Da funnies-Cure for the Monday Blues

The weekend is over and the week starts anew. Not to mention, the New Year is finally upon us! Winter Break is over for a few and there are those who wish the fun will never end. That can tend to make everyone grumpy, especially when it involves getting up early and getting back to the old grind after the holidays are over. Little things that make us smile and laugh can make a difference in anyone’s day. Here we are with some more weekly funnies.

boxer

Don’t worry my friend! It was just a big and mean cat overstuffed with cheetos and catnip. (There’s nothing like a Boxer to help save the day)

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Hey! Someone catch him! He’s a thief! Someone grab him and stop him from stealing my lunch!

ijr0vj64cwWhat was that? What did you just say? Quit eating everything and get that frog out of your throat! Why do goats have to eat everything they touch?

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Balloon aerobics is fast, fun, easy, and quick exercise! It beats going to the gym to hop onto a treadmill, right?

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And not a single fuck has been given today.


I hope this made you laugh or at least smile and that you have a lovely week!

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2016- Wrapping Up a Year I Wish to Forget

2016, I am so happy that it is starting to wrap up. I wish to forget this year for so many reasons. I spent majority of this year stuck in a thick fog of darkness with which I never had a moment’s thought that I could get out of it. I considered constant sadness and misery to be a normal part of life, which in reality that’s not the case at all.

The first reason I wish to forget is because of how many close friends I have lost in such a short span of time. Many people who I had wished to be my friends turned out to be something that they were not. The flip of a die could reveal one face of my frenemies as another flip could reveal the worst. I was heartbroken to lose such wonderful friends, even though my connections with them weren’t as wonderful. This happened do to a wide variety of reasons. One, I outgrew them. I was heading down another past where as others would either lay dormant or head into a completely different direction, that’s just a part of life. Two, they have betrayed my trust. It takes a lot to upset me, but what really upsets me is when someone makes a promise to be trustworthy only to turn around and question why it is I could trust them. Three, the creation of lists on things I have done wrong. I still fathom why I have met so many people who wish to take the easy way out and to blame their own actions on others. Four, I’ve been turned into a human punching bag. Normal to lose one’s cool when in the moment, but a repetitive nature to hurt others becomes toxic. Five, I allowed them to take advantage of me. My kindness can be a downfall to others who only wish to feed off of you for their own personal game. I still continue to put my love and kindness to others despite that possibly being an open door to abuse. Lastly, they gave up. True friends NEVER give up on one another. No matter how hard things get, true friends stick around through the end. Some of my past friends have been their support for so long only to just stop and give up when it gets too difficult for them. Its like throwing in the towel to something so precious in the world.

My second reason to drop this behind me is because I spent far too much time neglecting my own health. I spent far too much time stressing on the future where it just ruined me in the end. I couldn’t sleep, I either under or over ate, I was constantly sick, missed far too much work and school, going to the doctor made no difference, and I could not relax no matter what I did. The things I used to enjoy no longer seemed to phase me or encourage me to move forward. Now, that is a different story. I am so much happier and healthier now.

Third reason is spending too much time feeling personal anger, guilt, and beating up myself over something I could never control. I always felt as though it was my fault for my family having so many conflicts and conundrums. To me, my presence seemed to only make things so much worse. I have learned otherwise now that I cannot control the actions of others. I let my guilt and anger build up so much to the point whether I questioned if my life was worth living. I no longer feel this way anymore and haven’t for many months now.

Lastly, death’s presence could be felt looming over my shoulders. The deaths of so many famous people and fearing the potential death of some of my loved ones made my blood run cold. I could not shake off the violent nightmares and flashbacks. I still fear these things today, but now I have learned that there is absolutely nothing to fear. The best thing now is cherish every moment of life and love every bit of it, even the bad stuff.

I am ready to let go of the hell that brought me near to death and back this year. I am ready to put the past behind me and to look forward to the new year. The future is truly bright and I know this to be true. Now, I’m opening the door to the unknown and I can’t wait to see what the other side entails.

-Alex

 

Hollyweird

Hey, yo what’s up dawg?

How do you like my new beats?

I’m gonna get big!

I love music dawg.

DJing is what I do.

I’m immortal lawl!

I’ve been undead for years.

Its either now or when I’m dead.

(ha! just kidding)

I’m going to Hollyweird!

Not Hollywood dawg.

That is for fakes yo.

I’m the real deal man!

Hollyweird is where its at.

Made for the unique ones.

Especially the weird ones.

Hollyweird here I come!

-Alex

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Sacred Sinners from far Beneath

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Deadly sinners from beneath the black waters.

Beneath of the black void which resides deep within the earth resides an ancient evil.

Don’t feel bad for them.

They have had their chance to live by the way they ought to be.

They do nothing but wish pain and misery from the ones who live above them.

These shadow beings only come up when they sense fear and vulnerability.

They are a unique macabre group that is triggered by hate and fear.

Hate, fear, madness, and beyond.

They are parasitic beings that dig deep within your skin.

Like a virus, they enter through our veins and spread their sickness around.

All precious life force is fed off until there is absolutely nothing.

They trigger your worst fears out of malevolence.

You cannot teach them how to be good.

You cannot avoid them as long as they are here.

You cannot expect these beings to eventually change.

And you will find that they will not leave you alone until every fiber of your beings is embalmed with madness.

They were once human too, but that was a very long time ago.

Recently these beings come out from the void due to the violence and death which runs rampant through the states.

And around the world as well.

Eyeless, faceless, and lack of finger prints and positive DNA.

They feed on others to stay alive.

They may not be alive or dead, but as long as their is moderate amounts of food to keep them going, then there is no stopping them.

However, you my dear friend can learn to protect yourself.

To do so you must memorize and remember what each ancient sinner represents.

Do not ever forget their names.

Don’t forget what they are here for.

And remember to not share any from of petrifying fear whatsoever.

Sweet dreams dear one.

Stay on the right path and ignore all of the forks.

-Alex

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Insomniac

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What does sleeping mean?

I don’t remember it now.

Does sleeping exist?

Can the mind fog stop?

What is mind fog anyway?

Where does this come from?

Is joy the same thing as sleep?

I seem to lack both.

I feel happiness.

But, I cannot feel pure joy.

Like how I can’t sleep.

I don’t remember.

When did I become this way?

So many questions.

Things left unanswered.

Is that shadow real?

Is darkness real too?

Maybe that creature is too.

The one behind me.

I guess so.

-Alex

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Good Causes: Wildlife Aid Foundation

Wildlife Aid Foundation is an excellent organization that focuses on the welfare of non-domesticated animals in southern England. Their goal is to help protect and preserve the wildlife that resides in England, take the reports from others who find cases of wildlife in trouble, learn more on how they can help continue to save animals, and educate others on the importance of wildlife and our ecosystem. The foundation was created by Simon Cowell in the 1980’s and is still going strong today. Today, He and his team work together to help create that balance in England’s ecosystem. To help support their cause or find out more information, you can check out the site at any point in time. They are always looking for people to help fundraise, volunteer, sponsor, and find ways to get involved in any way possible. 

-Alex

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‘Til Death Do Us Part?

I am a liar.

So I agreed to the statement of ‘Death do us part’ at the altar.

But you see my dear, that was all a lie.

I wanted to spend an eternity with you my dear Ivory.

I knew that from the moment our eyes met.

Your ivy green eyes looking into my hazelnut eyes.

Moments felt like centuries standing there in that grocery store.

I was so lucky to find that you were recently hired in to work in the same building I work in.

Building, design, construction, and Architecture.

It only took two weeks for us to decide that we were a couple.

We had endless nights of deeply passionate lovemaking…. I just couldn’t get enough of her silky smooth skin, auburn colored hair, and those ivy green eyes.

We did it all. Movies, romantic dinners, coffee with breakfast before work, shopping (even though I hated it, we still had good times), road trips, and of course hours upon hours of passionate kissing and lovemaking.

You chose me. To this day I’m not sure why. I’m just that average tall and thin privileged white male in a first world society. Dark hair, brown eyes, and just an average joe appearance I guess.

Anyway, 4 months later, we decided to get engaged. One year after that, we were finally married. It was our special day. A wedding by the gazebos in front of our favorite park, clear blue sky, jade green grass, and the peaceful sound of birds chirping. Our families, friends, and co-workers were happy. We were happy.

Were, being the word.

I never thought that a disease like this could ever exist.

A disease you’d only see in a zombie flick or some shit like that. The first thing that came to my mind was some sort of kockamame government experiment gone wrong.

Or perhaps a parasite lying dormant in the darkness that finally found a way out.

I wish my guess was wrong, but it wasn’t.

It got us tonight.

It got everyone.

Everything just happened so fast.

As we pulled up to our driveway earlier this evening, we noticed something moving in our bushes towards the edge of the fence.

I couldn’t tell if it was a dog or what. All I could see was blood on the grass and bits and pieces of what looked to be clothes or skin.

We were both shaken up by the broadcasts on the radio that urged us to get inside.

I assured Ivy that it was ok and to stay in the car.

She refused to do so and followed right behind me as I pulled a crowbar and heavy-duty flashlight, amongst of my many tools from the back seat.

We slowly approached the bush only to find nothing there, when a massive shriek that sounded like a cat came from behind us and saw a very vile humanoid looking creature pull my wife to the ground.

I whipped myself around, ripped the creature’s teeth from Ivory’s arm and smashed its face in with the crowbar.

I couldn’t really see what the creature was until I got closer to it. It looked like a partially shaved cat of some sort in the form of a human. What I mean by that is, it was like as if it was an undead being, but with some cat-like features like cat-like teeth and claws. It smelled like a decaying piece of roadkill too. I really can’t explain it myself.

My mind snapped back towards Ivory and pulled her up from the ground. She was screaming in pain as the teeth marks on her arm started to pour out blood. I ran back inside with her and carried her into the bathroom. I put her in the tub and pulled out the first aid kit.

She cried and held her arm in pain, but managed to speak clearly with me despite the pain.

I began to clean the wound and bandage her up. As I was doing it a grim look had grown upon her face. The blood soaked through the bandages no matter how many times I layered them. The color had drained from her face and hands and her veins became visible.

All she simply said was, ‘I love you’.

I told her not to say that and that she would make it.

She gently cupped my face with her hands as I anxiously tried to get the bleeding to stop.

She told me it was ok, but I refused to listen. She told me I knew what to do, but I denied the inevitable.

As 10 minutes go by, my once lively and lovely Ivory lost the will to fight.

I paced around the beige colored bathroom panicking about what to do.

Don’t ask me how, but for some reason I somehow knew she would come back as one of those things and as soon as she would, we would both be dead.

I didn’t want to die, not yet.

But, I wanted to continue our vows beyond the world of the living.

It is too soon for both of us to die like this.

I took a cheap razor from the drawer below the sink and hastily slit both of my wrists open. I ripped off some of the bandages and covered my arms in her precious blood.

I even started to physically lick her wounds and consume her blood and… and it was just so… good.

I carried her lifeless body into the bedroom and placed her gently on the bed.

I swear to God I’m not a necrophiliac or a crazy person, but I had an idea.

I somehow thought that if I could experience that kind of love one more time, then maybe God or some sort of supernatural force would bring her back.

Praying to god, kissing her all over; hoping that it could manifest some magic, sweetly talking to her in her ear, then finally out of frustration, shaking her didn’t do a single thing.

I ripped more the bandages off in frustration and screamed as I was on top of her precious body.

Then I started to feel ‘off’…

It was like as if I wasn’t me anymore and that something else was taking over.

My chest began to tighten up and I felt everything spinning around me.

I began to slowly lose feeling in my arms and legs. I had realized I was starting to fade away into the abyss called death.

A massive smile started to grow on my face that stretched ear to ear. I couldn’t help myself, but I laughed. Laughed, laughed, laughed and laughed. Lau-hed.

Everything went f-fuzzy as I got off of Ivory and sat beside her. I saw her I-I-I-Ivy gggreen e-eyes open and she slowly saat right bbbbbak upp.

Everything is n-now start-ing t-t-o ggggo black.

N-now I knnerow th-that I-I-I’m commming back.

B-ack to my I-ry.

I -ov uuuuu…

-Alex

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Horror Topic Disclaimer

When it comes to self-expression, I don’t hold back. It doesn’t matter if its drawing, sculpting, painting, or writing. I will not ever hold the raw power that I have within my heart to thrust into my art back. Holding back is like trying to paint with a paintbrush with no paint. But, I will say this; the content I normally put out can be pretty explicit in nature. There are numerous topics I go over in my posts, some things can come across as offensive to others. However, I want to make it clear that I DO NOT condone any form of violence, theft, vandalism, assault, rape, molestation, murder, genocide, bullying, harassment, self-harm, hatred, or anything that would do any potential harm to others. I simply wanted to make a disclaimer that I do not support the things that I have underlined above, but that my content can often be explicit, dark, and or offensive in nature. 

I always put my all and love into everything that I do. I would never personally wish any harm against anyone. I truly hope that you do the same.

-Alex

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Pull.me.mad

It’s impossible.

I can’t get it together.

I’m forever doomed.

Forever doomed by the thing.

It’s just that one thing.

It makes my skin squirm and crawl.

Maggots are my skin.

Fuck this place, fuck all of this.

Get out of my head!

I’m completely corroded.

There’s no turning back.

I have no flesh nor soul left.

This is not my blood.

Grinding my teeth hurts as hell.

Nervous flint rubbing.

The room never stops spinning.

It’s now grey and black.

I no longer have feelings.

I’m dead now my dear.

They cannot hurt me at all.

But, they can hurt you.

The thought of that makes me smile.

 I am not sorry.

I feel no pity for you.

All I want is pain.

Blood, gore, and all of the works.

Doesn’t that sound nice?

I must observe suffering.

There is no cure dear.

I died a long time ago.

The disease took me.

The plague set me free! God yes!

All black in nature.

Gold and grime within the core.

This will be your fate.

I now suggest that you run.

I’ll be watching you.

I’ll be staying here until the end.

Let the games begin.

Let my madness.

Please let my soul expire.

I’m ready for this.

-Alex

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