The Grove pt. ……

darkness

June 16th 2016- ….

I hear and see the same things every day. Dark gray sky. Gray lake next to a large gray window. Everything is black, white, and gray. I have become permanently colorblind. 

I’m all alone here. I hate this place. I want to go home.

I miss my husband. I miss my family. They tell me that I don’t have a family. The white coats tell me that my family died a long time ago. The white coats tell me that I never had a husband. They tell me that I never went to college, never graduated from high school, never left home. 

They do terrible things to me. They told me that I killed my family. They tell me that I’m evil. They tell me I have killed more than 10 people. They keep me seated at all times, sometimes strapped down. They give me tasteless food…. I fall asleep every time I eat. I’m given three shots a day, loads of pills everyday… I’ve lost track of how many. Sometimes they hit me or force me to sit down in a corner on the floor if I don’t do exactly what they say. Sometimes they strap me down for hours and have me watch weird videos or listen to weird things… screaming and the sound of nails on metal…

scrape. scrape. scrape. shriek…. more scraping… shreik… T-they aren’t human.

They scare me. Their eyes glow unnaturally. They are pale and have long, black stringy hair. They all look the same to me. They aren’t human. They aren’t huummmmm-…..

I’m going to die here alone. I can’t tt-akke it. I…. ne.. ed to fin… a. way… out- (the rest is intelligible scribbles)

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Favorite Skin

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I always knew that you would be my special someone.

I knew it since the day you were born my precious…

I crave your touch… I crave your eyes… I crave your face… I crave your skin….

All I need is you. I just can’t get enough of you, even if you wish to get away from me… 

I won’t ever let you go…. you can’t just leave me. 

Oh no, I can’t let you just leave

I can give you anything and everything you want.

Endless riches, fame and fortune, pearls? jewels? gold? silver?

How about being able to live forever? Never age, never die? Eternal beauty?

What about the hottest, smartest, most attractive being you could ever wish for?

They don’t call me the walker of skins for nothing baby.

And guess what… you are my favorite skin.

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Dream Journal: Werewolves and School Lessons in a Cemetery

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Bare with me when I say that this dream is extremely difficult to describe. It’s even more difficult for me to describe how I feel in regards to this oddball dream. There’s nothing more to it than that.

So, the dream starts off with what seems to be entering different locations, almost like entering different dimensions per door I walk through. I go from a hallway which looked like it belonged to a school, very similar in nature to the college I am currently attending, but with a bit more of a white wash with green lockers on the walls. The next room I enter is a highway that goes through a small town which was surrounded with flat farmland. Eventually it led me to a bizarre cemetery.

This is no ordinary cemetery (of course it’s not an ordinary cemetery, when are my dreams anything ordinary?) it existed in a dimension of space and time where it was constantly shifting, changing, morphing, and rotating. I could recall working with the ghosts of children who passed over 200 years ago to help stop the growing of the mound. There were many other human and animal spirits who roamed around the cemetery as well. The mound that was in the middle of the cemetery that began to grow over time. Even the other parts of the cemetery morphed into anything from classrooms, open reception rooms, and the view of the top row of an indoor amphitheater which faced an old-fashioned stage. My goal was to work with the restless spirits to reconnect with their loved ones, move on into the light, and heal so they can rest peacefully. With every soul I helped, the more that the land of the cemetery would heal. Patches of dried earth, decrepid tombstones, and dead greenery were fully restored.

However, the mound turned into a massive wall of broken earth, trees, graves, and human spirits that made the wall glow between the cracks of the broken earth. Soon the land that surrounded the cemetery briefly turned into the streets which were not too far away from my home. The sky was overcast, the sidewalk was lined with perfectly shaped trees, and a variety of small and medium buildings surrounded the area. Everything seemed to be oddly clean. I quickly got into action, jumped upon the mound, and destroyed bit by bit with my bare hands. Some pieces were broken off by the light of my own heart. The restless spirits of the mound screamed at me as their own fort they built was destroyed. When I finished destroying the mound, I stared at them and told them they needed to move on. The spirits began to go to the left which led back into the old country highway.

Suddenly the cemetery morphed into the amphitheater that briefly disappeared during the whole ordeal of smashing the mound. I remember walking back and forth between a classroom filled with blue light from a projector, to a red carpeted hallway were some teens reached out to me for help, which in reality they really didn’t need my help. I reached the amphitheater where I could see an open door which led to a street on the left side of the stage. I got on the stage and was immediately pounced by a werewolf. It wasn’t any ordinary werewolf, it was one of my old teachers. I was frightened, thinking that this creature was going to tear me apart, but in reality the creature licked my face and was affectionate just like any beloved canine would. I felt a flash of warm, pink and red energy cover me as this happened. This happened several times when I was on the stage. The creature would pounce onto me and others would try to stop the werewolf. The werewolf tried to attack other people and I tried to stop him. But then I found myself turning into a werewolf. I felt free from the things that held me back. All of my problems seemed to have vanished. I howled and ran after the werewolf whom presumed to be one of my teachers.

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The Grove: The Doctor and The Attourney pt 2

dark-14

May 25th 2015- I don’t even know what’s going on….

Yes! That is now my header for today’s great clusterfuck of events! One thing lead to another which lead to another and now… and now Joshua is being held in protective custody. No one will tell me anything, not even Steve. I kept pushing the question on Steve and all he could tell me is I don’t know… One minute my brother was in his room, as fine as he can be in this shitty situation. Then the next he is being taken out on the gurney through a pair of double doors which automatically lock whenever someone has walked through them. There are cops and people in white coats everywhere… they took Steve into the double doors too. He struggled. I couldn’t help him. I got up and fell flat on my face. Flat on my face. My ears are ringing and everything is fuzzy.

This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening………

I need help. I think they gave me something…. The monster of blackness is near…. it took my parents and now it’s going to take me. I feel its hollowed eyes on me. I can see its wide toothy grin with serrated yellow and brown teeth. I can feel its breath on my face. I can feel it looming over my shoulders… this heaviness… I don’t know how much time I have left. I write this as a way to find calm but god dammit it’s not working. The cops and people in white coats are starting to close in around me with syringes and handcuffs… arms drawn. They should just kill me too…. I want to die. Free me from the monster of blackness… save me. save me. svea em. sven ma. me svea. save. me. 

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Waltz.toM@d

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“I’ll always envy you”, he said as his fingertips glided across the black water creating a ripple effect.

“I’ll always hate you,” she said as her fingertips glided across parallel to his ripple effect.

“And yet…” he began to say.

“And yet… ” she began to say.

“I’ll always wonder why we both have come together on this very day, love.” he said as he grabbed her hands and put them in his.

“I’ll always wonder why we have this complicated connection, my dear.” she said as she pulled herself into his arms.

“Even though I envy you, I still love you with all my heart love”, he said softly as he pulled her closer.

“Even though I hate you, my love and burning passion for you evaporates the darkness in my heart to a crisp”, she said as she whispered in his ear. The unbearable heat from the walls of flames only fueled their lust for one another. Both he and she used their fingertips to form a heart in the middle of the black lake which maintained its shape for a short while. 

The ground beneath their feet which was nothing but blackness grew colder as the walls towered over them. They slowly slid from the stone seat onto the cold ground where he pulls her closer to his chest. They kiss passionately, rolling tongues for hours on end as they move with each other flawlessly with grace. Every fiber of their being burned and tingled with pure ecstasy with every movement they made. 

Now the fire was within their movements more so than the fire in the walls. He pulled her from the cold ground and said,”Care for a dance, love?” His hollowed eyes stared into hers. 

A soft smile of rotted teeth grew upon her face as she said,”My pleasure.” He grabbed her hand and waltzed around the lake of blackness as a eerie melody started to play in the background. 

His ash covered skin matched ever so perfectly with her endless obsidian black hair. Her pale stitched flesh matched perfectly with her lover’s flowing snow white hair. His serrated smile complemented her rotting grin. His hollowed eye sockets matched her blood soaked eyes. 

Yes… they will dance on for an eternity… Adam and Eve…


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(all credit goes to the original owner(s) of featured image)

Who decided that this was a good idea: Call/Text Joey to make sure that he is ok

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I decided that maybe it might be best to wait for a moment or two on Joey before going inside. After everything that had happened tonight, I didn’t know what to believe and honestly I didn’t care. All I knew was that I’m tired and ready for bed; I wanted tonight to be done. What I also knew was that my dear childhood friend was hurt and my friends were hurt, but at no fault of his own. Joey has always worn his heart on his sleeve, so if he had the slightest notion that he did something wrong, it would just kill him. 

I sighed, walked to the bottom of the concrete steps across from my car, then sat down. I first decided to text him first. I said, “Hey Joey, are you okay?”… I waited for about 5-10 minutes then heard nothing. “Were you going to come back home or were you going to crash at a friend’s place?” I sent hastily as a sense of dread grew down my spine. ‘Michael, think! Don’t panic, use logic! It’s just been a rough night. Joey will be fine’ I thought to myself, but I didn’t even remotely believe it. Another 5 minutes passed by… then 10… then 15… then 20… I thought that I’ll give him a call after waiting for 5-10 more minutes. 

“Nah man, I’m coming back. I just needed to walk around,” I hoped that’s what he would send to me, I prayed that I would hear back from him soon… but still nothing. I sat at the stairs for about 45 minutes before I decided to call him. The wind was starting to pick up and an early winter chill crept up on me, wrapping around my head, neck, and legs. I quickly stood up and dialed Joey’s number. I stood and shivered as the breeze whirred and whistled past me. Sienna colored leaves glided and twirled slightly in the wind then would softly touch the ground. Errrrrrrpuh…. errrrrpppuh… errrrrpuh… Come on Joey, pick up! errrppppuh… then static… Well, the static sounded as if the phone was inside Joey’s back pocket of his pants, like the sounds you’d hear if someone were to accidently butt-dail you. “Hello? Joey?”… no response. The sound of movement stop and then the static went from thin and slow then immediately blasted in my ear along with the sound of sharp ringing and an unearthly guttural, shrill scream. I pulled my phone away from my ear and within an instant, the hellish sounds stopped. Then I could hear some nearly inaudible mumbling from Joey.

“Joey, are you okay?” I said frantically.

“Yeah…” barely audible to the ear and it sounded almost disembodied in a way. 

“Joey it’s Mike! What’s going on????” I held the phone closer to my ear.

“Nothing….” 

“Are you sure you’re okay??? You’ve been gone for an hour without a word. This really isn’t like you at all!” I did my best to stay calm, but this was just too weird.

Silence…

“Where are you man? It’s 1:30 am! Are you coming home or are you going to a friend’s house?”

“Home…” 

“Okay, do you mean back at our place or do you mean home with your parents?”

“Home…” he repeated.

“Yes I know but wh-” Then the call dropped. I tried calling Joey a couple times but it went straight to voicemail every single time. I sat back down on the steps and bowed my head down on my folded arms that I put upon my knees.

Part of me assumed that maybe he possibly meant his parent’s home. Joey would visit his parents and sometimes spend the night there on certain occasions such as the holidays or during a family gathering. He would even go to his parents place just for the hell of it. He has always been really close with his family and would always confide in them and his closest friends whenever something is wrong. 

This wasn’t like Joey. He wouldn’t do things like this; not even his pranks were this creative. This can’t be happening…

What to do:

Go after Joey and call his parents

or

Contact other friends

or 

Go to bed and leave the front door locked

or

Start from the beginning


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