Maybe…

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“Maybe it’s not bad.”

Darkness is not a bad thing.

To me, it’s soothing.

“Maybe it’s something we need.”

Can you see the stars?

The darkness ignites the stars.

They outshine the sun.

“Maybe we should embrace it.”

Not maybe, we do.

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The Spirit in Blue

192684a88cea21951add7c6aa8745e0fI have lost track of all the days I have wandered aimlessly, eyes drained of tears and body depleted of energy.

My heart tells me to keep going, but my mind tells me to back down, give up.

The dreams of the fallen have shattered in front of my eyes.

Like their dreams, my heart broke along with themI lost myself.

I lost myself only to be found again. I found myself in the spirit in blue.

I stumbled upon a blue orb in the grass today.

Infinite beauty is she. Balanced power adds he.

It was as though the orb was there, waiting for me the whole entire time.

Am I really worthy of the orb’s eternal power?

As I stood in the early evening dusk on my skin I felt something, perhaps a gentle breeze whirr past my ear… “Take the orb my dear, it is yours”. 

A great jolt of energy shot up from my feet through my head. With every fiber of my being ignited, I knew exactly what needed to be done.

I swiftly grabbed the orb from the grass and ran off with it into the twilight.

To be continued…

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Dream Journal- “Yeah, I know, I’ve got your girl! What are you going to do about it?”

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Have you ever had one of those dreams that comes when you go back to sleep after sleeping for a while? Well, this is one of those kinds of dreams. Despite the fact that I can vividly remember my dreams majority of the time, I tend to have trouble remembering dreams if I have them when I go back to sleep. Here is the dream I had!

The first few moments of the dream are a little bit fuzzy. I could recall barely seeing a couple co-workers, a person or two that I dated in the past, and a few others whom I have never met before. There was a mesh of colors and lights for a while until I found myself and a few others on this dirt path by a small lake which faced a massive castle. It was beginning to get dark and stormy as a crack of thunder and lightning could be heard and seen in the distance. One of my managers, whom we will call Greg, nudged me and a few others to head into the castle. I could recall seeing many orbs, flying sparkles, and even elemental spirits flying about.

We went into the castle with which it’s interior kept changing. People started to separate into groups who searched around the castle. Doors would appear and disappear, spirits of the dead and odd creatures fluttered about. The floor remained at a constant color of red and black checkerboard. The ceiling was the stormy sky that was above us, yet no rain came down upon us. Was it maybe an illusion? A magical effect of some sort? The walls morphed from castle brick, to being painted white, to intricate victorian era design. Wall decor and objects in the halls changed around as well. In fact, some of these inanimate objects would come to life. A bust of an older man came to life and started to talk. I couldn’t quite understand what it said to me.

The one person in the dream that I used to date started changing forms constantly and so did a few others. I remember feeling like I was standing right by him, but in reality I wasn’t even there. I realized this to be the case when others in our niche didn’t even notice that I was there. I found that I was observing him and Greg from an odd angle. Greg took the guy I used to date and pushed him through a door. The door was filled with blackness and thunder and lightning briefly lit up through the door. Greg walked off to the left and absolutely disappeared while a few others went off in a completely different direction.

I found myself standing in the morphing hallway when another co-worker, we’ll call him Sean, called me over to what appeared to be a slightly outdated computer lab. Another person or two was in there, they were old classmates from my grade school years. Like the rest of the hall, the computer lab changed. Old computers were getting switched out with newer ones out of thin air, a green chalkboard appears only to be replaced by a white one. The desks and tables continue to change and upgrade around us. In the meantime during these changes to the classroom, Sean talked about himself briefly, but then starts engaging me by talking about my future, the ever changing walls of the castle, and my own well being. We start getting closer and closer to one another. Light orbs, color forms of energy, and light beings begin to come into the classroom and begin to create a portal of light in the white dry erase board. We kissed and held each other affectionately when all of a sudden, the thing that used to be the guy that I dated was a complete stranger… and I emphasize strange!

No one recognized him, not even Greg. It was like he was invisible to everyone else. I could see through the door he went through and it was a dismal. There was two rows of stairs, one on the left and the other upside down in the sky. The background was an endless dark sky with very dark colors. He was short, wearing medieval attire, spoke in a silly accent, and tried to manipulate me to join him on some journey that involved Unicorns. Sean called me over and wrapped his arms around me very tightly. It felt so real too! Sean and the silly shorty went at it with one on one. The shorty tried to argue with Sean who basically said, “Look, I know I’ve got your girl! What are you going to do about it? It’s over! Go on! Move on!” Eventually the shorty closed the door and walked away. The morphing hallway started to settle down into a solid structure and the pull towards the portal of light got stronger. Sean asked if I was okay and I responded saying I was. We got more affectionate until the light engulfed us, ending the dream.

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Dream Journal: Werewolves and School Lessons in a Cemetery

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Bare with me when I say that this dream is extremely difficult to describe. It’s even more difficult for me to describe how I feel in regards to this oddball dream. There’s nothing more to it than that.

So, the dream starts off with what seems to be entering different locations, almost like entering different dimensions per door I walk through. I go from a hallway which looked like it belonged to a school, very similar in nature to the college I am currently attending, but with a bit more of a white wash with green lockers on the walls. The next room I enter is a highway that goes through a small town which was surrounded with flat farmland. Eventually it led me to a bizarre cemetery.

This is no ordinary cemetery (of course it’s not an ordinary cemetery, when are my dreams anything ordinary?) it existed in a dimension of space and time where it was constantly shifting, changing, morphing, and rotating. I could recall working with the ghosts of children who passed over 200 years ago to help stop the growing of the mound. There were many other human and animal spirits who roamed around the cemetery as well. The mound that was in the middle of the cemetery that began to grow over time. Even the other parts of the cemetery morphed into anything from classrooms, open reception rooms, and the view of the top row of an indoor amphitheater which faced an old-fashioned stage. My goal was to work with the restless spirits to reconnect with their loved ones, move on into the light, and heal so they can rest peacefully. With every soul I helped, the more that the land of the cemetery would heal. Patches of dried earth, decrepid tombstones, and dead greenery were fully restored.

However, the mound turned into a massive wall of broken earth, trees, graves, and human spirits that made the wall glow between the cracks of the broken earth. Soon the land that surrounded the cemetery briefly turned into the streets which were not too far away from my home. The sky was overcast, the sidewalk was lined with perfectly shaped trees, and a variety of small and medium buildings surrounded the area. Everything seemed to be oddly clean. I quickly got into action, jumped upon the mound, and destroyed bit by bit with my bare hands. Some pieces were broken off by the light of my own heart. The restless spirits of the mound screamed at me as their own fort they built was destroyed. When I finished destroying the mound, I stared at them and told them they needed to move on. The spirits began to go to the left which led back into the old country highway.

Suddenly the cemetery morphed into the amphitheater that briefly disappeared during the whole ordeal of smashing the mound. I remember walking back and forth between a classroom filled with blue light from a projector, to a red carpeted hallway were some teens reached out to me for help, which in reality they really didn’t need my help. I reached the amphitheater where I could see an open door which led to a street on the left side of the stage. I got on the stage and was immediately pounced by a werewolf. It wasn’t any ordinary werewolf, it was one of my old teachers. I was frightened, thinking that this creature was going to tear me apart, but in reality the creature licked my face and was affectionate just like any beloved canine would. I felt a flash of warm, pink and red energy cover me as this happened. This happened several times when I was on the stage. The creature would pounce onto me and others would try to stop the werewolf. The werewolf tried to attack other people and I tried to stop him. But then I found myself turning into a werewolf. I felt free from the things that held me back. All of my problems seemed to have vanished. I howled and ran after the werewolf whom presumed to be one of my teachers.

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Note: I now have a Patreon and Paypal! Any extra love and support that is given to help me on my journey will always be appreciated. Thank you so much for helping me on my journey!

Dream Journal: Suicide or Escape

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This is the third time that I have had this dream now, and this time I can fully recall all of the details of this dream. Within the span of about 3-4 months I have had this same exact dream, with the exception of certain aspects of the dream emphasized per dream occurrence. Everything about this dream felt so trippy and unreal, and yet at the same time crystal clear. I must have been in some sort of trance in the dream, if that’s even possible.

Here are a couple interesting things about this dream: Three places were heavily focused on in the dream (which I will describe shortly), but why 3 specific places? Also, a few of the same people from work have showed up in this dream just like how they have before. For example, Ty has shown up in not just one dream, but in several dreams such as the Pyramid Dream and Vulnerabilities and Tattoos Dream.

On with the dream! I found myself in my hometown, specifically at my parents house. Ty and another coworker was patrolling the neighborhood which, oddly he did so for my safety. It was late and the only thing that illuminated the streets were the orange glow of street lamps and a couple lights that were on in front of my parent’s house. It also was made apparent that there was a random Target down the street. LITERALLY in the middle of the street too. Ty came by on my street specifically and my parents and I waved hello. He stopped by to see if everything was okay and if we needed anything. My mom harshly stopped Ty in his tracks to complain about the poor treatment of raccoons and other animals that lived our neighborhood. Ty pulled me aside and in almost a whisper, asked me what that was about. I had absolutely no idea! My mom then chimed in and said a very snarky, nasty comment about work that I could not hear, but made apparent to Ty that I did something I wasn’t supposed to, which I wasn’t sure what I did, in fact. The lights of the house and the street lamps began to move and change color. I overheard another co-worker coming and then something about my job possibly being on the line.

My head was a major mess. I kept thinking about work, home, school, family life, and past trauma and problems that suddenly were brought forward by this statement. I wanted to run, I wanted to hide, I wanted to be out of the spotlight, alone. I felt the eyes of my parents on me and a few others as other people could be heard in the distance. I bodly said to Ty that I wished to die, I wished for suicide. I began to cry and I ran off where others could not see me. I could magically manifest wings that could help me fly into the trees or bushes to hide as well as to fly off to places where I could be seen. I could hear Ty and others scrambling around as I would take off from hiding spot to hiding spot in the middle of the night. I cried what felt like for an eternity fleeing down the road past my old high school and making a left upon this path which was partially covered by a rainforest. I went through the tunnel of trees that led to the most beautiful place I have ever seen. A massive waterfall took half of my view from the left side and the right side had a row of Tikis, statues, and precious stones. a path weaved between the trees and past the row of hills. I felt magic all around me, orbs and magical beings surrounded me. Some of them wore tribal paint and wooden masks while others just like everyday people like you or me. The wildlife resembled dragon-like beings, maybe even faeries, I couldn’t keep track of them all. I just knew that they knew me and I knew them. I was given the task to straighten around some of the tikis and precious stones not just on the hills, but on the platforms that sat in front of the waterfall which I had to use some sort of telekinetic abilities to move things around. When everything was perfectly aligned, with one thump on one of the many objects let off an echo of a thousand notes. I myself and all of the beings sung and it was so beautiful. I began to ascend the mountain tops in front of me when my dad appeared.

Everything around me hid and I had to go back from where I came. I was in front of the highschool and my dad directed part of the path to be covered in cement. I felt angered by this, but realized I knew how to get in there regardless of the cement. I was gifted, I thought. Suddenly, a weird being came by and caught my dad off guard, forcing him to leave me and tend to something else. I look up the hill that sits right at the high school and envision a massive pileup created by a number of clueless high school students. It happened right in front of my eyes before I could stop it. Bodies landed on top of one another and got stuck between car parts. There was screams as blood and gore was shed, but that soon disappeared into dust which then manifested itself into the form of ghosts that began to enter an odd shaped building within the gym. A haunted building for that matter, I just knew it was. Not just haunted, but there was malevolent energy in that dammed square shaped building. I knew that I had to go back and take care of something around my parent’s neighborhood.

I appeared back into the neighborhood and saw that people scrambled around in the streets looking for me. Ty yelled out for me and apologized for what he had said and that my job was safe. Another coworker confirmed that as well, and they both said they needed to know that I was going to be okay. Ty wanted me to come back with him so he could keep me safe. They begged and pleaded for me to come back over and over again. I didn’t care and thought to myself that this was something I needed to do. I soon headed north from my old neighborhood and went deep into a wooded bridge covered in snow. I could her Ty and my coworkers yelling “Wait!” and “Alex! Come back!”. I knew that they would eventually find my path and follow me. I felt comfortable knowing what I was doing despite the cold. In a vision I could see a line of zombies walking down a path going the opposite direction of the highschool. The got up from the ground and went towards a dysmal place where as I got closer to the light.

So… uh… strange dream, right?

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Dream Journal- Gentle Breeze in a Small Autumn Town

A few nights ago I had a very subtle, yet heavily detailed dream. I somehow managed to find myself in the hometown of one of my dearest friend. I found myself in the front of a fast food restaurant, possibly a Burger King, McDonald’s, In N Out, or something like that. It sat in its own lot which sat in the middle of what appeared to be a town square. I honestly do not know how I quite got there. I had visions of being transported there and yet, at the same time I had visions of being dropped off by someone who drove me over to this fast food joint. My dear friend who wore a black hoodie and jeans came up to me, welcoming me with open arms. They seemed pretty calm and laid back, ignoring the fact that I had absolutely no idea how I got here.

He urged us to go for a walk around town so he could show me around. We held casual conversations as he showed me around. The town seemed old time with buildings built closely next to one another. The paint and wood on some of the buildings chipped and wore away while others looked brand new and refurbished. There was Halloween decorations hanging on the edges of the roofs of all the buildings. Paper pumpkins, orange and black streamers, plastic bat and ghost decor, pumpkins and gourds lining the front end, etc. The breeze pulled off part of the streamers and one of the paper pumpkins. I tried to run after it to catch it, but it flew off into the gently faded blue skies. One of the town-folk told me not to worry about it and to let it fly away. 

Soon my friend and I started to get into an older, disheveled part of town. We walked by a small brick church with a cemetery sitting on the right side of it. I felt very unsettled about this area. Neighborhoods and streets stretched endlessly and it was a little bit more noisy here than any other part of town. The cemetery had tombstones nearly stacked on one another with tall grass and weeds entwined around the tombstones and semi-barb wired fence. I felt even more unsettled when I saw three teenagers running out the church and through the cemetery. I large man with an Italian accent stood on the steps of the church and screamed at the teens. He looked at us and started to walk towards us with aggression. My friend managed to convince him that we didn’t do anything wrong and I stood back. The large man said that it was okay for us to stay for a little bit, but not for too long. All three of us stuck around in the cemetery and the large man shared old urban legends and ghost stories that surrounded the town and this cemetery. I felt on edge and the tombstones started to glow. I could see non-corporal human-like beings starting to surround us. I really didn’t like it, but the large man and my friend embraced it more than anything else. I said I was going to leave, but then my friend followed me, then suddenly things went back to normal. I woke up feeling quite intrigued. 

This was quite a strange dream, does it mean anything to you? Have you had any dreams similar in nature as to this one?

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P.S. Hey! You can now find me on Patreon AND I have a Paypal. Any kind of help and support that you can give will always be appreciated. Thank you so much for your love and support!

Dream Journal- If Death was a Human

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It has definitely been awhile since I have made any dream journal entries. This dream that I had a few nights ago really stuck out to me because of its nature and overall message. I have never seen Death as an actual physical, human-like being… until I had this dream. 

I was walking with a large group of people, which seemed to be a class from school. We were in a different state, Oregon or Washington most likely. There was a bit of a chill in the air and very low humidity. The scenery was mostly a dull gray color with the exception of the greenery and the colorful neon lights that lined the inside of a bar that we were about to go into. What was strange about this is we were on a campus or town square of some sort, and it was deserted with the exception of me and the class I was going with. We went into the bar which all of a sudden felt as though it was on water with a gentle ebb and flow tilting the room side to side. It was a basic classic bar with everything made from oak and bright neon signs and wine glasses hanging from the ceiling above the bar area. All of a sudden we were surrounded by these strange men with glassy eyes who grabbed a large amount of people and pushed them through a large black door. They tried to grab me too, but I yanked away from them and made it out the front door. 

I was back outside with dozens of people who were standing in a large circle. There was a malevolent looking woman, dressed in black and red, with this black swirling mist that loosely wrapped around her body like a serpent pacing around me and a few other people. She had a wicked smile, black and red eyes, light blonde hair, and pearl white teeth. There was an amphitheater and stage and a large bed of navy blue water that sat before the stage. Everyone appeared to be in a trance and more people slowly walked to the circle which grew in size. I challenged the malevolent woman on what was happening and she claimed that this was the work of death itself; which the woman presumed to be death. Cracks of thunder and lightning came from the sky that lit up our surroundings and all of the entranced people were picked up from the lightning and were placed in several different locations. Folks were transported to a concrete coliseum with a grassy stage while others were transported to open fields of nothingness as well as several random locations in the city such as a prison yard, the stage, and the bar. 

I could see where all of the people were and how they were to die, and I felt so helpless. It was torture watching tens, hundreds, thousands of people being annihilated with the blink of an eye. A light jolted through the innocents by the thousands, which caused the earth to raise for a single moment, and as soon as it started it stopped. Their bodies went limp and I felt myself screaming “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!”. I looked back at the woman and again, screamed at her, asking her why. It was just me and her at that moment in time. Suddenly parts of her body started to show between the seams of her clothes and the truth of her form was revealed: she was made up of several different body parts from different people, stitched together limb by limb. Each limb differed in shade ever so slightly, but generally it was all the same. Soon out of the woman’s mass, a man with thick black hair, dark eyes, ‘perfect’ structure, and looks that could kill. These two people were made by the body parts of the fallen. The man soon claimed himself as being death and I was stuck with them. 

I felt so much anger and rage as I saw both of them live in luxury. They had everything they could ever want, except everything was either black or dark-colored damask. They had everything from their own personal amphitheater, massive mansion filled with riches, and exotic creatures that could only ever exist in a dream. They had all of the power in the world, being able to kill by the millions who were entranced by their black magic. But then… they got bored. This created slight conflict with Death and his mistress. Suddenly, their body parts that were stitched together started to slightly tear, mix, and morph with other body parts. I held light within my own hands; it radiated around my body and I took my chance to disable Death. With the use of my light, their most prized exotic animal, also made from the dead dissolved and melted to nothing. Death’s mistress popped into a cloud of smoke and light then dissolved to dust. Death had lost control of his own humanoid form and I walked from their room onto the outdoor stage that faced the water.

I stared up at the sky and heard a deep voice praising me and encouraging me to go forward. A light started to envelop me and I could hear the voices of many cheer me on, even though I felt so unsure. I was then given wings, which I had all along as well as many other gifts added on to my being. The edges of each gift lit up like lightning and felt warm and sensitive to the touch. I knew right then and there what I had to do as the light parted the clouds in the sky, and the angelic beings which glowed in pure light, came down to me and started to guide me. I ran through the field of nothingness to find if anyone was still alive. I was heartbroken to find that I couldn’t find any survivors, until I went a little bit farther down. I was relieved to hear that there were still many others that were alive who still needed my help. I managed to help free people of their trances, then my vision turned to light as I woke up.

I still wonder if the dream reflects anything going on it my life literally or metaphorically… who knows?

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Hey! You can now find me on Patreon, and I also have Paypal! Any kind of help and support you can give will always be appreciated! Thank you!