Bloodied Rust

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Don’t chase after your nightmares; they might chase after you.

I chased the wrong kind of dreams, and now they’re chasing me. 

I can’t stop them; they’re inflicting irreversible pain unto me.

They have come for me and I know it.

Their claw marks burn and their bites make me ache.

I drown the dying screams with synthetic happiness. 

It’s stitched with fake love and patched with false hope.

The nightmare breeders tear the stitches apart and swallow the patches whole.

Tears can’t cleanse the bloodied rust from the walls. 

Don’t be like me.

Chase your dreams, not your nightmares.

Or else your nightmares will chase you.

Hope must exist somewhere.

Why?

Because I’m still living.

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Letter To Dearest- Disasterpiece

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Here I am once again my Dearest;

I am here writing to you once again great disasterpiece creator.

I motherfucking hope that you are happy.

Will my overall being suffice? Or does my vile nature do that.

The nature you imbedded in my feet, gnarling barbed roots twisting into the mud, reaching towards the core.

Bounded to the love you gave me to use… I can still feel it pumping in my veins. 

The fibers of my veins erode away from its acidic effects.

It seeps into my skin and reflects outwards into my aura.

My insides burn infinitely from the blinded rage within.

All that exists has gouged out eyes and drilled through eardrums. 

The walking blind, the crawling deaf, the flying dead, the jaded ones.

Why did you create me dearest? For what purpose? I refuse to believe what it could be.

I’ve heard this all before and before and before that and before them.

Before they came, before they appeared, before they spoke, before they listened.

Before it all began. Before my existence. Before all.

Hell is real. She laughs at our expense. She is aroused by our sorrows.

She’s not a devil, nor a demon, nor a being. She’s in your head. 

Hell exists within our minds alone. Her entity exists in our minds.

The Divine Exists too… he watches me, he follows me, he guides me.

Blinding, morphing, creating, changing…

She smiles in my presence… The Divine smiles in my presence…

What the fuck do you want from me?

You won’t singe me, nor save me.

But now it’s just me… who else?

With me… no one other than my ‘divine’ presence. 

I’m no savior, no saint, no prophet, no healer… nothing.

I am the disasterpiece.

I am your disasterpiece.

You’re welcome.


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(all credit goes to the original owner(s) of featured image)

Blessed Be

Blessed be the gifted

Blessed be the gifted and

Blessed be the gifted and loved

Blessed be the gifted and loved liars

Blessed be the gifted and loved liars of

Blessed be the gifted and loved liars of the

Blessed be the gifted and loved liars of the blackest

Blessed be the gifted and loved liars of the blackest void

Blessed be the gifted and loved liars of the blackest void of

Blessed be the gifted and loved liars of the blackest void of the 

Blessed be the gifted and loved liars of the blackest void in the universe

Blessed be the gifted and loved liars of the blackest void in the universe… you

Blessed be the gifted and loved liars of the blackest void in the universe… you are

Blessed be the gifted and loved liars of the blackest void in the universe… you are fucked.

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Can’t stand me huh? Can’t get me out of your head? Can’t control me?

Good. Let’s keep it this way. 

The mundane grey left me feeling bored anyway. Lets add some blood to the mix and see how this goes.

Can’t lock me up. Can’t put me down. Can’t resist my manipulation. Can’t…. stand… me…..

I love it when you scream and moan in agony. I love seeing pain seep through your skin.

I love seeing the pain from others you caused being drained from you, leech. 

I can’t die. I don’t sleep. I won’t stop. 

Let’s keep the ball rolling ladies and gentlemen.

Rolling… skidding… flipping… yes….

You brought this on to us you know?

Causing others to feel tormented for your own guilty pleasures… 

Now do you see why I…. oh excuse me, we are here? If not, why don’t you let me remind you… bitch

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(all credit goes to the original owner(s) of featured media)

Chilled

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Cast my body;

Hold me between a time flux.

It’s for my own well being.

Love is as precious as sharp ice.

Loneliness bares the dastardly curse of the sun.

Everything shines clear underneath a sheet of ice.

Death cannot keep its grip on me if I’m frozen below the sheet casted around me.

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(all credit goes to the original owner(s) of featured image)

Mitchell’s Mumblings: Only in America- Share

Originally posted on Mitchell’s Mumblings: Only in America Only in America- Do we have opportunity to worship God freely, But our churches are empty ? Only in America- We have the right to free speech But don’t control our anger and we riot ? Only in America- We claim “all lives matter” But we…

via Only in America… — johncoyote

Dream Journal: The Dream I Wish to Forget

I hate this dream. I hate it with a passion. I wish I never had it. It just reminds me how much the ego and the mind can really get to you sometimes. Anyway, moving on.

I cannot quite remember where this dream started. What I can remember being on a porch that sat on an endless grassy field that stretched for what seemed an eternity. I had Laurie, my best friend and a link to my soul family standing in front of me. She was smiling and looking towards me as we remained silent. I could recall the smell of steak and other foods sizzling on the barbecue. It smelled amazing. Then all of a sudden a flash of a computer screen, an old boxy square one from the early 2000’s was right in front of me. I was sitting within a dark bedroom and I was chatting with dear Laurie online. We were having a fight of some sorts, I’m not too sure what about though. Its almost like as if part of me was enraging and ranting over nothing, but deep within myself I was dying. I wanted it to stop. One of my worst fears came true, Laurie told me she was going to block me and that we will never speak or see each other again. She also went talking about how she was going to go enjoy time with other people in my life. I remember screaming and crying at the stupid screen. I held my face and kept screaming “NO!” and “Why!?”. Someone came into frame and tried to gently pull me away from the computer. I was reluctant, but then eventually walked away from the computer.

All of a sudden, the computer flashed and my vision went back and forth between the screen of the computer, the grassy porch, and the inside of an open floor home seeing Laurie getting ready to serve a plate of food inside. There were a few others in there as well, but I could not tell who they were. Still feeling lost, disdained, and confused with the flashing imagery in my head. I grabbed towards one of them as the person who tried to pull me away from the computer said “NO! Hey, wait, what are you doing?”. What was interesting was that his presence never left even though I went through the portal. I was transported to the same open floor house where Laurie resided. I was frantic, yet relieved and excited to see her. She was happy to see me as always, and so was another gentleman who was there, different from the person who stayed behind me the whole time. I broke down and told Laurie what had happened and how upset I was, and she had absolutely no idea what I was talking about. I told her about the online chat and being blocked, there was one thing that she said that made a chill run up my spine. “Dear, that wasn’t me. I didn’t block you on Facebook or anywhere for that fact.” I asked who did, she shrugged and said “It was probably someone else dear, I don’t know.” A joke was thrown in there about a doppleganger. It made my blood run cold.

 

Laurie walked off with a gentle breeze and carefree demeanor into the outdoor yard. I asked where she was going, but then she disappeared. I had the view of a sliding glass door which had the view of a massive pool surrounded by columns, marble, and greenery. I heard a noise and ran to the left. The whole house morphed into what felt my old childhood home and something from a nightmare. A creepy old lady came up to me and asked what my business was, than told me to beware of the dark shadows and monsters that lurk the house at night. A dog-like monster ran past her and she pulled out a shotgun then loaded it. She told me not to worry and ran off with a loud ‘Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I’ll get ya fucker if its the last thing I do! Come here you little dirty rat dogs! I’ll get ya!’ and some other weird nonsense. The dogs didn’t seem to pay too much attention to me, even when I tried to stop them, they just nipped at me without physically touching me then running off. I saw flashes off so many strange things in my head, but couldn’t keep track of what they were. That concludes the dream I wish to forget.