May 23rd 2015- Waking up from the Nightmare
I just woke up from the worst nightmare I had ever had. It’s 3:22 am and I’m still in fight or fight mode. I’m quite bewildered of this. I don’t get nightmares very often, and when I do they tend to slip away from my memory. The dream I had was just so real, and it was far worse than the one I had the night before my mom passed away.
I still remember that nightmare like as if it happened yesterday. I was 17 when I had this dream… I recall laying in bed then I heard what sounded like a large cluster of voices starting to maniacally laugh, scream, and giggle right in my ears. I jumped up from my bed onto the floor. My bedroom was just so off… My light sky blue bedroom that was normally filled with soft moon light was covered in patches of pulsating red, black, dark blue, grey, and brown orbs of light and sludge filled my whole room. The large white paneled window that sat directly in front of my bed was boarded up and oozing some sort of weird black bubbles. All of my furniture with the exception of my bed was gone. My bed was a grimy, moldy, blood soaked hospital bed that sat in an old rusty white metal frame. I remember how horrible that bed smelled too… My mirrors and pictures were taken down from the walls and replaced with patches of shiny metal bars instead.
I look to my left to see the door to the bathroom was shaking violently like as if an ungodly forces was trying to break it down. The door began to crack and bits of light shined through that continued to get brighter until BAM! The door explodes in my face and knocks me to the porous floor. And right before me stands an entity that looked like my mother, sounded like my mother, but in no way was my mother.
I slowly got back up and said, “Mom! What are you doing here? Are you alright?” Something about her felt so off. She had a blank, expressionless face and had this blue light that outlined her body. She wore what appeared to be like a night gown for elderly women, which was odd because she usually wore the same kind of pajamas I did. We loved to have both of our outfits match, even with pajamas.
She gently tiptoed towards me, hugged me gently, went up to my ear and whispered, “I’ll give you a chance and tell you sweetly to come to my grave with me.” I gasped and pushed her away from me. She had this crooked smile on her face with old, rotted out teeth and began to cackle. Her eyes were jet black and she had blood streaming from her eye sockets. Her neck popped out to the right and she began to walk towards me like a rigid robotic kind of child’s toy.
I screamed to the top of my lungs and I ran to my bedroom door and it was locked. “You can’t run from me now Nikki!” she screamed, now only being a foot or two away from me. I finally was able to swing my door open to see that it was open to space and time. There were stars everywhere, and I even saw a satellite or two float by. I looked down to see the Milky Way just below me and the door. I was trapped, I had to make a decision between being killed by the thing that claimed to be my mother, or jump. So I jumped and I found myself sitting up in bed. Everything was back to normal and I took a deep breath. I remember it being around 3 am when I had that dream. After that ordeal I went back to sleep, woke up at 6 and everything is history.
The dream I had just now was pretty much the same as the dream I had about my mother, but in this dream my father and mother were in it. It still took place in my old bedroom. Everything from the dream was the same as the dream I had when I was 17, only when I opened up my bedroom door it lead to a set of stairs down into what appeared to be a fully furnished basement. It had plaid and chestnut finished furniture with fish and game trophies lining the walls. The walls were a dull grey color and the wall had this old and worn out light tan carpet which smelled like musty fish, bleach, and dust. There was a glass coffee table that sat in front of a large flat screen TV which was placed within an older fashion entertainment center. My Dad was sitting on the edge of the coffee table and even he seemed off as he had the same aura my mom had. I cried and sprinted straight to my dad, desperately grasping onto him for dear life. As I tried to grab him, he held a flat hand out to my stomach and stood up.
“Daddy!? Daddy please help me, I think something is wrong wi-”
He slowly stood up and said, “What do you think you are doing to your mother Nikki? Don’t you see she’s been through enough?
“Daddy, I’m not Nikki! It’s me, your daughter Joey! I need your hel-“
He violently grabbed my hair and yanked me closer to him. His eyes went jet black like my mom’s eyes and he uttered a few words behind his serrated teeth, “I have a surprise for you my love. Just wait until you see what it is.”
I screamed at him to let me go, and he did. I turned to run back up the stairs for my mother had disappeared. I heard a very loud screech from what sounded like it was coming from a bird or cat, and I looked behind to see a gruesome sight. It almost made me vomit. Both of my parents wore the same kind of gown and were holding each other’s heads up while smiling like as if it was the best day of their lives. I screamed again and ran for my fucking life up the stairs. But the stairs kept going and going! I heard a guttural voice say, “We love you Joey, oh and tell Nikki we said hello!” off in the distance. Suddenly I felt two hands grab me from the shoulders and then I find myself awake. Steve was holding me tightly and kept saying, “Wake up Jo. Please, wake up, wake up, wake up. I’m here, it’s ok.”
After Steve calmed me down, I told him the entirety of the dream. Steve was so kind, sweet, and understanding. He already knew about everything that had happened in relations to me and my mother’s death, which indeed includes the nasty nightmare, so it wasn’t hard for him to find a way to immediately calm my nerves. I love Steve so much, he’s my everything. My rock, my companion, my best friend, and my super hero. I don’t know what I’d do without him.
Steve and I ended up watching Netflix from my laptop until we both fell asleep. We woke up at about 11:30 to find Josh sitting in front of the marble island in the kitchen smiling so sweetly. “Good morning! How did you sleep Jo? Steve?”. We both said we slept okay. Josh stepped to the side and said, “I made breakfast for you guys! Freshly cooked omelettes with bacon, sausage, toast, and your choice of fresh fruit is in the fridge all sliced, diced, and ready to go!” I ran up to Josh, gave him a hug and said thank you. Josh was always such an awesome little brother when growing up. When times were tough between my mom and dad, he was always there for me. There were quite a few times where I kicked myself for moving because of leaving Josh behind like how I did, but somehow it didn’t seem to bother him as much as I thought it would. He left a couple years after I did; buried his head in the books so he could become a teacher at a nearby university. Bakersway Community College I believe. He too got an Associates degree in Psychology and became a psychology professor at the same college he went to. I believe he got a Bachelor’s online but for the life of me I do not quite remember what for.
I was so afraid that when Steve and I were going to meet up with Josh that things would be awkward, but they weren’t. I was absolutely exhausted from the flight from Oregon to Michigan and my initial plan was for Steve and I to go straight to Josh, which was only a fifteen minute drive from the Airport. However… instead of going according to plan I asked Steve if we could stop by The Grove for a little while before going to Dad’s old place. He was reluctant on the idea at first, but for some reason I insisted that we needed to go to see my mother’s grave. I have absolutely no clue why I thought stopping by The Grove before meeting up with Josh was a good idea.
I stood up at that set of stairs for what felt like a century. Steve and I started to walk up towards the steps when my phone started to ring. It was Josh asking if we landed safely and what time we’d be getting to Dad’s old place. Steve gently touched my shoulder and said, “Jo, I think we should save this for another day and go meet up with Josh and get things situated. I know you want to visit your mother’s grave, but I think it could wait.” I nodded in agreement as Steve and I turned around to head back to our rental car.
I knew I should have just ignored that temptation to see mom, but I just could not help it. Like I said before, I thought things were going to be awkward with Josh. But, they really weren’t. When we got to see Josh, we basically had one big group hug. We chatted for a bit and Josh walked us into the living room. He gave us a brief summary of what he has done and what still needs to be done. Dad’s body was still in the morgue of the hospital, which I found a little bit strange, but then didn’t think too much of it because I’ll be quite frank and say I am clueless when it comes to handling these kinds of things. Josh didn’t quite know either, but he’s had a little bit of help from some of our own close friends and family which made me, Josh, and Steve feel a bit more at ease.
So the plan today is just to relax, recover from the flight, then start getting our to-do list for Dad done tomorrow. Here goes nothing, and I hope I mean that literally.
(all credit goes to the original owner(s) of featured gif)