Weekly Funnies- The Corny Jokes Will NEVER End

 

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 Sometimes, life can be n absolute pain in the ass. Why not add some humor to add some comfort to the madness? Any little bit of positivity wouldn’t hurt, right???

Oh god, here we go again… more corny jokes??? How is this madness possible??? Anyway… Alright! Here we go!

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This is what happens when you add some spice to your life. XD

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I can’t eat an ‘I scream cone’…

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Uh oh… poor feller…

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God help us all…

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Wait, pencil factories exist?

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We are all doomed…

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Stuffing is the cure to the great toy famish! No fluffy stuffed animal will be left behind.

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Trust me, it’s not as painful as it sounds.

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*Bad-dum Tss*!

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Bring it forky!

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This pun is making me hungry.

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“Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen!”

I hope you all have a fantabulous night! Life might not be easy, but it is so worth it.

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Zeal Zen Skelly

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Trippy as the stars.

Clear purpose and a meatball.

A zen meatball, yes.

Clear away the dust.

Open your fucking eyes man.

Your life is waiting.

Waiting for you to go on.

Follow the cosmos.

So reach for the stars with zeal.

Stay zen and weightless.

Life is amazing, it’s sick!

Don’t waste your life man.

Keep it zen like the skeleton men.

Peace

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Weekly Funnies- Too Funny For Halloween

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For those who don’t enjoy Halloween or the terror behind it all, here’s something that I know will make your Halloween! Not everything needs to be ‘spoopy’ or scary this time of year. There’s always room for a laugh or two, oh and maybe a D’awwww or two.

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Oh god… not the spiders, NOT THE SPIDERS!!!!

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I’m the pumpkin man! I’m not made of snow, but I’m still just as cute! 

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New year, new cut, new style.

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Don’t text and ‘fly’ god dammit!

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I’m soooooooo KAWAII!!!! Love me! Love me!

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I don’t know how to break this to you but… you don’t have a green thumb…. sorry.

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Awww shucks, he just wants a kiss! 

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Wait, what?

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The bar of chocolate a day keeps the Grim Reaper away!

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Hey! Don’t judge me.

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Smooth and classy. =3

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Most unique support group ever… ’nuff said.


I hope that bringing on the funnies brightened your day! Happy Halloween everyone!

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Weekly Funnies- Boxer Madness Poetry

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Bodacious and beautiful

Obnoxious but not oblivious

EXtremely energetic and enthusiastic

Everybody loves her precious little face

Ready for adventure, taking life by the hand.

Social butterfly at heart; loves all people.

That is what the meaning of BOXERS really is. I love you with all of my heart Zuzu. You are my life, my world, my everything. ❤ 

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Dream Journal- “Yeah, I know, I’ve got your girl! What are you going to do about it?”

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Have you ever had one of those dreams that comes when you go back to sleep after sleeping for a while? Well, this is one of those kinds of dreams. Despite the fact that I can vividly remember my dreams majority of the time, I tend to have trouble remembering dreams if I have them when I go back to sleep. Here is the dream I had!

The first few moments of the dream are a little bit fuzzy. I could recall barely seeing a couple co-workers, a person or two that I dated in the past, and a few others whom I have never met before. There was a mesh of colors and lights for a while until I found myself and a few others on this dirt path by a small lake which faced a massive castle. It was beginning to get dark and stormy as a crack of thunder and lightning could be heard and seen in the distance. One of my managers, whom we will call Greg, nudged me and a few others to head into the castle. I could recall seeing many orbs, flying sparkles, and even elemental spirits flying about.

We went into the castle with which it’s interior kept changing. People started to separate into groups who searched around the castle. Doors would appear and disappear, spirits of the dead and odd creatures fluttered about. The floor remained at a constant color of red and black checkerboard. The ceiling was the stormy sky that was above us, yet no rain came down upon us. Was it maybe an illusion? A magical effect of some sort? The walls morphed from castle brick, to being painted white, to intricate victorian era design. Wall decor and objects in the halls changed around as well. In fact, some of these inanimate objects would come to life. A bust of an older man came to life and started to talk. I couldn’t quite understand what it said to me.

The one person in the dream that I used to date started changing forms constantly and so did a few others. I remember feeling like I was standing right by him, but in reality I wasn’t even there. I realized this to be the case when others in our niche didn’t even notice that I was there. I found that I was observing him and Greg from an odd angle. Greg took the guy I used to date and pushed him through a door. The door was filled with blackness and thunder and lightning briefly lit up through the door. Greg walked off to the left and absolutely disappeared while a few others went off in a completely different direction.

I found myself standing in the morphing hallway when another co-worker, we’ll call him Sean, called me over to what appeared to be a slightly outdated computer lab. Another person or two was in there, they were old classmates from my grade school years. Like the rest of the hall, the computer lab changed. Old computers were getting switched out with newer ones out of thin air, a green chalkboard appears only to be replaced by a white one. The desks and tables continue to change and upgrade around us. In the meantime during these changes to the classroom, Sean talked about himself briefly, but then starts engaging me by talking about my future, the ever changing walls of the castle, and my own well being. We start getting closer and closer to one another. Light orbs, color forms of energy, and light beings begin to come into the classroom and begin to create a portal of light in the white dry erase board. We kissed and held each other affectionately when all of a sudden, the thing that used to be the guy that I dated was a complete stranger… and I emphasize strange!

No one recognized him, not even Greg. It was like he was invisible to everyone else. I could see through the door he went through and it was a dismal. There was two rows of stairs, one on the left and the other upside down in the sky. The background was an endless dark sky with very dark colors. He was short, wearing medieval attire, spoke in a silly accent, and tried to manipulate me to join him on some journey that involved Unicorns. Sean called me over and wrapped his arms around me very tightly. It felt so real too! Sean and the silly shorty went at it with one on one. The shorty tried to argue with Sean who basically said, “Look, I know I’ve got your girl! What are you going to do about it? It’s over! Go on! Move on!” Eventually the shorty closed the door and walked away. The morphing hallway started to settle down into a solid structure and the pull towards the portal of light got stronger. Sean asked if I was okay and I responded saying I was. We got more affectionate until the light engulfed us, ending the dream.

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Weekly Funnies- WTF Face Wednesday

17-09-16-1Wait, wait, wait… it’s only Wednesday???

What da hell?!

I’m giving this day/week/month/year/thingy the bird, erm I mean tongue!

Happy Wednesday everyone! Happy Hump Day!

-Alex

(all credit goes to the original owner(s) of featured media)

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To be cray cray is to be real.

Cray cray is life.

Enjoy it and love who you are.

Normality is scary.

Blissful insanity is fun.

Let’s be blissfully insane

-Alex

(all credit goes to the original owner(s) of featured media)