this dream.

clock

As I drifted off the sleep, I woke up looking at my phone and saw it was 7:10 am. “What? NO! I overslept!” I exclaimed. I thrashed into my old roommate’s room and asked her what time it was. She was standing next to her dark oak dresser, fully dressed in work attire, putting down her brush and her clock read 7:10 am. “What’s wrong”, she asked me with intent. Her room was lit in such an odd fashion. What used to be the sliding glass door was nothing but a wall of light with the rest of her room being dimly lit. “I overslept and I am going to be late for work! Is that even the right time?” I said nervously as I rushed back into my room somehow in work attire without much an effort to get dressed. The clock had a completely different time on it. I ran back and forth and saw the clock on my phone and my room constantly changing time from 7:10, 7:45, 6:10, and then lastly 8:10. ‘SHIT!’ I yelled to myself as I literally ran in circles to get my things together.

gas-station

The house started to rotate, shift, evaporate, and then mold into a gas station/market on a gray suburban street filled with fog. As our surroundings shifted, my old roommate glanced around her room in confusion. I ran back and forth from my room to her room, through the bathroom with somehow morphed into a milky white tiled hallway into the front section of a gas station. I was panicking about finding my pants and while doing this, my pants were on, disappeared, changed colors, and then reappeared in my hand and was wearing white pants. (For the sake of this dream, the names of the people in this dream will only be represented by uppercase letters). I walked out the glass door which seemed transparent into the street. My old roommate stood by me for a bit and then told me she had to go to work and to have a good day. I got a call on my cell phone, which was no longer a smartphone, but a blue qwerty phone I used to own. One of my bosses H called me and asked where I was. I had explained that I was having trouble with the clocks changing in my home and that I couldn’t find my pants. H calmly said that everything was going to be okay and that he would talk to me about it when I get there. He hung up before I could finish.

salad-bar-cropped

I walk back into the front end of the store, standing in front of the rows of snacks, magazines, and miscellaneous items. Next thing I know, H appears in front of me for a few moments, like as if we were at work and nothing in particular was going on. I was beyond confused. Another one of my bosses, K shows up and H told me that K was going to show me to a new place in the store and what I’d be doing. K told me to follow him, and I did. we walk farther into the store to this market like place that looked a lot like Sizzlers. K explained to me on how I would be stocking and cleaning the rows of food. I walk by a salad bar, much like Sizzlers with the dim lighting and earthy tones and see O and A grabbing some salad. “Hey Alex, how are you doing?” O asked me in a cheery tone as he took the tongs and selected a variety of food to put on his clear platter. “I’m fine, how are you?”.  I came up from behind O to grab some salad. A smiled sweetly at me and O said ,”We are doing great!”. They both walked off and the dream ended. 

-Alex

(All credit goes to original owner(s) of featured media)