Am I mad, sad, or glad?
Words that describe such emotions are meaningless to me.
What a fickle thing, isn’t it?
Born with something with which many of our own species wish we never were.
I however disagree.
I truly, truly desire the ability to ‘feel’ again.
No, I’m not talking about smell, touch, taste, sight, or sound.
Or if any of you out there believe in precognition or clairvoyancy.
Nonetheless… I want to feel human emotions again.
I want to smile again, laugh again, feel joy reverberating in my soul again.
I want to cry, feel sadness, know and understand what it means to feel disdain.
I want the many other emotions in between as well.
Confusion, Jealousy, Envy, Anger, Rage, Indifference.
I can’t feel those emotions anymore.
Not even anger.
I don’t feel anymore.
Not since I cut my eyes and tongue out.
I should also mention my eardrums, hair, nails, scalp, and feet.
You’re probably wondering how I’m able to write this.
You see, this was pre-written before I have done any of this.
But, by the time this goes out there onto the internet and to my friends and family…
It will be done and probably far worse.
I’ve already known for a while this was going to happen.
I’ve had non-stop nightmares every single night.
I can’t even tell now if I’m still in a dream, or not.
But every single day feels the same to me.
All I see, hear, feel, and experience is that damn dream.
The feeling of having no emotions whatsoever, even being numb after being ripped apart.
Before I get any further into this, I’ll just say one thing and one thing only;
Don’t conjure the darkness that lurks in your dreams.
I did, and here I am… or was.