Confession #4

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“I have had many days where I don’t want to do anything but to eat and sleep. These days of not wanting to get out of bed only occurs in patterns. It wasn’t always like this though, I used to feel like I couldn’t get out of bed nearly 24/7. I am proud to say that this conundrum has improved greatly over time. However, the thing is I STILL have days where I can’t get out of bed. What happens is I end up having so many ideas on all of these things I want and need to do. I pep-talk myself to get up and go do stuff… but there are some days where it just does not work no matter what I do. I’m not ashamed to admit it that I have those days and I know deep down in my heart and soul that I’m not the only one who is struggling with this. I give much love and light to those who are struggling to this very day.”


Please don’t try to do this alone; you don’t have to. You are loved, you are needed, and there is always something to live for. ❤

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Soul Death Composition

Fallen_angelI have forgotten everything.

Existence itself has become ever so fickle to me.

What does this thing called existence mean?

I can’t remember anything beyond suffering.

My mind has forgotten what exists beyond the clouds.

Is there anything that exists beyond the clouds in my head?

I have forgotten what it was like to be me when I felt alive and whole.

I have been forgotten along with the many other broken souls who lie before me.

We have been left behind within the distant endless swirls of rusty grey dust and ash.

The composition of love is a complex concept for those who have sealed their hearts to avoid the cruel.

The formula of creating the death of a soul is the blackness from unforgiveness, hatred, and unrelenting malice.

Is there hope for the fallen? Is there hope for the broken? Is there hope for the lost? Is there hope for the lonely? Is there hope for the hated? Is there hope for the forgotten?

Yes.


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(NOTE: There is unity, comfort, and support that can be found by confiding in others. Don’t do this alone. You don’t have to do this alone. Help awaits no matter where you are in the world.)

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Sick from the Wasted Mind

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Here I sit at the edge of the Archangel of Death’s domain once again. Dammit I really just couldn’t help myself this time. 

Smoke it, snort it, drink it, shoot it, consume it, fuck it, abuse it, feel it….

I hit up whatever makes me feel high in the sky despite the cost.

How can a substance be so bad if it just makes you feel so good?

Even if that good only lasts for a few moments….. isn’t that better than feeling nothing at all? The pain and agony that I feel from life is just too much.

Please, I just need a quick fix, just an escape, a pick me up, something… Make me feel like I’m on cloud nine all over again.

Hangovers, nausea, shattered ear drums, panic attacks, migraines, delusions, hallucinations, infections and so much more don’t phase me.

I have given up my family, my friends, my job, my home, my belongings, my money, my life, everything. I’m willing to trade it all for the gates to cloud nine.

The endless bright colors, magical ones with their wise eyes upon mine, no gravity, no pain, the euphoria… my whole body burns when I come upon cloud nine.

Now I sit at the gates’ edge as I watch my lifeless body below.

People cry and scream as they try to shake me awake from my wasted mind. People who I assumed hated me for what I did.

Forgive me. 


Drug abuse is a major problem in the U.S. and worldwide. No illegal/legal substance is worth sacrificing your friends, family, belongings, home, as well as your life for. For more information on drugs and drug abuse, you can check out Drug Free World or National Institute of Health on Drug Abuse.

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15 Things You Can Do Instead of Self-Harm

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There truly is always something to live for, believe it or not. Life has so many beautiful quirks and meaningful things to cherish for years to come. Instead of causing yourself unnecessary harm, you can:

  1. Take a bite of chocolate (yum)
  2. Soak in a hot, bubbly, mineral bath
  3. Light a candle
  4. Watch a scary movie
  5. Share a laugh with friends
  6. Jump into a freshly made bed
  7. Meditate on loving topics
  8. Hug a friend or loved one
  9. Play music loud and proud
  10. Draw a colorful picture
  11. Bake some cookies
  12. Send a heart warming letter to a relative
  13. Start a new project
  14. Burn some incense
  15. Read an enticing novel

As hard as life can be, don’t give up, don’t give in, and remember that YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE. =)

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Learning How to Love Yourself

781b1f2df6fb7faab38ff6b051a2698f          Learning to be comfortable within our own skin is a challenge that a good majority of people will experience during the course of their lives. I myself and many other people that I know are still learning this important skill. However, in 2016 and years passed, there is still one issue that has recently been coming up lately: body shaming.

The truth is the media can be a pretty nasty place. It is full of things that portray false realities, propaganda, scams, spam, to relentless cyberbullies. Stories of body shaming have been infesting the internet and media. The rate of body shaming cases has been rising at a steady pace, majority of the people on the receiving end being women of all ages.

I’m here to honestly say, enough of the bull shit. In one of my previous posts, I talked about how we cannot judge others by our standards because individually we are our own beautifully designed, unique, lovely being. Comparing yourself to another person is like comparing ice cream to Nutella. Like us as individuals, Nutella and ice cream (along with many other things) are different in their own unique, creative, beautiful (and delicious) way. It is no different than one, two, or three individuals. We are on our own path in life and differ in ways that actually help us connect more than we could understand. The things that makes us different in reality is what makes us unique. Looking past it, on the inside, we are all interconnected as one.

Who has time for petty arguments, drama, hatred, bullying, and body shaming? I personally don’t. This is really not as easy as it sounds, but when/if you find yourself in a situation where you are being bullied, put down, attacked, or body shamed: just know that you are beautiful, amazing, and wonderful just the way you are. The things that are said/done towards you by others is NOT a reflection of them, but it is a PROJECTION HOW THEY FEEL ABOUT THEMSELVES. If they say this isn’t the truth, they are not being truthful. I sometimes struggle with this with thoughts like “Is it me that caused them to treat me this way?” or “Is it something I said/did?”, in the end I feel that in my heart the answer is NO. I also wanted to make this note: Don’t be afraid to reach out for help or support!

The opinions of others and the way they see you doesn’t matter, YOU MATTER. Doing what makes you happy and being happy with yourself is all that matters.

I’m sending much love and light to you all! ❤

-Alex

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Being Mindful

It is simple: treat others the way you want to be treated. Right? Why make it more complicated than it actually is? Why is there a need to be nasty and hateful towards others? THERE ISN’T 

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I’ve had more than my fair share of bullying at work, school, on the internet, etc. The truth is: before you jump to judge a person, take a REALLY good look at who they are before jumping to any conclusions, EVEN if they are a bully.

Here are some things to consider: What kinds of things are going on in their personal daily lives (home, work, school, family, friends, etc)? Do you know this person personally? (Even if you do, there might be some things you might not know that is going on in their lives). Have you tried looking at things from their perspective; ‘spending a day in their shoes’? Have you given this person 3 official chances (its possible they might be having a bad day, or week, or maybe something is going on. Inspired by Rachel’s Challenge)

If you haven’t tried any of these things, I suggest you give it a go. Judging others like as if everyone was like you will have you end up no where. Everyone deserves a chance, despite anything they could have done. Think twice before making a judgment on someone else before knowing the facts.

Please, be compassionate, show love to others, and give others a chance,. If they can’t do these things in return, be the bigger person and show love and compassion anyway.

-Alex

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10 Anti-self harm Go To’s

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       We all struggle. That is a part of life. Whether it be with the monotonous day-to-day stuff like school, work, relationships, friends, family, or other things in life (i.e. bullying, peer pressure, tension between others, health based issues, etc) can be bumpy and can leave you imbalanced. Some may feel as though that ‘god isn’t being there for me (others)’, or karma is ‘biting me in the ass’, or ‘life sucks’. When things get tough, whether it be radical life changes, ongoing stressors, or combination of both, can often lead one to feel; unmotivated, angry, depressed, jaded, burned out, tired, or maybe even confused. Unfortunately, these factors can lead to unwanted thoughts/feelings, unhealthy habits, as well as destructive tendencies. Without much explanation, here are some ways to either cope, de-stress, and or use energy in other productive ways.

1: Do what you love, and love what you do. Ergo, do what makes YOU Happy. (What makes you happy? Art, music, writing, singing, dancing, gaming, running, hiking, swimming, biking, building, mechanics, science, spirituality, so on? Do it!)

2. If you are feeling out of whack, it’s good to keep balanced in ALL ways: physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. This isn’t always easy, but taking steps, creating and setting goals, and doing things like going for a 10 minute walk a few times a week or planning out meals for the day/week helps. (Also, moderation is key!)

3. Back to the mental and emotional health part: writing in a journal daily, taking an allotted chunk of your day for ‘me time’, hot baths/showers, stretching and yoga, meditating, etc are some ways to help the psyche.

4. When you’re feeling restless or bored, hang out with a friend! See a movie, have a cup of coffee, go for a walk, go shopping, or just hang out and talk. (Also spending lots of time outside is a good way to cleanse your mind, ground/center yourself, and de-stress. That can include gardening, reading a book under a tree, meditating, exercising, etc.)

5. Speaking of friends, family, loved ones, or those you trust, don’t be afraid to reach out! If you’re feeling lost, don’t know what to do, looking for advice, or just need to vent, talking to someone you trust does the trick (just make sure you put out there what you NEED, like if you need to vent or need advice to save confusion or potential conflict).

6. I must also add if you have an emergency in any way, shape, or form, get a hold of a crisis center and or hotline, please call 911, go to the emergency room. YOUR LIFE MATTERS. ALL LIVES MATTER!

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7. If it doesn’t feel good/right to you, don’t do it. No need to fight your intuition, or ‘gut’. It is there for a reason, you can trust it.

8. As hard as this might be, and MANY people struggle with this: DO NOT put yourself down, judge yourself, compare yourself to others, and or punish yourself in any way, shape, or form.  You yourself are a unique, beautiful, blessed being. Everything about yourself (flaws included) makes you WHO YOU ARE. That within itself is beautiful. You are own your own path in life, and there are no right(s) or wrong(s) on YOUR path, just lessons, learning experiences, and growth. (Others have their own life path as well as their own strengths, weaknesses, beliefs, dreams, etc. There is no way that you can compare yourself to another person because you two are on different paths! It is like comparing a banana to ice cream).

9. Always show gratitude to yourself and others. The more we appreciate, cherish, and hold dear to our hearts, the more loving intentions and light we send to people/things that really DO matter. AND it also opens the door to abundance and greater love in our lives. (In reality, as crappy as one situation might be, maybe it is happening for a reason! It might be hard to see at first, but there are ups and downs to everything).

10. Always remember that any form of bullying is their negative views, opinions, thoughts, and feelings about THEMSELVES, being projected onto you. (Also remember that bullies are also bullied more likely than not. It doesn’t make it right by all means, but adding awareness to the matter can help stop the vicious cycle).

I send much love and light to you. In the end, everything will work itself out and everything will be OK. =)

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