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Randomness Weird-Crazy-Perhaps Scary World of Psyche Writing and Poetry

Shallow Wrist Doctor

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Thank Christ you have come for me.

Insert the decadent nectar into my skin.

I can’t live within my whole shell, I’m not clean.

I cannot return to my kin.

Forgive me dear doctor for I have committed the worst blessings with no sins.

I’m not sick enough for my dearest master.

Rip open my splintered bones, splice my cells, sync my neurons, split my tissue.

Give me more, give me more, give me more!!!

I need it, I feel it, I crave it, you love it.

They stare at me as I sleep, its hurts so good.

Your hands on my head arouse me so much.

Press harder on my skull please.

Harder… harder… harder…

I can’t die.

I CAN’T DIE!!!!

Categories
Alex Speak Randomness World of Psyche Writing and Poetry

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7c8225dd25f0503d9f284cbdab8e457eI am colder than you could ever imagine…

I am not the soft sunlight you thought I was.

Death’s kiss isn’t cold enough to describe me.

When I see… I shroud my mind with mist…

When I bite… I burn my tongue… 

When I breathe… I rejoice…

When I embrace… I freeze into the stiff roots…

When I feel… nothing less of an empty void exists.

What am I to the heavens above?


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(all credit goes to the original owner(s) of featured image)

 

 

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Alex Speak Artwork Randomness Weird-Crazy-Perhaps Scary

Anger Written on Pages

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My heart mourns today.

I need to clean out my thoughts.

They’re made of old dust.

My wings feel so heavy now.

Made of steel and rust.

Rust comes from rotten decay.

Pure anger scalds me.

I refuse to lift my head.

I pray for the day.

I pray for the end of pain.

Specifically mine.

Darkness is my clear path now.

I miss the light path.

I wish I had the answers.

The answers to heal.

I wish for a fuller heart.

My needs are endless.

My halo excretes old sludge.

My head feels heavy.

The chicken scratch surrounds me.

They reflect my thoughts.

This world is cold.

I feel cold all on my own.

Icy hands and feet.

Burning heat from within me.

When will this game end?

I am forever immortal.

This was not my choice.

But the anger was my choice.

There’s no turning back.

Forward march my friend.

-Alex

 

Categories
Alex Speak World of Psyche Writing and Poetry

Letter to Dearest

Here’s to the one who gave me my wings;

I hope you’re fucking happy.

I hope you’re fucking smiling with glee.

I can still feel your thoughts drilling through the tender fabric stitches that keeps my head attached to my spine.

I have blatantly forgotten what pure joy means.

You created me with insight, intuition, empathy, and love.

All of these things I sought out for the answers.

I hoped I could help others.

I hoped I could make a difference.

I hoped I could keep others safe and sound.

I hoped I could assure others that everything would be ok.

Success from this plan has always fallen sort.

You were supposed to guide me on my life’s path.

You were supposed to be there.

You were supposed to help open my eyes to the divine truth.

People run from me in pure horror without a second glance.

Countless times my insight and intuition created conflict and turmoi;.

The more I knew and wished to share, the more people cowered in my presence.

I can feel their petrifying fear relentlessly slashing and scraping out every bit of my soul.

Never taken seriously… my messages fell on deaf ears.

Treated like a malevolent being covered in black tar and puss.

All of the things I have seen have made my eyes burn from the inside out.

Not even gouging my eyes out would make it all go away.

The sensations I get haunt me.

A flood of vividly colored ghosts that never go away once expressed and cleared.

Good or bad ghosts feel the same to me now.

I am so jaded, beyond the deepest, darkest, blackest shade.

I’ve reached out to others out of pure, divine, and infinite love.

I reach out with the burning passion that ignites every fiber of my being.

I reveal what lays underneath my wings.

I reveal the gifts you gave me.

I reveal the gates of truth that have been presented to me to show unto others.

Gentle or harsh pictures within solid frames flip through my mind like a 3D book.

It’s almost as if I’m there within the pictures that I see.

Not a movie goer within the seats, but an actor within the film itself.

I burst and fall down in flames the longer these sensations stay within my being.

The ones who receive the visions give me things that I did not expect to see.

They give me fear as I project love.

They give me grief as I reflect the light which sadly seems to blind them.

They give me avoidance as I reach out of love.

They give me reluctant looks as I reveal my truest revelations.

They reject my entire being when it’s just too much to bare.

Some have called me evil.

Some have deliberately struck back at me like as if I was a merciless predator.

Some have called my way of life as sinful and forbidden to the great scriptures.

Almost all run away from me.

Almost all who don’t run detach themselves from me.

Almost all pretend I that don’t exist.

Almost all believe that what I perceive is mere fantasy.

Almost all who wish to dive in further only cut me loose and run.

Seldom wish to stay around.

Seldom wish to dive any further for the truth.

Seldom continue to love me the way they did before.

I fear the ones I’ve reached out to the most.

I fear they refuse to see the truth within.

No one will understand the pain as they throb like fresh whip lashings.

Shamed like an old soggy dog only to be kicked in the gut then falls to the ground.

The ones with the deepest connections with me are lying.

The ones with the deepest connections cower in fear.

The ones that matter the most is the most dangerous one of all.

One as Intuitive as I yet seemingly so hard for me read.

One whose energy rotates with a simple flip of a die.

That die rotates to one flat surface to the same one in the end of a flip.

A curious one who wants to know more, growing to understand.

One that sees me as an enigma, always thirsty for more.

One of the many who I’ve opened up my wings to.

One who has seen the light, but finds to only be somewhat adjusting.

I can feel these thoughts shredding me apart.

Like once too many times before it seems that I opened my wingspan too far this time.

Now I fear maybe since perhaps I made a fatal mistake this time.

I can feel these thoughts shredding me apart.

I can feel my fear drilling their fangs into my heart.

Their tiny little incisions drain me dry of life.

I run for cover, for protection, for safety. 

You told me that this was right way to go.

You told me to tell them all the truth.

You told me that everything is going to be alright.

Despite expressing imbalances, there is the one who always asks for more.

I cannot undo this damned curse that’s ripping me apart.

I know in the end I will find myself alone again.

I ran to protect my light.

The same light that killed them all.

The one who I thought I scared the most only wants to see more of the truth within me.

But how can that be?

Regardless, many have hated me, forgotten me, abused me, rejected me.

All because of the intuition and insight you gave to me.

I had enough of my ‘gifts’.

I hated how my gifts made them all run.

It’s a progressing and regressing infinite loop between hatred and love.

Now look at the monster you have created.

Now look at me.

I have ruined everything that I have ever touched.

I no longer just love you, I hate you too.

I am not the one you need.

I hate you. I love you.

I can feel the visions and the thoughts ripping me apart.

Ripping me apart.

This is the light?

This is the truth?

I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you.

This light is my curse and my blessing.

I hate you. I love you. I love you. I hate you.

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(all credit goes to original owner(s) of featured media)

 

Categories
Alex Speak Weird-Crazy-Perhaps Scary

Wrath the Sacred Sinner

I see you’ve stumbled upon my domain.

Prepare yourself for I have a tale that has surpassed the ages.

My heart is an empty void of burning anger and hatred.

Apathy is my true best friend.

I hate everything and everyone on this god forsaken planet.

It’s not true what they say about my anger, or anger generally.

It’s not true that it drains me more than anything else.

It’s not true that it hurts me more than others.

I refuse to accept it.

Anger drives me to success every single time.

I get a rise feeling the rage fill every single particle of my being.

I even feel a sweet sense of satisfaction of spreading my wrath onto others.

Seeing wrath in others arouses me to my core.

The folks that constantly feel that acidic void taking over makes me feel more at home with them.

However, most people are not like that.

Generally, people are just so fucking stupid.

Everything that they do, say, think, and are makes me want to kill them all.

Tear them to pieces like paper in a shredder. 

Suffering and pain drowns out my own the white noise that keeps me up at night.

Listening to their screams in pain is like feeling the sensation of sinking my teeth into the most decadent sweets that exists in this world. 

I don’t pity the ones who are in pain.

They don’t deserve it. 

They don’t deserve your love or my love.

Love never existed within me so that wipes out that even being a miniscule possibility.

I’ve always been cold like this towards others as well as myself.

The people all around me have made me this way.

Alas, that doesn’t mean anything to me anymore.

You’re still huh?

Regardless about how you feel about my words…

All I want to do is see you suffer.

-Alex

(all credit goes to original owner(s) of featured media)