I don’t care if it’s the apocalypse! I’m putting up Halloween decorations.
I hope you enjoyed these memes!
I don’t care if it’s the apocalypse! I’m putting up Halloween decorations.
I hope you enjoyed these memes!
“Isaac, the barn is on fire!” my wife yelled as she burst through the bedroom door.
“Aw shit, are you sure?” I jumped up.
“Look!” She ran to the bedroom window to the left of the bed, above the oak dresser and low and behold, the old barn was ablaze. The 1876 barn was ablaze.
“Fuck! Megan! Call 911! Hurry! Get the kids up!” I screamed as I bolted out the door.
“What about the animals?” She cried.
“I’ll take care of that, just call 911 and get the kids up” I commanded firmly.
She ran out the door, down the hall towards the bedrooms and I ran down the blue carpeted stairs to the back door. I grabbed our large hose at the edge of the old farmhouse and turned on the water, running towards the barn as fast as I could. I could feel my heart pumping into my chest to my throat, my palms covered in sweat, my legs and feet were shaky, my stomach in knots, I thought I would lose control of my body.
I ran up to the barn with the end of the hose exploding with water and began to spray down the barn. It was so hot that even being near it made my skin burn. I sprayed down the door so I could control the flames enough so I could get in there to help the animals escape. The two story farmhouse was starting to crackle and pop as the flames grew in size. The cows, horses, chickens, pigs, goats, and other animals cried out of fear and terror.
“Shit, come on! Work, work!” I yelled, fighting for the lives of the innocent livestock.
I continued to spray the hose on the burning barn, but the flames still continued to grow larger. A large plume of flames burst through the door of the doors of the barn, pushing me far back. Splinters from the barn cut my face and hands.
“No! No no no!” I sat up.
Animals began to run out of the barn, and yet it was a truly awful sight. Some were on fire, some were charred beyond belief, some were covered in splinters, and others were covered in bloody slashes. Only a few came out unscathed. A loud screech could be heard from the barn. It was something I have never heard in my life before, something from a nightmare. A pair of bright white eyes were visible in the open window on the top front on top of the barn. I turn around and see two fire trucks pull up behind me. I look back up to the window and the eyes are gone. I feel myself growing faint, things started to go dark. I just couldn’t fight the feeling.
My body collapsed to the ground.
The next thing I know I wake up in a hospital bed with bandages on my arms and forehead.
“Whoa, why am I in the hospital?” My wife and two adult children and two preteen child was there.
“Megan, David, Lily, Joseph, Hannah! Ah! You’re all here. Even Grandma and Grandpa are here!” I felt a sense of warmth and relief as I saw them here with me at the hospital.
“You suffered some third degree burns and inhaled some of the smoke from the fire, causing you to pass out. You’re going to be okay! You just need to rest for a little bit.” My wife said with her sweet voice.
“That was really scary Daddy.” Hannah said as she ran up to me and hugged me. Her blonde hair spilled onto my arms as I held her.
“We’re glad that you’re okay son, you gave us a little bit of a scare going out there so close to the barn.” My dad said. My dad aka grandpa rarely expressed his emotions, so this really meant a lot to him if he said something like this.
“So, what happened to the barn? Has it burned to the ground?”
“Well, at least 65% of it is gone hun. We’re going to have rebuild most of it.” My wife said in a pitiful tone.
“What caused the fire?” I scratched my head and wondered why it could’ve been because the barn was up to code.
“It’s still under investigation, but what the firefighters did find was the gas line was slashed.” My wife nodded.
“What about the animals?” I asked anxiously. “Did any of them make it?”
“Well, there’s a serious issue with that. None of them made it.” My wife was somber.
“What?” My jaw dropped. “How is that possible? I could’ve sworn I saw a few escape unscathed!” I yelled. Everyone looked at me, startled by how loudly I yelled.
“I’m, sorry.” I sighed. “How did it happen?”
“Well some of the animals burned to death as you know, some of them died from penetration of the splinters or inhalation of the smoke, others died from these gashes and cuts that no one really knows where they came from. Someone thinks that maybe a bear or maybe even a timber wolf or coyote might’ve gotten to some of the animals. However, I have never seen gashes like this before.” My wife kept pondering on how the other animals died.
“It wasn’t a bear, nor a wolf or coyote, it was The Wendigo.” An elder man in Native American garb walked into the hospital room.
“Dancing wolf!” Hannah ran to the man known as Dancing wolf and gave him a hug. He smiled and hugged her back.
“Dancing wolf.” My wife said.
To be continued…
We’re almost done with 2020 and boy it’s been a year for the history books. What is desperately needed now is some positivity and funnies! The holidays are finally here so you know what that means, holiday memes! Let’s get started on some holiday funnies!
Ouch! I have to admit that it’s National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation pretty right?
Why give away a perfectly good brick?
Hey! That’s not Santa, quick! Hide the cookies, it’s a trash panda!
One of them is cuter and definitely funnier than the other. I’d rather have the lizard than the boxed whatever hahaha.
“Don’t lie! You have an extra batch of cookies for Santa paws, right?”
Haters gonna hate and I’m gonna ice skate!
I thought this was supposed to be a quick gig Martha!
I hope y’all enjoyed these festive funnies! I also hope that everyone has a wonderful day!
Last night I dreamt that I was put into an asymmetric, geometric like place that was filled with puzzle pieces that glowed in the dark with neon colors. I was very confused to where I was or why I was here in this odd looking room. There were other people in the room with me. They looked familiar, but I could not remember the names and faces because the colorful neon colors and shapes was too distracting for me.
Suddenly, I was teleported into a laboratory that had an hourglass that I had to fill and balance with honey. There was a hole-like indentation in the middle of the hourglass that I had to watch out for. The honey acted like neon-color changing lava that felt so scalding hot to the touch. I stood over a table full of beakers, test tubes, crystals, and all kinds of fascinating gadgets. I could swear I could see a night sky in the background.
Someone was trying to grab my attention while I was finishing up with the honey. They seemed strange yet familiar to me. They came to get me from the lab and I was walked back into the room that I thought I was in before, but it was a different kind of room which turned out to be a rotating box. The outside of the box was broken yet attached and had to be rotated around to be fit back into place. As the pieces rotated, grains of sugar softly crumbled from the edges of the pieces of the puzzle like box contraption.
As soon as I was able to fix the box contraption (barely), I was teleported back into the original room that I found myself in. Everyone in that room seemed hysterical that I disappeared. I turned to my left and saw a circular, geometric piece with a image of a feminine monk figure sitting in the middle of it. The monk turned into a seed-tree of life shape. The people in the room with me kept trying to get my attention, but I could not help but feel pulled towards the piece I was looking at. I felt as though I couldn’t let anyone grab my attention away from whatever was going on at this moment in time. After this, I woke up.
I have had dreams similar to this before, but not this detailed.
With how everything has been over the past few months, why not share a few laughs with a few zombie memes? It’s silly, horror themed for the horror fam, and some of them are just so darn cute! Let’s take a moment from the stressful news and brighten up your day with something silly (possibly bringing things that were once dead in the meme world… double the undead process!!)
Oh no honey this has nothing to do with bath salts… the first step to recovery is acceptance and you must accept that you are a zombie. 😂
Who keeps calm anymore????? I don’t!!!
I hope you enjoyed this short bit of funnies! Stay safe and have a wonderful evening.
I can’t emphasize the seriousness of this post. No one believes a word that I have to say, but dammit I hope that whoever is reading this right now will. I don’t have much time left to explain.
Has anyone been watching or reading the news??? Well I have news for you: it’s nothing like how everyone has been saying it is. It’s worse. Far, far worse, but in a different way. You see, this is no ‘normal’ by the book pandemic. What pandemic is normal? It’s not, but what I mean is, it’s not a typical disease where people get sick and die…
This is the part where people start to think I’m crazy or that I have serious mental health issues… I don’t. They don’t stay dead! They won’t fucking stay dead.
I used to be a nurse technician in a hospital which was in a very small town, about a couple hours or so away from Los Angeles, California. I can’t disclose any information for the sake of confidentiality and time. When Flu season started, it really wasn’t all that serious at first. But then the cases started to increase, by handfuls, then it turned into dozens. Our hospital only can handle so much so local counties had to volunteer to help. The thing is, when we ran our normal tests like for blood, urine, swab, etc, it didn’t come up as the flu. Not even the strep, common cold, meningitis, sinus infection, or any typical infections during this time of year. It wasn’t the flu anymore… it was something else. People were dying left and right. Yes, some did recover, but not enough of them to say that any true progress was made. It’s more of a 90% fatality rate. If caught early, 75%. Although, that’s rare, more along the lines of 10-15% rare. Most medications, pain relievers, anti inflammatory medications, fever reducers, antibiotics, antivirals, you name it, they really don’t work. Nothing… works…
When they die, each and every one of them emit this really putrid smell of death, rotten flesh, and decay. You can smell it within an hour of them dying. It makes no sense… necrosis kicks in so quickly, too quickly. If they aren’t bagged up and buried ASAP, they will attack with homicidal aggression. They have inhuman strength! It’s not just that… they leak and blood and liquid blackness from the pores of their skins. They grow and twist and contort and it’s just my god…
The first person that they attacked was my mom who was a doctor working with me at the time. Limbs were torn, hair was pulled, eyes gone, head smashed, everything that was my mom was turned into a pile of muscle and bone. I tried to fight the thing by throwing a vase at its head, but it didn’t work. I quit over the phone the next day. I have overheard from other coworkers that they were able to take down that one patient, but that wasn’t the first incident in that hospital. That body was dead for an hour and a half tops. I watched the news for a few days and they showed a map of the globe of the affected areas. I was in absolute disbelief.
My Dad passed away many years ago and the only one I have is my fiancé is on a business trip in another state. The town is completely shut down because of what has happened to the hospital, but I have decided that there is nothing left here for me and it is not safe. Shit! The banging on my doors and windows has been absolutely nonstop!
The hospitals are almost completely overrun and those things are everywhere. There’s no time to hold a funeral or wake for someone unless if they have died from something other than this damned disease, which is rare these days. Burn them before they rise, or else you will be their next meal. Oh my god! Theykbryjkga;?7
(All content in this story is fictional. Artwork rights of image belong to original owner.)
Please don’t try this…. ever.
You won’t come back in one piece, or ever.
How I know is because I am a witness.
I have witnessed ‘The Quiet Ritual’ by the CLA (Celebration of Life) done multiple times.
It is for people who are either terminally ill or for those no longer wish to be on this earth.
We celebrate life one more time and at the end of the celebration, the person who is ready to go, goes in their own way.
However, the one who holds the ceremony has to either be a higher authoritative figure in law or religion.
I’m a priest in a Catholic Church.
I’m a relatively young man with no life and all I have wanted to do is make people happy.
I have given so many elders a celebration on their last day of life on earth which has made them and their families happy.
I know this may sound great and all, but here’s the catch to this private service: I also did mention it is for those who no longer wish to be on this earth.
This could be for people who aren’t elderly or sick per say, but for people who are tapping out.
This is the only organization in the world that will allow something like this.
I was very reluctant to do this, but I signed a contract for 5 years and I couldn’t back out of it.
I was offered great pay and I couldn’t go anywhere else work wise.
After the first person I helped tapped out, that’s when I heard the voices.
They told me that every time I had to do a ritual, I had to take a small piece of myself off of my body.
I was overwhelmed with dreams, visions, shadows, and the b-b-bugs… the fucking bugs.
They crawled over me during my sleep.
Thousands of flies and maggots.
Each day, each ritual, each death, each patch of skin…
Patch of skin… patch of skin… patch of skin…
(Image art credit to original owner)
Halloween + Horror = Hallow-Horror! They’re great on their own, but their even better when they’re put together.
Haaaappppyyyy Plllllaaaaaacccccceeee! ❤
One Friday the 13th has come and gone this year, but when the next one comes, it will be too sweet… (Jason nagging over Michael’s shoulders sweet)
Awww… Jigsaw only wanted to play Uno this time. =(
Does anyone truly have the balls to do something like this??? XD
Hahaha! Hannibal made a ‘funny’! XD
Was it ‘I Know What You Did Last Summer’?
Oh good God in heaven, what the hell is this atrocity??? XD
That sounds like an ideal date to me! ❤
I’m allergic to normal and I’m even a lot more allergic to popularity.
Oh my dear ghoulish friends, there’s a lot more spoopy funnies going your way. Enjoy.
I kept my eyes closed as the ominous man pulled me through what felt like being warped through swirling tunnels of time, but there was no time. Not that I could feel.
I was petrified, yet secure at the same time. The man held me close to his chest as we swiftly warped through the swirling tunnels. I held on tight for I was afraid that I was going to fall into some black abyss if I let go.
I felt this overbearing need to just cry. I held back tears what felt like lifetimes ago… before I died.
Suddenly the swirling tunnels stopped and we landed onto the same exact spot I was before, but minus my body and the blade that ended my life. I will never forget the face of my stone-cold killer.
Here we are dear. We are right where we need to be.
His mouth never moved when he spoke, but his eyes and face would make movements equivalent to the tone of the words he expressed. He did not blink at all, for he didn’t have eye lids.
Are you alright?
He put his ice cold hand on my shoulder. It felt cold to the touch, yet my heart felt warmth from the gesture. I nodded softly. I tried to take a step forward to look at the spot I was murdered and I fell to my knees. My body fell like an old rag doll! I had absolutely no control of my body’s movements at all. I was disconnected from myself, from everyone, everything, the world… my world. Gone. Forever. Taken by the hands of a killer who I thought was the love of my life. It was one big lie; a lie that I so desperately wanted to be true.
My emotions flooded over me like the overbearing current of a river breaking way through a fragile, worn down dam. Hot tears rolled down my cheeks. My chest and throat tightened up. I began to sob; it wasn’t just part of my body that sobbed, it was every fiber of my being that sobbed. I was robbed of my body and of my life. There was absolutely nothing I could do about it.
The ominous man pulled me up onto my knees and sat down with me on the blood soaked concrete.
Don’t cry dear. It’s going to be okay. Your pain is over and the healing will finally begin. Justice will soon be in your hands.
“How? How is everything going to be okay? I’m dead and it’s all over! How can a dead person get justice? It’s impossible!”
I cried even harder. I realized that I would never be able to see any of my family or friends again. I felt robbed, hopeless, helpless, and stuck… stuck in this darkness. Instead of arguing back or trying to use more words to comfort or assure me, he just sat there with me. He held me closer to his icy cold body.
After a few moments, I started to slow down. A few minutes after, I completely stopped crying. When I was still alive, this would never have happened. I used to cry until I fell asleep on my couch or on my bed at home. My fiance, or should I say, stone-cold killer, didn’t have any patience. He always focused on a way to fix whatever made me upset or for me to ‘get over it’. I hated it. I didn’t want to share anything with him because I was afraid I would immediately get judged or hurt.
You have quite a beautiful voice. My heart breaks for you. Many moons ago I felt the same exact way that you did.
“What happened? How did you die?”
The Ominous man glanced down at the crimson colored cement, and then back up at me.
I was once betrayed like you. Someone who I thought I could trust stabbed me in the back, literally. It was an argument over what my once niave spirit worried about, which was money and time. So we met up at a park to talk things out like adults. The conversation wasn’t going anywhere and I thought it was best that it was time for me to go home. I stood up from the bench and turned my back only to be dragged into the trees under the hill below. I felt an excruciating pain in the middle of my spine. And then I felt it again, and again, and again through my head, neck, and lower spine. Everything faded to red and then black. I woke up what felt like moments later in pure blackness. I got up and managed to crawl up the hill with whatever strength I had left. A passerby in that park found me and called for help. By the time help came, it was too late. I was gone.
“Oh my god, that’s awful! I’m so sorry! I can’t believe someone did that to you.”
I had a wife, two children, a home, an ever changing career. It was yanked away from me just like how that filthy creature took your life. I was angry, heartbroken, confused, and I felt that I was forever stuck on this plane. Time went by and I wasted away. The one who I truly believed was the love of my life turned to another not long after I died. My children grew up and they moved on. They were very very little when I passed. I got tired of watching myself waste away. I had to seek justice out for myself, and I did just that!
“And then what happened?”
Only time will tell my dear.
He helped me up and I felt myself gain a little bit more control of my body. I was able to stand up on my own and in fact, I felt lighter. I felt physically, emotionally, and spiritually lighter. It was like as if a weight was taken off my body. I haven’t felt anything like that in years.
Oh, and you can call me Gerald, or Brandy. Whatever works for you dear.
For once in my existence, I felt as though that whatever facing me was not going to be insurmountable. Maybe, I can stop this situation from getting any worse. Maybe I can stop my killer and show everyone the kind of person this monster really is. Maybe I can save others from getting killed too!
Maybe Brandy can help me. I need to know why he is here though. Why is he helping me? Is he a guardian angel? Is he death? Is he just an ordinary ghost or phantom? What is he? Who is he?
To be continued…
It might be only September, but does that really matter? Hell no! Halloween, aka spooky season is here! Decor, movies, candy galore? It’s never too early to get excited for Halloween, it’s also never too early nor too late for the funnies! Here we go!
“I don’t like horror movies.”
…. awkward *eye twitches*
I freaking hate it when this happens! That’s why you should never wash your mask Jason!
It’s never too early for Halloween dammit!!!
This sounds like a fun project for the whole family! (Your neighbors will love you and appreciate you for this)! 😁
This is what horror villains do for fun! 😂
Oh my gosh they are just so VERY “friendly”! Uh… Hm…
Here’s the truth about vampires and why they’re not fun to be with: they all suck!
Hey, it’s what I do! It really does work! 👍
If it makes you happy and it doesn’t hurt anyone, then why not? (Unless if you enjoy killing people like Jason Vorhees or Michael Myers… *gulp*).
The definition of Creepypasta can have emphasis and class, right?
Have a nice night everyone!