Letter to Dearest: Epilogue (Grande Finale)

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To my dearest,

This will be my final entry to you; this is the end of all endings. 

My chest burns fucking raw from the absolute zero frost inside my heart.

I endlessly curse the skies and damn the grounds from which I stand upon.

I must know!!! Tell me now… tell me this; why does evil exist?

Apathy, carelessness, selfishness, negligence?

An eternal rage that burns even the most innocent of souls. 

Are you feeling pure joy now?

How can this be oh dearest?

Why must the most unconditionally loving souls disintegrate into nothingness?

The innocents suffer and die while the malevolent entities dance and sing. 

I have caught many in their ruthless acts of violence and abuse. 

I’ve even picked up on the smallest wifs of negligence and abandonment.

I condemn the demented souls that walk upon this earth.

I have never wished harm or suffering to be put upon these things…

Except for now… god damn them!

I wish for the forces of god to come and strike down the ones made of filth and lies.

Eradicate the pure evil that walks upon this earth.

Banish the spirits of the damned that roam within these planes of existence.

Rid the souls of light from the abominations that suck us all dry.

Allow the ones who learn from their mistakes a chance to evolve and learn.

I don’t need this, you don’t need this, we don’t need this! 

I’ve lost my fucking mind!!

When will this fucking madness end???

I’m ending this fucking disasterpiece!

THIS ENDS TODAY.

END!

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Confession #6

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 “My favorite color used to be yellow when I was very, very little. I had yellow EVERYTHING! Yellow room, bedspread, furniture, clothes, you name it. Every birthday my mom would buy me yellow flowers because I loved them so much. I especially loved sunflowers and always wanted to try to grow some in our backyard. I always thought that my taste in color was unique and others did too! When I got older… my taste in color changed ever so dramatically…

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For whatever reason, I became obsessed with everything pink! Pink clothes, pink room, pink walls, pink furniture, pink rug, pink sheets, pink everything. This surprised my parents because growing up, I wasn’t a very ‘girly girl’. God only knows why I loved pink then, because I certainly didn’t when I was younger! I didn’t like the idea of wearing makeup or girly clothing until I got a little bit older, and even then I still wasn’t really 100% into it. A big part of me held onto the idea of having a pink room for so long because of my mom’s battle with breast cancer when I was a teenager (she’s fine now!). 

Then as I continued to grow, my taste in color changed again…

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Huzzah! Purple! Purple, violet, indigo, lavender, lilac… I LOVE purple. Before I moved to where I am now, my parents and I purple-fied my room. It was more subtle than any of my other past room decor. In fact, my old room is still purple, with a few slight changes that have been added to it. My current home has a lot of purple and black furniture. 

Overall as an artist, I enjoy using cooler colors and shades more so than using warmer colors and hues. It truly doesn’t matter what medium I use, I’ll always choose cooler colors over warmer colors.”

What were your favorite colors growing up? Did those colors have any special meaning to you?

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Hey! I’m now on Patreon and Paypal. Any support that you can give to help me on my journey is always appreciated! Thank you!

Catching up!

Hello! My apologies for the lack of posts and content lately. I’ve recently been hit by one of many life’s curveballs…. right in the gut, or so it seems. It has taken it’s toll on me emotionally and physically over the past few weeks. Since then, life itself really hasn’t been easy lately, and I’ve found it difficult to find the motivation to continue to pursue all of the great things I had in front of me. After feeling so down and beaten up, I realized that I couldn’t continue to feel defeated from things that were out of my control. I must use my passion to give me drive when I feel stranded in the darkness. With that I am moving forward with my personal passion and drive! 


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Update: Changes Being Made to The Dream Gallery

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So, this is something I have been meaning to bring up for a while, but it has taken me a little bit to decide that making a change to this would be the right thing to do. I have reached a point where I feel that it’s time to make a good change or two.

I must start off with wanting to say that I have been wanting The Dream Gallery to grow, but haven’t been sure how to make it do so. The Dream Gallery has has been becoming more and more mixed together with Metaphysics and Spirituality. Despite the fact that the topic of Dreams has scientific meaning, it also has all kinds of other meanings and aspects to it too. Metaphysics, Spirituality, Psychology, Sociology, Mythology, so on. So low and behold, The Dream Gallery is going to be lumped together with a new project that also dives into Metaphysics, Meditation, and Spirituality. I will have more information about these changes coming soon.


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4 Spring Zen Haikus

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The cold cycle ends.

The spring lotus flourishes.

New spring blooms within.


Goodbye icicles. 

Sharp ice dissolves from the sun.

Lily petals bloom.


Here comes the new sun.

Smiles grow as the new sun glows.

The new sun is zen.


What’s the song of spring?

Growth, change, flourish, and rebirth. 

This makes my heart glow.


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(all credit goes to the original owner(s) of featured images)

 

Loss Frozen Through Thoughts

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Painful thoughts throb in my mind as I drag through the days.

I’m not the same person as I used to be before everything happened. 

I changed after I knew I wasn’t wanted, needed, appreciated, and loved.

The hoops you had me jump wore out my legs, twisted my insides, and drained my spirit.

My heart and soul were bent and twisted to fit the kind of companion you wished for.

Sometimes I was your personal pet that you trained to be your own and no one else’s.

Sometimes I was your scapegoat to take the heat from your mistakes.

Sometimes I was used as a venting tool only when it was needed.

But never a true companion….

My own efforts to succeed beyond the finish line that was made for me went unnoticed.

A single mistake lead to harsh punishments and companion shaming… which led to companion hating.

You chose when to punish me and you chose when to forgive me.

The unconditional love you promised to give to me and all others was a fallacy.

Everyone else in your eyes was either a walking flaw or a soul who could do no wrong.

You could never see the pain you have caused, nor the damage that was done to me.

My world became shrouded in darkness for all to see.

Thoughts and feelings of sorrow froze into a nonstop neverending loop of madness.

Any spot of sunlight in my life appeared to be vile and obscene in your eyes.

One day I grabbed a sunspot and wrapped it around my body.

I let the light lift me up even when you attempted to grab my feet and pull me down.

I decided that I wanted to change and go to the next level.

I changed for the better. 

I changed to embrace a new tomorrow. 

You didn’t come with me.

You didn’t grow and flourish like how you said you would.

You didn’t wish for me to be happy or succeed.

You didn’t want to be happy and instead wished for pain on others.

You didn’t want to wish for a better tomorrow.

You didn’t want to be my true companion.

Life didn’t seem to work out in the way I wanted it to.

Unfortunately it just had to be this way.

Patches of old thoughts have yet to thaw out today, but for the most part it is Spring in my mind.

I still miss the old memories, the long laughs, the warm smiles, and times that were good to each other. 

But I can’t miss you, wish for your return, nor have you in my life again.

It has to be this way for the both of us.

I won’t question that.

I’m ready for a new tomorrow.

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A Hugely Gianormously Awesome Update

As of right now, the smile on my face is wider than the surface of the earth. I never thought that I would get to this point with any of my personal projects. My own personality, creativity, goals, and dreams have just flourished within the past few months. I have come a long way since I first created my own blog. My biggest goal has always been to make a positive impact in the world; or even just creating a ripple effect with my own actions that hopefully reaches others and makes their day that much better. But, what I’ve realized is that one of the most important things in life was to make myself happy, and with that, I believe I have accomplished that goal by far. 

I want to continue to create more goals and dreams and start more projects and create new ideas! I still have many things I need to work on and I’ve had my ups and downs for sure… but continuing to work on those and creating new things to work on too! I am forever grateful for those who have been helping me along the way. And with the old things that no longer play a role in my life, stagnant, old things… it’s time to give them the boot! “Out with the old, in with the new”. 

So with that, I wanted to announce some new things that are going to be happening with the site. But… I can’t quite tell ya what all of these changes are going to be! I want it to be a surprise. All I can say is I’m making some big changes, expanding things, adding new things… yes, yes, and they are going to be awesome! 

Again, thank you all so much for your love and support! I can not wait to see what the future brings. =)

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