Alex Speak · Randomness · Universal World

2016- Wrapping Up a Year I Wish to Forget

2016, I am so happy that it is starting to wrap up. I wish to forget this year for so many reasons. I spent majority of this year stuck in a thick fog of darkness with which I never had a moment’s thought that I could get out of it. I considered constant sadness and misery to be a normal part of life, which in reality that’s not the case at all.

The first reason I wish to forget is because of how many close friends I have lost in such a short span of time. Many people who I had wished to be my friends turned out to be something that they were not. The flip of a die could reveal one face of my frenemies as another flip could reveal the worst. I was heartbroken to lose such wonderful friends, even though my connections with them weren’t as wonderful. This happened do to a wide variety of reasons. One, I outgrew them. I was heading down another past where as others would either lay dormant or head into a completely different direction, that’s just a part of life. Two, they have betrayed my trust. It takes a lot to upset me, but what really upsets me is when someone makes a promise to be trustworthy only to turn around and question why it is I could trust them. Three, the creation of lists on things I have done wrong. I still fathom why I have met so many people who wish to take the easy way out and to blame their own actions on others. Four, I’ve been turned into a human punching bag. Normal to lose one’s cool when in the moment, but a repetitive nature to hurt others becomes toxic. Five, I allowed them to take advantage of me. My kindness can be a downfall to others who only wish to feed off of you for their own personal game. I still continue to put my love and kindness to others despite that possibly being an open door to abuse. Lastly, they gave up. True friends NEVER give up on one another. No matter how hard things get, true friends stick around through the end. Some of my past friends have been their support for so long only to just stop and give up when it gets too difficult for them. Its like throwing in the towel to something so precious in the world.

My second reason to drop this behind me is because I spent far too much time neglecting my own health. I spent far too much time stressing on the future where it just ruined me in the end. I couldn’t sleep, I either under or over ate, I was constantly sick, missed far too much work and school, going to the doctor made no difference, and I could not relax no matter what I did. The things I used to enjoy no longer seemed to phase me or encourage me to move forward. Now, that is a different story. I am so much happier and healthier now.

Third reason is spending too much time feeling personal anger, guilt, and beating up myself over something I could never control. I always felt as though it was my fault for my family having so many conflicts and conundrums. To me, my presence seemed to only make things so much worse. I have learned otherwise now that I cannot control the actions of others. I let my guilt and anger build up so much to the point whether I questioned if my life was worth living. I no longer feel this way anymore and haven’t for many months now.

Lastly, death’s presence could be felt looming over my shoulders. The deaths of so many famous people and fearing the potential death of some of my loved ones made my blood run cold. I could not shake off the violent nightmares and flashbacks. I still fear these things today, but now I have learned that there is absolutely nothing to fear. The best thing now is cherish every moment of life and love every bit of it, even the bad stuff.

I am ready to let go of the hell that brought me near to death and back this year. I am ready to put the past behind me and to look forward to the new year. The future is truly bright and I know this to be true. Now, I’m opening the door to the unknown and I can’t wait to see what the other side entails.

-Alex

 

Positivty and Funnies · Randomness · Weird-Crazy-Perhaps Scary

Hollyweird

Hey, yo what’s up dawg?

How do you like my new beats?

I’m gonna get big!

I love music dawg.

DJing is what I do.

I’m immortal lawl!

I’ve been undead for years.

Its either now or when I’m dead.

(ha! just kidding)

I’m going to Hollyweird!

Not Hollywood dawg.

That is for fakes yo.

I’m the real deal man!

Hollyweird is where its at.

Made for the unique ones.

Especially the weird ones.

Hollyweird here I come!

-Alex

(all credit goes to original owner(s) of featured media)

Randomness · Weird-Crazy-Perhaps Scary

Sacred Sinners from far Beneath

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Deadly sinners from beneath the black waters.

Beneath of the black void which resides deep within the earth resides an ancient evil.

Don’t feel bad for them.

They have had their chance to live by the way they ought to be.

They do nothing but wish pain and misery from the ones who live above them.

These shadow beings only come up when they sense fear and vulnerability.

They are a unique macabre group that is triggered by hate and fear.

Hate, fear, madness, and beyond.

They are parasitic beings that dig deep within your skin.

Like a virus, they enter through our veins and spread their sickness around.

All precious life force is fed off until there is absolutely nothing.

They trigger your worst fears out of malevolence.

You cannot teach them how to be good.

You cannot avoid them as long as they are here.

You cannot expect these beings to eventually change.

And you will find that they will not leave you alone until every fiber of your beings is embalmed with madness.

They were once human too, but that was a very long time ago.

Recently these beings come out from the void due to the violence and death which runs rampant through the states.

And around the world as well.

Eyeless, faceless, and lack of finger prints and positive DNA.

They feed on others to stay alive.

They may not be alive or dead, but as long as their is moderate amounts of food to keep them going, then there is no stopping them.

However, you my dear friend can learn to protect yourself.

To do so you must memorize and remember what each ancient sinner represents.

Do not ever forget their names.

Don’t forget what they are here for.

And remember to not share any from of petrifying fear whatsoever.

Sweet dreams dear one.

Stay on the right path and ignore all of the forks.

-Alex

(all credit goes to original owner(s) of featured media)