Randomness · Weird-Crazy-Perhaps Scary

Flatlining Candle Light

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From the beginning of days I knew I would fade away.

Fade away from wick to wax to dust…

Wasn’t that enough?

Isn’t the slow decay of my life enough to satisfy you evil one?

I only have what feels like centuries to go, yet my drilling pain has not yet been alleviated.

Is it just me that you are after?

If it is, why so demonic fallen angel?

What is it that resides in the void of my soul you ever so desire?

Is it love, hope, faith, a crutch?

A hidden stairway back to heaven?

A heaven which you rejected and denied?

The answer will continue to be unknown.

I’ve been programmed to die since the date of my first birth.

I’ve lived hundreds of lives only to die the way I did within the first.

Death through suffering and pain.

I continue to feel that pain centuries later.

I’m flatlining within your palms.

The palms of a malevolent being of infinite power.

God help me…

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Alex Speak · Dreams · Synchronicities · Universal World

Weird WTF Feeling

question-mark-vector-1068869           I’ve had an itch to write a post like this for a while now. I’m not entirely sure if this is meant to be written as a piece to vent or to just to express what is going on through my mind, body, spirit, and whatever the hell else is going on in my life, seeing that maybe someone could relate to me. Or maybe possibly add some sort of inspiration out there that speaks, “You’re not alone” or “Feeling a sense of imbalance from time to time is not out of the norm”. If neither one of those things happens, that is perfectly okay with me. I tend to go with the flow.

Okay, enough mindless rambling! Now… for perhaps the past year and a half or so I have been getting these really oddly or randomly timed sensations of something feeling ‘off’. I do know for a fact that the intuition is never wrong, but the mind that is clouded with confusion, anger, sadness, fear, or what have you can throw you for a loop. My own sensations on whether something feels ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ has indeed worked in my favor by keeping me safe and on the right track. Oh, and what I mean by sensations are what some people might consider to be ‘gut feelings’, instincts, perhaps even visions, and or sensations within the body that might signal for something. Some would believe that our own intuitions are guided by higher sources, or higher light beings. These sensations can be very sporadic at times, but those timings happen for a reason.

The reason why I am pointing this out is I’ve been noticing a pattern with some of these sensations where I feel as though something feels ‘off’. They’ve been happening around the same time of night, for a consecutive amount of nights (going from a few days straight to two weeks straight to a week of nothing to a week of something), cycling an odd pattern of ‘off’ feelings and then finally, majority of the time the next day or a few days after those sensations, something happens. Most of the time, these events aren’t major, and sometimes they are. (For the sake of anonymity, names, faces, dates, and exact details will NOT be revealed). Whether it’s little everyday annoyances to much bigger and more dramatic life changes varies. Lately, some of these events have been turning into bigger, more serious life changes, and a lot of them are not directed towards me at all. 

On the flipside, I do have a lot of positive experiences where I do see something good coming my way, and eventually it does. There’s sometimes a bit of repetition to these positive sensations, yet not as much as the more ‘off’ sensations. 

When I do get these weird sensations, I do what I can to cope with them like listening to music, writing, drawing, watching something on Youtube, meandering on Twitter, etc. Sometimes even talking to someone helps. Eventually after a few moments the ‘off’ sensations go away, but only to a point. I still feel remnants of it towards the back of my mind and in the bottom of my throat and stomach.

Anyway, I hope that this makes sense to those that might be experiencing this as much as I do. Feel free to drop a message if you’d like. I hope you all have a wonderful evening! 

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