#Spirituality · Behind the Scenes · Creature Features · Dreams · Special Causes · Universal World · World of Psyche · Writing and Poetry

Spirit in Blue- Where I came from

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I awake to find myself under infinite blue light. One moment I find myself stuck between multiple realities, sitting under a tree, to now this. 

I feel no pain, no worry, no sorrow, no fear, no anger, nothing. No… not nothing. Instead I feel ‘complete’. I feel whole, like as if everything that I had ever wanted or needed was with me right now.

I felt infinite joy; a wave of pure light consumed me and now I find myself in this beautiful, beautiful light; the same light that consumed me.

I no longer had a physical form; no longer bound to the earth where I once stood. I felt so free, it was liberating. I was right where I needed to be. 

The best part is, all I could feel is love. Infinite love. I wasn’t alone either. No, I felt surrounded by a sea of everything that is and what was; which was with me now.

I didn’t care about the things I would have cared about if I was back upon the earth I stood. Everything felt perfect. 

Just when I thought I was free of commitment, I felt the spirit in blue speak to me again. “It’s time to go dear little one.”

“Wait, no… NO!!! I don’t want to go. Please! No!” I started to feel afraid. I began to cry uncontrollably. I didn’t know what to do.

“There is much work that needs to be done. And you are the biggest part to it. The key.” The voice paused for a moment. “You are safe dear child. No need to worry.”

“I don’t want to go spirit!” I cried out loud.

“You won’t be gone for very long my dear. We need your help.”

“Why me spirit? Why me?”

“You shall see shortly.”

 A great flash of light once again consumed me and once again I found myself sitting on the gnarled roots of the glowing tree. I looked up and found that the orb that was once the spirit in blue took on a different form. 

This orb now had eyes and a small shimmery halo above its head. 

“Are you still the-” The cute little creature nodded its head and started to float around me. I looked at it in amazement. In all my years I have never seen something so unique in my entire life!

“Let’s go!” the little orb enthusiastically squeaked, grabbed me by the collar of my shirt, and carried me off the grown. Here we go again!


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#Spirituality · Alex Speak · Special Causes · World of Psyche · Writing and Poetry

My Prayer for the Lost Souls

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Dear lost souls who roam day and night;

I’m here to guide you with my eternal light.

It is time to break the chains that bound you to this plane;

 It is time to return to the source from whence we came.

Just know that you are not alone.

The cause to suffering is something I refuse to condone.

But, it’s time to let go of the pain you carry in your heart.

We will put all of the pieces back together; the same pieces that were torn apart.

Follow the light of the angels for they know the way.

Regardless of whatever happens, everything will be okay.

Follow the path that sparkles with light.

Once you reach the end, you’ll no longer have to roam by day and night.

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#Spirituality · Alex Speak · Dreams · Synchronicities · Writing and Poetry

Dream Journal: Bridge Crossing Companion

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If I have a dream of someone who I feel close to giving me a helping hand, then what does it mean? Does it mean that we’re meant to be, that our paths have intertwined for a reason? Does it mean that maybe we serve a purpose in each other’s lives? Most importantly, what if we already know this person in real life?

In this dream, I was faced with the same obstacle over and over again. I felt fearful every single time I had to cross a bridge. It didn’t matter what the bridge was made of, where I was going, or what was waiting for me on the other side, I just knew I was afraid to cross every single one of them. Every bridge was made of wooden planks, twine, and rope. Some of the bridges were short while others spanned for a long distance. The bridges lead from different places such as a county flea market which featured tents and small buildings, a dojo on top of a hill which had a moat surrounding it, a simple gas station and automotive store nearby work, and places that had such weird odds and ends. A heavy fog would sit underneath every single bridge I had to cross. I had no idea how far down the fog went, I just knew that I needed to stay away. The thing that stood out to me the most was that there were voices that either encouraged me, discouraged me, or put me down while I was going from one side of the bridge(s) to the other. Sometimes I could see the individuals clearly while with others I could barely see them at all. I remember as I crossed these bridges, planks, people, and even random objects would fall off the bridge(s) I crossed.

One of the last few bridges I crossed led to an area that had the gas station, the automotive store, and a few small concrete buildings around it. One of my coworkers, we’ll call him Marco, who I’ve felt deep feelings for, saw how frightened I was. I cried softly and cowered in fear, explaining to Marco about being afraid to go alone on these bridges. Every bridge I went on felt like an eternity…. now that eternity turned into something else, something better. Marco was very kind to me. He put his arms around me, and came with me as I crossed the bridge. I felt bad at first because he had to drop some of his friends behind just to help me. But, in the end he felt content to do so for he managed to find some things along the way. It was a journey for both of us, a magical journey filled with bright colorful energy and life. Soon I was able to feel more comfortable on these bridges; it took forever for me to get over the fear I was feeling, but I got through it.

I tried to insist on taking on these bridges on my own, but Marco discouraged me from doing it. I thought maybe I was having a vision within a dream or maybe this was already happening, but the dream started to feel kind of distorted. I got onto a bridge and Marco was trying to tell me to get off of it. I started to hear all kinds of voices and saw people run back and forth around the different edges of the bridge. I was starting to feel unsteady when Marco said he would come back for help. I started to fall, but then a light force pulled me back up. It felt like Marco’s energy, but it also felt very benevolent. Maybe it was Marco with a helping hand, or something else. I’m not sure. What I am sure of is that I woke up feeling bewildered… perhaps there is a much deeper meaning to this dream that I thought.

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#Spirituality · Creature Features · Dreams · Special Causes · Writing and Poetry

The Spirit in Blue- Transition and Transformation

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A colossal wave of cosmic light engulfed my whole being. The world that I barely even knew transformed into something that not even my wildest of dreams could manifest.

I don’t know begin to describe how I felt as the light swallowed me whole… thousands of words kept popping up in my mind, and neither one remotely matched this sensation.

Where in the world was this fiery ball of blue taking me? The wave of light dissolved the ground, trees, and sky into dust. The dust swirled around me and within an instant, a new plane of existence was formed. Everything shined of white, silver, and indigo. Chunks of levitating, moons, and smaller planets rotated around one another.

“Hey, spirit orb thingy! Where are we goi-” I pause for a moment as something small caught my eye. “Spirit in blue, where are you taking me?” The small object that appeared in front of me grew in size as we got closer. It was a… tree! A very large one at that. 

The gentle whisper that I heard earlier spoke softly into my ear once again. “The Tree of Transition and Transformation.” 

“The Tree of Transition and Transformation?” I asked intently, but got no answer in return. “Hello?” Still no response.

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The spirit in blue plopped me right between the sporadic roots of this colossal tree. I was in absolute awe when I gazed upon its beauty. It stood several stories high and was bigger than any structure known to man. It’s indigo colored bark fascinated me, I had to get closer up just to see if it was even remotely real. Indeed it was. It felt like the softest fabric I have ever put my hands on. Suddenly, several white and gold colored orbs appeared around me from nowhere. I looked towards the inside of the branches and dozens of multi colored orbs danced around the leaves and twisted vines. I never thought that anything like this could ever exist! Nothing short of a dream or a fairytale; except this isn’t a dream nor a fairytale.

I took a few steps back and sat upon one of the massive roots that were imbedded in the violet colored grass. The spirit in blue swirled around me and hovered a few inches from my right shoulder. I sighed deeply and looked at the spirit in blue who hovered by my side. 

“Is this the answer to my prayers spirit in blue? I feel like the whole world is against me, and I don’t know what to do.” I looked down for a moment, feeling a knot form in my stomach. “Can you understand me.” 

“Yes” said the gentle whisper. I felt a warm presence surround me; it felt like a person who had their arm around my shoulder… but it didn’t entirely feel human. Was it a ghost? An Angel? God? What was it? Nothing? What I DID know was that I could trust this being who was with me.

“I feel so lost man. I don’t know what to do anymore…” The knot in my stomach clenched and my whole body started to shake. I felt a hot coal form in my throat, it burned so much. Warm tears began to ran down my cheeks and I felt myself losing all control. 

The warm presence hugged my shoulders tighter as my emotions broke through the barriers I had held up for so long. In a way, I felt a sense of relief come upon me as I released these emotions. I knew that I was here for a reason, I knew I have purpose in this world. But, what in the world does all of this mean? What is the spirit in blue trying to tell me? Does this blue orb have all the answers to my prayers, better yet my problems?


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Alex Speak · World of Psyche

Confession #4

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“I have had many days where I don’t want to do anything but to eat and sleep. These days of not wanting to get out of bed only occurs in patterns. It wasn’t always like this though, I used to feel like I couldn’t get out of bed nearly 24/7. I am proud to say that this conundrum has improved greatly over time. However, the thing is I STILL have days where I can’t get out of bed. What happens is I end up having so many ideas on all of these things I want and need to do. I pep-talk myself to get up and go do stuff… but there are some days where it just does not work no matter what I do. I’m not ashamed to admit it that I have those days and I know deep down in my heart and soul that I’m not the only one who is struggling with this. I give much love and light to those who are struggling to this very day.”


Please don’t try to do this alone; you don’t have to. You are loved, you are needed, and there is always something to live for. ❤

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Alex Speak · Creature Features · Special Causes · World of Psyche · Writing and Poetry

Stretched- 5 haikus

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Life is filigree

Dark spots show more than light ones.

Sadness is my art.


Is life just a test?

If so, I’m sure I’m failing.

I can restart, right?


I don’t lie dear friend.

What I feel right now is real.

I feel nothingness.


Why do you smile friend?

What is there to smile about?

Please tell me dear friend.


My head is a mess.

Where do I even begin?

Sanity is gone.


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(You don’t have to do this alone… HELP is always within your reach!)

(Please help Depression Army and their noble cause!)

(All credit goes to the original owner(s) of featured image)

Alex Speak · Creature Features · Special Causes · World of Psyche · Writing and Poetry

Fatal

63e4107d1925c588057a05dbb39d3132The true monster lies within my head.

I know damn well that it wants me dead.

I feel as though I’m dangling from a single thread.

Sleep has never really been my thing…

I can’t feel joy whether if I write, dance, or sing.

I don’t want to answer the phone when it rings.

It’s ridiculous, no I’m ridiculous!

Take a good look at me.

What is it that you can see?

Maybe if you tell me the truth then you can set me free.

But I know it cannot be… the only one who can tell the truth is me.


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(Don’t do this alone… HELP is within your reach)

Please help support Depression Army and their good cause!

(all credit goes to the original owner(s) of featured image)