A New Nightmare

1695f403ace239f2cfe559470e186024--heart-of-darkness-creepy-photosMy dearest soulmate and beloved friend…

I am the creator of your biggest nightmares.

Betrayal and lust destroyed this.

You betrayed us all…

You said you would always be there for me no matter what.

You promised that we’d always have each other’s backs.

You told me that you’d stay loyal to me forever… me and only me…

You said you had a special spot saved for me in that ‘heart’ of yours… after I died I saw that you don’t really have a heart.

You disappeared without a trace after I disappeared into the abyss you shoved me into.

Well, I have your ‘heart’ now…. you’re shriveled black hole.

Not a single impression of me has been made upon your ‘heart’. 1eac129b71202885598e54e8a744a07e

I sliced it open just as I did with your neck and skull… you lied to me….

You see what you made me do to you? You shouldn’t have lied… 

You told me we’d be together forever… But, you’re the reason why that promise was broken… You’re the reason why I’m dead. 

Because of me, you’re dead physically, but spiritually you are alive and well. You’re bound to this earth just like me. Now we’ll get to be together forever. You can’t run nor hide…

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7c8225dd25f0503d9f284cbdab8e457eI am colder than you could ever imagine…

I am not the soft sunlight you thought I was.

Death’s kiss isn’t cold enough to describe me.

When I see… I shroud my mind with mist…

When I bite… I burn my tongue… 

When I breathe… I rejoice…

When I embrace… I freeze into the stiff roots…

When I feel… nothing less of an empty void exists.

What am I to the heavens above?


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Blasphemy

 200c9ac825169b04cc9f6571f14113acBlessed be the blackened souls

Lustful for the forbidden ones

Always on the prowl for fresh blood

Seeking for shelter in ribcages of the damned

Peeking through tears where auburn leaks through

Healing only to be knocked down by the divine

Everyone knows who they are.

Meaningless entities who live on without a cause.

You have been warned… no turning back now.


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Loss Frozen Through Thoughts

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Painful thoughts throb in my mind as I drag through the days.

I’m not the same person as I used to be before everything happened. 

I changed after I knew I wasn’t wanted, needed, appreciated, and loved.

The hoops you had me jump wore out my legs, twisted my insides, and drained my spirit.

My heart and soul were bent and twisted to fit the kind of companion you wished for.

Sometimes I was your personal pet that you trained to be your own and no one else’s.

Sometimes I was your scapegoat to take the heat from your mistakes.

Sometimes I was used as a venting tool only when it was needed.

But never a true companion….

My own efforts to succeed beyond the finish line that was made for me went unnoticed.

A single mistake lead to harsh punishments and companion shaming… which led to companion hating.

You chose when to punish me and you chose when to forgive me.

The unconditional love you promised to give to me and all others was a fallacy.

Everyone else in your eyes was either a walking flaw or a soul who could do no wrong.

You could never see the pain you have caused, nor the damage that was done to me.

My world became shrouded in darkness for all to see.

Thoughts and feelings of sorrow froze into a nonstop neverending loop of madness.

Any spot of sunlight in my life appeared to be vile and obscene in your eyes.

One day I grabbed a sunspot and wrapped it around my body.

I let the light lift me up even when you attempted to grab my feet and pull me down.

I decided that I wanted to change and go to the next level.

I changed for the better. 

I changed to embrace a new tomorrow. 

You didn’t come with me.

You didn’t grow and flourish like how you said you would.

You didn’t wish for me to be happy or succeed.

You didn’t want to be happy and instead wished for pain on others.

You didn’t want to wish for a better tomorrow.

You didn’t want to be my true companion.

Life didn’t seem to work out in the way I wanted it to.

Unfortunately it just had to be this way.

Patches of old thoughts have yet to thaw out today, but for the most part it is Spring in my mind.

I still miss the old memories, the long laughs, the warm smiles, and times that were good to each other. 

But I can’t miss you, wish for your return, nor have you in my life again.

It has to be this way for the both of us.

I won’t question that.

I’m ready for a new tomorrow.

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Colorful Affirmations 7

Is it really worth hanging on to the past? Especially when it no longer serves a certain purpose in your life. Nope. If it no longer serves a purpose, let it go and leave it where it lies.

I’m not saying that at the snap of your fingers that ‘it’s all gone’ or ‘presto!’ you’ve fully let it go like that. No, its just a work in progress. Its easier said and done, but the simplest thing to start out with this process is slowly breathing in the new and exhaling the old.

Continue going forward to affirm this and or something like this in nature: “I will no longer let my past block my path to success. I am letting this go, sending it to the universe for transmutation. Its time for ‘out with the old’ and ‘in with the new’.”

Time will pass, you will go on, grow and change. Nothing can stop you know except for your head. It won’t get the best of you. Have faith and keep eyes peeled for doors of opportunity getting ready to open.

Lots of love and light as always.

Alex

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