#Spirituality · Dreams · Synchronicities · Universal World · World of Psyche · Writing and Poetry

Dream Journal: Suicide or Escape

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This is the third time that I have had this dream now, and this time I can fully recall all of the details of this dream. Within the span of about 3-4 months I have had this same exact dream, with the exception of certain aspects of the dream emphasized per dream occurrence. Everything about this dream felt so trippy and unreal, and yet at the same time crystal clear. I must have been in some sort of trance in the dream, if that’s even possible.

Here are a couple interesting things about this dream: Three places were heavily focused on in the dream (which I will describe shortly), but why 3 specific places? Also, a few of the same people from work have showed up in this dream just like how they have before. For example, Ty has shown up in not just one dream, but in several dreams such as the Pyramid Dream and Vulnerabilities and Tattoos Dream.

On with the dream! I found myself in my hometown, specifically at my parents house. Ty and another coworker was patrolling the neighborhood which, oddly he did so for my safety. It was late and the only thing that illuminated the streets were the orange glow of street lamps and a couple lights that were on in front of my parent’s house. It also was made apparent that there was a random Target down the street. LITERALLY in the middle of the street too. Ty came by on my street specifically and my parents and I waved hello. He stopped by to see if everything was okay and if we needed anything. My mom harshly stopped Ty in his tracks to complain about the poor treatment of raccoons and other animals that lived our neighborhood. Ty pulled me aside and in almost a whisper, asked me what that was about. I had absolutely no idea! My mom then chimed in and said a very snarky, nasty comment about work that I could not hear, but made apparent to Ty that I did something I wasn’t supposed to, which I wasn’t sure what I did, in fact. The lights of the house and the street lamps began to move and change color. I overheard another co-worker coming and then something about my job possibly being on the line.

My head was a major mess. I kept thinking about work, home, school, family life, and past trauma and problems that suddenly were brought forward by this statement. I wanted to run, I wanted to hide, I wanted to be out of the spotlight, alone. I felt the eyes of my parents on me and a few others as other people could be heard in the distance. I bodly said to Ty that I wished to die, I wished for suicide. I began to cry and I ran off where others could not see me. I could magically manifest wings that could help me fly into the trees or bushes to hide as well as to fly off to places where I could be seen. I could hear Ty and others scrambling around as I would take off from hiding spot to hiding spot in the middle of the night. I cried what felt like for an eternity fleeing down the road past my old high school and making a left upon this path which was partially covered by a rainforest. I went through the tunnel of trees that led to the most beautiful place I have ever seen. A massive waterfall took half of my view from the left side and the right side had a row of Tikis, statues, and precious stones. a path weaved between the trees and past the row of hills. I felt magic all around me, orbs and magical beings surrounded me. Some of them wore tribal paint and wooden masks while others just like everyday people like you or me. The wildlife resembled dragon-like beings, maybe even faeries, I couldn’t keep track of them all. I just knew that they knew me and I knew them. I was given the task to straighten around some of the tikis and precious stones not just on the hills, but on the platforms that sat in front of the waterfall which I had to use some sort of telekinetic abilities to move things around. When everything was perfectly aligned, with one thump on one of the many objects let off an echo of a thousand notes. I myself and all of the beings sung and it was so beautiful. I began to ascend the mountain tops in front of me when my dad appeared.

Everything around me hid and I had to go back from where I came. I was in front of the highschool and my dad directed part of the path to be covered in cement. I felt angered by this, but realized I knew how to get in there regardless of the cement. I was gifted, I thought. Suddenly, a weird being came by and caught my dad off guard, forcing him to leave me and tend to something else. I look up the hill that sits right at the high school and envision a massive pileup created by a number of clueless high school students. It happened right in front of my eyes before I could stop it. Bodies landed on top of one another and got stuck between car parts. There was screams as blood and gore was shed, but that soon disappeared into dust which then manifested itself into the form of ghosts that began to enter an odd shaped building within the gym. A haunted building for that matter, I just knew it was. Not just haunted, but there was malevolent energy in that dammed square shaped building. I knew that I had to go back and take care of something around my parent’s neighborhood.

I appeared back into the neighborhood and saw that people scrambled around in the streets looking for me. Ty yelled out for me and apologized for what he had said and that my job was safe. Another coworker confirmed that as well, and they both said they needed to know that I was going to be okay. Ty wanted me to come back with him so he could keep me safe. They begged and pleaded for me to come back over and over again. I didn’t care and thought to myself that this was something I needed to do. I soon headed north from my old neighborhood and went deep into a wooded bridge covered in snow. I could her Ty and my coworkers yelling “Wait!” and “Alex! Come back!”. I knew that they would eventually find my path and follow me. I felt comfortable knowing what I was doing despite the cold. In a vision I could see a line of zombies walking down a path going the opposite direction of the highschool. The got up from the ground and went towards a dysmal place where as I got closer to the light.

So… uh… strange dream, right?

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Randomness · Weird-Crazy-Perhaps Scary · Writing and Poetry

The Grove: The Doctor and The Attourney pt 2

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May 25th 2015- I don’t even know what’s going on….

Yes! That is now my header for today’s great clusterfuck of events! One thing lead to another which lead to another and now… and now Joshua is being held in protective custody. No one will tell me anything, not even Steve. I kept pushing the question on Steve and all he could tell me is I don’t know… One minute my brother was in his room, as fine as he can be in this shitty situation. Then the next he is being taken out on the gurney through a pair of double doors which automatically lock whenever someone has walked through them. There are cops and people in white coats everywhere… they took Steve into the double doors too. He struggled. I couldn’t help him. I got up and fell flat on my face. Flat on my face. My ears are ringing and everything is fuzzy.

This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening………

I need help. I think they gave me something…. The monster of blackness is near…. it took my parents and now it’s going to take me. I feel its hollowed eyes on me. I can see its wide toothy grin with serrated yellow and brown teeth. I can feel its breath on my face. I can feel it looming over my shoulders… this heaviness… I don’t know how much time I have left. I write this as a way to find calm but god dammit it’s not working. The cops and people in white coats are starting to close in around me with syringes and handcuffs… arms drawn. They should just kill me too…. I want to die. Free me from the monster of blackness… save me. save me. svea em. sven ma. me svea. save. me. 

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#Spirituality · Alex Speak · Dreams · Positivty and Funnies · Synchronicities · Universal World · Writing and Poetry

A Saying of Faith #2

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Both words start with ‘F’.

Both words can have an impact.

One is positive.

The other is negative.

Which do you prefer?

Faith will bring the best results.

Hold on to it tight.

Don’t let go of your own faith.

Expect miracles.

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Animals and Nature · Positivty and Funnies · Randomness · Universal World · Writing and Poetry

Friendship Is…

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Friendship is feeling pure joy every time you see your companion(s)

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Friendship is a companionship that can be held with anybody young or old.

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Friendship is someone to turn to when you need a shoulder to cry on.

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Friendship knows not of race… even dog and goat.

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Friendship is knowing your companion’s tricks and pranking tendencies.

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Also…

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#Spirituality · Alex Speak · Positivty and Funnies · Synchronicities · Universal World · Writing and Poetry

A Saying of Faith

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Faith has no reason.

It doesn’t make miracles.

However, faith does.

Faith and reason aren’t the same.

Reason is logic.

Logic doesn’t bring the light.

Only faith brings it.

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Weird-Crazy-Perhaps Scary · Writing and Poetry

Who decided that this was a good idea: Call Joey Immediately

3ab7c99ce1a32b4c5c78a2e62eb9cea3 It felt amazing to feel the autumn sun on my skin as I got out of bed and stretched. But, I really needed answers. Why am I so sore? How did I end up here the way I am? Why am I bandaged up? I had a list of questions that went on and on in my head….

I immediately picked up my phone and dialed for Joey. He picked up immediately, thank god. “Hey Mikey! How are you feeling man?”

“I feel like I got hit by a bus.”

“Oh yeah… I bet you do!” Joey nervously laughed.

“Errmm- I mean I’m really really hurting man. What the fuck happened last night?” I said impatiently.

We got into a car accident last night, man. There was a raccoon or coyote or something that ran straight across in front of the car and I swerved and hit a tree. It was really, really bad. Jen, Nick, and Jeff got a little bit of a beating, but you got the brunt of it. You We all had to go to the hospital last night. Even I got some scratches and what not.” I could tell that Joey was trying his best to sound calm, even though I could just barely hear how anxious he was by the tone of his voice. “I’m so so so sorry Mikey! I never ever meant for any of this to happen.” He said in a strangled whisper that turned into gentle sobs. 

“Joey, hey hey, don’t worry about it! We can talk more about this after school if you want. Maybe grab some dinner or have a cup of coffee?” 

“Are you sure you’re going to feel up to meeting up?” still gently sobbing.

“I’m pretty sore man, but I’m not dead!” I exclaimed, feeling a hint of worry rise up in my voice. My whole body felt as stiff as a board, heavy as lead, and throbbing like tiny pins and needles pulsating through my whole body. 

“Okay,” He sniffled. “One of my classes was cancelled today, I can grab some stuff and bring it home, is that okay? Jeff, Sandra, Nick, and Jen were going to meet up at Nick’s place later on. We were going to order pizza and play some games on his Xbox. Did you want to come along then too? Only if you feel up to it. The doctor left behind some specific instructions on what you can and cannot do. I left it on your dresser before I headed out for class.” I paused for a second and looked around my room to find the papers.

“Ah, okay I see them.” I glanced over them for a bit, some of the instructions seemed a little off… At first my vision blurred for a bit before I could see the list: Michael A. Johnson, age 21, height 6′ 1”, weight 176 lbs, diagnosis minor concussion with bruising of the ribs, spine, and collar-bone. Care instructions 8-9 weeks of bedrest, laying flat on stomach with little to no lighting. Keep all windows shut at all time and take 4 vicodin in the morning, evening, afternoon, and mid-twilight, never leave the house alone ever again, keep note that they are always watching you Mikey…. My heart began to race. “How come I don’t remember going to the hospital?”

“You were knocked out when we took you in. The doctor said that you had a slight concussion, a couple bruised ribs, and you sprained some of the tendons, shit I can’t remember what they were called, in your knees and elbows. Thankfully it wasn’t anything worse than that. We all thought you were a goner…” He sniffled once again. 

Everything began to turn black and white… I felt like I was going to be sick. My head started to become fuzzy and I began to lose balance. “Mike, are you okay? Hello?” 

The voices began to speak to me… gentle whispers turned into demonic screams and laughter. Random words were screamed out like “Run!”, “Die!”, “Fuck!”, “Blood!” “Disembowel!”, “Jennifer!”, “asphyxiation!”, “Nick” , “Jarring”, “Joey!” “Devil!” “Demon!” 

“Mike?” His voice started to sound deeper with each word he spoke. “Mikey? Hello? Are you there? Are you okay?” I felt a cold chill touch my left cheek as a voice quickly whispered, “I’ll kill you.” Into my ear… I vomited black and dark red putrid liquid then fell into static… silence came after the screams…

Move onto part 2…

or

Start at the beginning…

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