Weekly Funnies: Monday Madness


Boxer: ‘Good god! Who let Monday out again? Get him away from me! Ehhhh GAD! Go away Monday!’

Monday the Tortoise: ‘But I just wants a huuuuuuugggggg!’

Happy Monday everyone! Give Monday a big hug and embrace the week. Lots of love and light to you all!


(All credit goes to original owner(s) of featured media)

As Day is Over…


Let go of your fears, put up your feet.

Lay back for a while, because there’s a new tomorrow you will meet.

When that day comes, start it with a smile.

You know that feeling will last a while.

Have a good night everyone.


(all credit belongs to original owner(s) of featured content)

General Ode to Milk


Good god I can’t live with myself.

I eat soup by day and indulge in milk by night.

My god its like a drug!

Not the soup, the milk.

I can go on and speak of the variety of soup I’ve had during my life time.

Chicken Noodle, Minestrone, Chowder, Vegetable, Beef, Lentil, Cream of whatever, so on..

But if there is one thing I can’t live without its…

No not money, its useless- I could burn it.

No not fame, I could care less about the world and others, I’m aloof.

No not power, … power over what? I’M DEAD! Can’t you see that?

No… none of that.

Just. Fresh. Ice. Cold. MILK!!!!!

It’s like psychedelic euphoria all in a carton for one.

The end to all worries starting with a sip.

A satisfying sensation that only makes you beg for more.

Ah… yes. Milk.

I don’t take any of that bullshit soy, almond, coconut, or whatever chemicals they use these days for milk.

Hell no! There’s no point in putting a label on liquid gold!

1%, 2%, whole, half & half, lactaid… whatever.

I like it fresh, straight from the sources.

It rejuvenates what is left of my mouth, face, and jaw.

I have no more feeling in my face, skin, jaw, eyes, or nose.

What is a corpse who will forever walk the earth with the rest of the undead to do?

Their all mindless zombies… NO! It’s not a stereotype. I’m not one of them.

I have class. I come from a rich culture. I prefer tasks of what I used to take on when I was once among the living.

Instead of gnawing on human remains using their sticky bones for toothpicks, I eat my daily soup and indulge in MILK!

I watch as my friends decay and fall apart slowly. But, here’s the thing, I haven’t!

My whole face region was damaged this way before I went to the otherside of humanity.

But, ever since I had gained this need to indulge this liquid beauty has seemed to make it stop.

You know what though? Even if it didn’t, I wouldn’t give a damn. It tastes ever so decadent and I just don’t fucking care anymore!

Now, if you excuse me, I myself and my late night companion have some catching up to do..


(all credit belongs to original owner(s) of featured media)

Share- Monday Funnies… — Chris The Story Reading Ape’s Blog

My Thanks to Author Tina Frisco for sending these to me: Seattle Propane at Wallingford Chevron has a person with a good sense of humor running their sign department. PART ONE

via Monday Funnies… — Chris The Story Reading Ape’s Blog