I don’t care if it’s the apocalypse! I’m putting up Halloween decorations.
I hope you enjoyed these memes!
I don’t care if it’s the apocalypse! I’m putting up Halloween decorations.
I hope you enjoyed these memes!
We’re almost done with 2020 and boy it’s been a year for the history books. What is desperately needed now is some positivity and funnies! The holidays are finally here so you know what that means, holiday memes! Let’s get started on some holiday funnies!
Ouch! I have to admit that it’s National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation pretty right?
Why give away a perfectly good brick?
Hey! That’s not Santa, quick! Hide the cookies, it’s a trash panda!
One of them is cuter and definitely funnier than the other. I’d rather have the lizard than the boxed whatever hahaha.
“Don’t lie! You have an extra batch of cookies for Santa paws, right?”
Haters gonna hate and I’m gonna ice skate!
I thought this was supposed to be a quick gig Martha!
I hope y’all enjoyed these festive funnies! I also hope that everyone has a wonderful day!
With how everything has been over the past few months, why not share a few laughs with a few zombie memes? It’s silly, horror themed for the horror fam, and some of them are just so darn cute! Let’s take a moment from the stressful news and brighten up your day with something silly (possibly bringing things that were once dead in the meme world… double the undead process!!)
Oh no honey this has nothing to do with bath salts… the first step to recovery is acceptance and you must accept that you are a zombie. 😂
Who keeps calm anymore????? I don’t!!!
I hope you enjoyed this short bit of funnies! Stay safe and have a wonderful evening.
It might be only September, but does that really matter? Hell no! Halloween, aka spooky season is here! Decor, movies, candy galore? It’s never too early to get excited for Halloween, it’s also never too early nor too late for the funnies! Here we go!
“I don’t like horror movies.”
…. awkward *eye twitches*
I freaking hate it when this happens! That’s why you should never wash your mask Jason!
It’s never too early for Halloween dammit!!!
This sounds like a fun project for the whole family! (Your neighbors will love you and appreciate you for this)! 😁
This is what horror villains do for fun! 😂
Oh my gosh they are just so VERY “friendly”! Uh… Hm…
Here’s the truth about vampires and why they’re not fun to be with: they all suck!
Hey, it’s what I do! It really does work! 👍
If it makes you happy and it doesn’t hurt anyone, then why not? (Unless if you enjoy killing people like Jason Vorhees or Michael Myers… *gulp*).
The definition of Creepypasta can have emphasis and class, right?
Have a nice night everyone!
What in God’s name is that?? Don’t be surprised if you find yourself saying that a few times on this post. I ran across these beauties randomly and I thought they were worth a share!
I’m not sure if this is the same fork in the road that was mentioned in that famous Robert Frost poem. (Yes I’m being facetious)
Can anyone imagine all the things that can get done in two extra days added to the week??? Wow, these store owners must be time wizards!!
Uh… I think it might be best to leave the potential psychopath on the other side of that fence alone… *gulp*
Would this be better to use than Silly String or worse?
So… this is what Thor’s weapon is made of?
History has repeated itself!
Well, the bird is technically ‘chilling’.
Life IS a video game!
Uh… kinky? 0.o
This is proof that there are damn half asses at work!
Oh really? I had no idea!
Hell yeah! Bring it!
For God’s sake, close that damn door! Its going to scare the kids! XD
Let me know when you see it!
You can’t be too careful!
(credit _youhadonejob1 via Twitter)
I hope you enjoyed this extra long funnies post! I hope everyone has a nice day/night.
*Dramatic opera voice* Funny goats, funny goats, funny goats, funny goats, funny goats, FUNNY GOATS!!! Part 2! Are you ready ladies and gentlemen? Here we go!
Maybe both? (She’s okay, she’s playing dead! *gulp*)
You have been excused!
This goat is SAVAGE!!!
I hope you can get this game on my iphone.
So… I don’t pass go and I don’t collect $200?
This goat obviously has not heard of goat tetris!
*takes bite out of shag rug* What? I do too!
Come here and give me a kiss!!! =*
Hit it Adele!!!!
I hope everyone has a wonderful day/evening/night/morning… =)
ASnowpasta Chronicles turns 3 today!!!!
My, my where did the time go?
I never thought that in a million years I would be this dedicated to anything like this in my life.
I have poured so much time and energy into this site and it never gets old.
And yet, the truth is this is only the beginning for this site.
I cannot thank you all enough for the love and support that has made this site a reality.
I’m grateful for everyone who continues to follow me on this wonderful journey called life.
Here’s to three years and many more to come.
Oh god… it’s here… it’s FINALLY here!!! It’s Autumn!! Who’s ready for some Fall Funnies???
Here we go!
Sing it everybody! 1, 2, 3, 4!
That’s right! I’m the cutest drink that you’ll ever find! (And, I’m also limited edition)
Pug: “I disagree with Mr. Spiky latte there. PUG-in spice lattes are the best of the best!”
Omg, it’s here!!! Run for your lives!!!
Yeah… I wouldn’t count on it!
Well, that took an unexpected turn. >.<
Who’s ready for Halloween???? =D
7 more days… 7… more… days… are you ready for this?
“I think we should start heading back.” Joe said in a very cold tone, almost monotone.
“Already???” Kevin whined.
“It’s 10 minutes to 3 am.” His tone of voice chilled me to the bone.
“So?” Kevin stood up from the piles of paper and tilted his head.
“3 am is the witching hour. We’re not supposed to be out in the woods past 3 am, especially no later than 3:33 am.” Joe still sounded a hair away from being monotone and I really didn’t understand why. I felt this urge within my gut to figure it out. Why was he so serious about this? What is so significant about it being 3 am?
“Where in the world did you get that idea Joe?” I asked. I was really starting to feel off. I felt my stomach drop yet again… I completely forgot that I had this terrible feeling to begin with. Maybe leaving wasn’t such a bad idea.
“We don’t have much time! Let’s just get out of here! I’ll explain it to you later.” Joe’s cold tone quickly turned into a frantic tone. This was just too weird to explain.
“Oh come on man… We-” before Kevin finished his sentence, Joe stepped out the door and slammed it.
“What the hell man?” I grabbed as many papers as I could, stuffed them in my camera bag, then ran with Kevin to the door.
“Shit!” No matter how hard we pushed and yanked the knob, the door just would not budge. “Okay Jacob, step back from the door. I’m going to run at it and push it with all my might.”
“Uh okay… I’m ready” I stepped to the left of the door and watched my brother count down to three. My brother Kevin was a very big kid for his age. Not necessarily overweight, but just big in general. He was also very, very strong and played a lot of sports growing up. Baseball, Basketball, Hiking, Running, Cross Country, Tennis, Swimming, you name it. Hell, he currently plays college baseball at University of Iowa! Kevin is an absolute beast!
Anyway, I’m getting off topic. I had full faith that he would get this damn door open. With all his might he charged at the door and it burst open. The door swung to the right and Kevin tumbled down the stairs onto the uneven earth below. He fell face first into the earth with a loud thud. I quickly rushed to Kevin’s side.
“Hey!! Are you okay????”
“Ow, fuck… yeah I think so. I scraped my left knee up pretty badly, but I think it’s okay.” He got back up nonchalantly and brushed the dust off his shorts and Baseball T shirt. Thank god he’s okay… I let out a huge sigh of relief.
“What are you guys doing??? Goddammit man, how did you get all scraped up?” Both Kevin and I jumped and found Joe standing right behind us in disbelief.
“Now why the fuck did you block the door like that? That wasn’t funny man! We couldn’t get out.” Kevin got right up in Joe’s nearly expressionless zitty face. Joe took his glasses off for a moment, wiped them off, then put them back on his face. Then Joe suddenly began to laugh, and I don’t mean his usual awkward laugh he did every once in a while, but an almost maniacal laugh. This was very unlike Joe. He rarely pranked people and when he did, they were minor things like jumping out from behind people. He fell to the ground and started to roll on his back. “Oh my god!! I’m dying!!! I can’t believe you actually fell for that 3 am shit! That was too funny!”
“It’s not funny Joe! We both couldn’t get out! Why would you do that?” Suddenly Joe was able to collect himself and sat up from the bround.
“What are you talking about man? I was barely pressed up against it, then as I overheard one of you guys count to three, I jumped away from the door at the last minute.” All three of us looked back at the door and It was left wide open, slightly unhinged. “There is absolutely no way that I could’ve made it that hard for you two to get out.” Joe got up off the ground and looked back at the door.
“Oh my god, what the fuck is that smell??” Joe exclaimed. A putrid odor of rotting meat and sulfur overwhelmed our senses within an instant. We covered our mouths and started to gag. It stung my eyes and made my throat burn. All three of us started to look around to see where the smell was coming from.
A bone chilling whisper came up right behind us and said,”Get out!” All three of us turn around to see an eyeless girl in a tattered and torn old dress. She must have been at least 6-7 years old. Her skin was as nasty pale gray color, just like the the gray and brown dress she wore. Her dark brown hair was curled in a very old fashioned style. She had buttons for eyes which had blood seeping towards the bottom of them. Her mouth was wide open and her breath smelled like pure death. All three of us screamed at the top of our lungs and ran into the trees. What happened next was just an absolute nightmare…
To be continued….
The girl crossed her arms and let out a forced sigh. “You keep saying, ‘You’ll see’, but I don’t see anything! What you are saying makes no sense at all.”
“You’re not a very patient one are you?” The orb said in a very calm matter.
“No, it’s not that I’m impatient. It’s just that everything is so different, so big, so vivid, so colorful and so…”
Suddenly, a luminescent seed of life appeared in front of the girl and the spirit orb. A relatively small moon and a unidentifiable planet appeared behind the colossal seed. The orb thrusted the girl with all its might at the colossal seed and she stuck to it like the merging of magnets. The girl tried to stand up, but she ended up falling backwards and stuck to the seed.
“What the? Get me off this thing!!!!”
“Just rotate the seed and you will be free of it’s magnetic force.”
“Now how do I do that spirit orb?” The girl said in a impatient tone.
“Have you ever played with a toy top before?”
“Yeah, I used to collect them when I was little. I still have a full drawer at home… if I ever get there that is.”
“Okay, listen very carefully on what you need to do. Now first I want you to close your eyes.” The orb proceeded to float in her direction.
“Okay. My eyes are closed.” The orb sat on top of the girl’s head as soon as she closed her eyes.
“Now this might make you feel a little bit dizzy, but the feeling will quickly dissipate. Now that you have your eyes closed, I want you to envision the shape that you are stuck to as of right now. The shape is called ‘The Seed of Life.'”
“Okay.” The girl started to envision the colossal glowing seed. “Now what do I need to do next?”
“Do you see that shape that you are looking at?”
“Yes, I can see it in my mind. Now what would you like me to do?”
“I want you to envision that shape, really really focus on it. With that, envision the seed of life as a top.”
“Uh okay… How do I do that?”
“Take that shape that you see, and form it into a top. Think of it if you were to draw a picture or make a sculpture out of it.”
“I think I understand what you mean… okay.”
“Do you see the top?”
“Yes I do see the top.”
“Spin the top.”
“I said spin the top! Spin it as fast as you can.”
“How do I do that if I can’t even touch it???”
“Envision it spinning dear girl.” The massive seed of life began to rotate in a 360 degree manner as soon as the girl began to spin the top.
“Oh god! I’m dizzy. Holy crap! Oooooooouuuuughhhh…”
“It’s alright dear girl! Give it a moment.”
“Okay. I trust you spirit orb. Whooooaaaaaaahhhh!!!!!” The colossal seed rotated faster and faster as the top in the girl’s mind spun. It eventually spun at breakneck speed. Suddenly the girl was yanked off the spinning seed and a flash of bright golden light filled her vision for a moment.
“Here we go! Hang on tight!” The spirit orb stretched its wings almost as far as the eye could see. The wings, like the flash of light were so bright that they blinded the girl’s vision for a few moments. The duo gently float down onto a large boulder that sat several yards from a massive waterfall. The girl rubbed her eyes and opened them. She was in awe of the new world that appeared in front of her eyes.
“You did it.” The orb said. A jolt of unbearable pain shot through the girl’s spine up through her head and once again she was on the ground in agony. The excruciating jolt lasted for only a few seconds. As soon as the jolt of pain stopped, the girl stood up. She felt her shoulders again and found that the bumps that were once there were significantly bigger. They were 3-4 inches in length and they were much thicker than before. She looked at the spirit orb in disbelief, then outwards towards the horizon of the new world.