Maybe…

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“Maybe it’s not bad.”

Darkness is not a bad thing.

To me, it’s soothing.

“Maybe it’s something we need.”

Can you see the stars?

The darkness ignites the stars.

They outshine the sun.

“Maybe we should embrace it.”

Not maybe, we do.

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A Saying of Faith 3

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Do small things matter?

I thought they got in the way.

Maybe I was wrong.

Big things are made from small things.

Faith is a big thing.

Faith depends on smaller things.

Small things do matter.

They make up the big picture.

Small things are good too.

Have faith.

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Dream Journal- If Death was a Human

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It has definitely been awhile since I have made any dream journal entries. This dream that I had a few nights ago really stuck out to me because of its nature and overall message. I have never seen Death as an actual physical, human-like being… until I had this dream. 

I was walking with a large group of people, which seemed to be a class from school. We were in a different state, Oregon or Washington most likely. There was a bit of a chill in the air and very low humidity. The scenery was mostly a dull gray color with the exception of the greenery and the colorful neon lights that lined the inside of a bar that we were about to go into. What was strange about this is we were on a campus or town square of some sort, and it was deserted with the exception of me and the class I was going with. We went into the bar which all of a sudden felt as though it was on water with a gentle ebb and flow tilting the room side to side. It was a basic classic bar with everything made from oak and bright neon signs and wine glasses hanging from the ceiling above the bar area. All of a sudden we were surrounded by these strange men with glassy eyes who grabbed a large amount of people and pushed them through a large black door. They tried to grab me too, but I yanked away from them and made it out the front door. 

I was back outside with dozens of people who were standing in a large circle. There was a malevolent looking woman, dressed in black and red, with this black swirling mist that loosely wrapped around her body like a serpent pacing around me and a few other people. She had a wicked smile, black and red eyes, light blonde hair, and pearl white teeth. There was an amphitheater and stage and a large bed of navy blue water that sat before the stage. Everyone appeared to be in a trance and more people slowly walked to the circle which grew in size. I challenged the malevolent woman on what was happening and she claimed that this was the work of death itself; which the woman presumed to be death. Cracks of thunder and lightning came from the sky that lit up our surroundings and all of the entranced people were picked up from the lightning and were placed in several different locations. Folks were transported to a concrete coliseum with a grassy stage while others were transported to open fields of nothingness as well as several random locations in the city such as a prison yard, the stage, and the bar. 

I could see where all of the people were and how they were to die, and I felt so helpless. It was torture watching tens, hundreds, thousands of people being annihilated with the blink of an eye. A light jolted through the innocents by the thousands, which caused the earth to raise for a single moment, and as soon as it started it stopped. Their bodies went limp and I felt myself screaming “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!”. I looked back at the woman and again, screamed at her, asking her why. It was just me and her at that moment in time. Suddenly parts of her body started to show between the seams of her clothes and the truth of her form was revealed: she was made up of several different body parts from different people, stitched together limb by limb. Each limb differed in shade ever so slightly, but generally it was all the same. Soon out of the woman’s mass, a man with thick black hair, dark eyes, ‘perfect’ structure, and looks that could kill. These two people were made by the body parts of the fallen. The man soon claimed himself as being death and I was stuck with them. 

I felt so much anger and rage as I saw both of them live in luxury. They had everything they could ever want, except everything was either black or dark-colored damask. They had everything from their own personal amphitheater, massive mansion filled with riches, and exotic creatures that could only ever exist in a dream. They had all of the power in the world, being able to kill by the millions who were entranced by their black magic. But then… they got bored. This created slight conflict with Death and his mistress. Suddenly, their body parts that were stitched together started to slightly tear, mix, and morph with other body parts. I held light within my own hands; it radiated around my body and I took my chance to disable Death. With the use of my light, their most prized exotic animal, also made from the dead dissolved and melted to nothing. Death’s mistress popped into a cloud of smoke and light then dissolved to dust. Death had lost control of his own humanoid form and I walked from their room onto the outdoor stage that faced the water.

I stared up at the sky and heard a deep voice praising me and encouraging me to go forward. A light started to envelop me and I could hear the voices of many cheer me on, even though I felt so unsure. I was then given wings, which I had all along as well as many other gifts added on to my being. The edges of each gift lit up like lightning and felt warm and sensitive to the touch. I knew right then and there what I had to do as the light parted the clouds in the sky, and the angelic beings which glowed in pure light, came down to me and started to guide me. I ran through the field of nothingness to find if anyone was still alive. I was heartbroken to find that I couldn’t find any survivors, until I went a little bit farther down. I was relieved to hear that there were still many others that were alive who still needed my help. I managed to help free people of their trances, then my vision turned to light as I woke up.

I still wonder if the dream reflects anything going on it my life literally or metaphorically… who knows?

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Lost faith.  — Sweta Ojha (Beautiful Share)

To people who believe none, I understand there’s not much good that has happened and you are afraid to trust and let someone in. It’s okay to take your time but it is never alright to lose faith in mankind. Heartbreaks are necessary. They are a certain slideshow of reality that prince charming is a […]

via Lost faith.  — Sweta Ojha

Letter to Dearest

Here’s to the one who gave me my wings;

I hope you’re fucking happy.

I hope you’re fucking smiling with glee.

I can still feel your thoughts drilling through the tender fabric stitches that keeps my head attached to my spine.

I have blatantly forgotten what pure joy means.

You created me with insight, intuition, empathy, and love.

All of these things I sought out for the answers.

I hoped I could help others.

I hoped I could make a difference.

I hoped I could keep others safe and sound.

I hoped I could assure others that everything would be ok.

Success from this plan has always fallen sort.

You were supposed to guide me on my life’s path.

You were supposed to be there.

You were supposed to help open my eyes to the divine truth.

People run from me in pure horror without a second glance.

Countless times my insight and intuition created conflict and turmoi;.

The more I knew and wished to share, the more people cowered in my presence.

I can feel their petrifying fear relentlessly slashing and scraping out every bit of my soul.

Never taken seriously… my messages fell on deaf ears.

Treated like a malevolent being covered in black tar and puss.

All of the things I have seen have made my eyes burn from the inside out.

Not even gouging my eyes out would make it all go away.

The sensations I get haunt me.

A flood of vividly colored ghosts that never go away once expressed and cleared.

Good or bad ghosts feel the same to me now.

I am so jaded, beyond the deepest, darkest, blackest shade.

I’ve reached out to others out of pure, divine, and infinite love.

I reach out with the burning passion that ignites every fiber of my being.

I reveal what lays underneath my wings.

I reveal the gifts you gave me.

I reveal the gates of truth that have been presented to me to show unto others.

Gentle or harsh pictures within solid frames flip through my mind like a 3D book.

It’s almost as if I’m there within the pictures that I see.

Not a movie goer within the seats, but an actor within the film itself.

I burst and fall down in flames the longer these sensations stay within my being.

The ones who receive the visions give me things that I did not expect to see.

They give me fear as I project love.

They give me grief as I reflect the light which sadly seems to blind them.

They give me avoidance as I reach out of love.

They give me reluctant looks as I reveal my truest revelations.

They reject my entire being when it’s just too much to bare.

Some have called me evil.

Some have deliberately struck back at me like as if I was a merciless predator.

Some have called my way of life as sinful and forbidden to the great scriptures.

Almost all run away from me.

Almost all who don’t run detach themselves from me.

Almost all pretend I that don’t exist.

Almost all believe that what I perceive is mere fantasy.

Almost all who wish to dive in further only cut me loose and run.

Seldom wish to stay around.

Seldom wish to dive any further for the truth.

Seldom continue to love me the way they did before.

I fear the ones I’ve reached out to the most.

I fear they refuse to see the truth within.

No one will understand the pain as they throb like fresh whip lashings.

Shamed like an old soggy dog only to be kicked in the gut then falls to the ground.

The ones with the deepest connections with me are lying.

The ones with the deepest connections cower in fear.

The ones that matter the most is the most dangerous one of all.

One as Intuitive as I yet seemingly so hard for me read.

One whose energy rotates with a simple flip of a die.

That die rotates to one flat surface to the same one in the end of a flip.

A curious one who wants to know more, growing to understand.

One that sees me as an enigma, always thirsty for more.

One of the many who I’ve opened up my wings to.

One who has seen the light, but finds to only be somewhat adjusting.

I can feel these thoughts shredding me apart.

Like once too many times before it seems that I opened my wingspan too far this time.

Now I fear maybe since perhaps I made a fatal mistake this time.

I can feel these thoughts shredding me apart.

I can feel my fear drilling their fangs into my heart.

Their tiny little incisions drain me dry of life.

I run for cover, for protection, for safety. 

You told me that this was right way to go.

You told me to tell them all the truth.

You told me that everything is going to be alright.

Despite expressing imbalances, there is the one who always asks for more.

I cannot undo this damned curse that’s ripping me apart.

I know in the end I will find myself alone again.

I ran to protect my light.

The same light that killed them all.

The one who I thought I scared the most only wants to see more of the truth within me.

But how can that be?

Regardless, many have hated me, forgotten me, abused me, rejected me.

All because of the intuition and insight you gave to me.

I had enough of my ‘gifts’.

I hated how my gifts made them all run.

It’s a progressing and regressing infinite loop between hatred and love.

Now look at the monster you have created.

Now look at me.

I have ruined everything that I have ever touched.

I no longer just love you, I hate you too.

I am not the one you need.

I hate you. I love you.

I can feel the visions and the thoughts ripping me apart.

Ripping me apart.

This is the light?

This is the truth?

I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you.

This light is my curse and my blessing.

I hate you. I love you. I love you. I hate you.

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Twilight Eyes

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I can see the skies right in between my eyes.

I cannot lie, its so beautiful that I could cry.

I thank the universe for this gift because it has led to an eternal shift.

Feeling so free is indeed the key.

Its all I ever could be, which is me. 

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