Alex Speak · Artwork · Dreams · Randomness · Synchronicities · Universal World

Transitions- Autumn

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As we leave behind Spring and Summer;

The sweet scent of something anew fills my nostrils. 

What is it? What is this new scent?

Rainfall, gentle chill of the wind, richly scented soft amber leaves;

I can recognize that smell anywhere!

It’s not just a sensation that blows my olfactory senses ablaze;

It’s the early set of the great sun and the early rise of the Autumn moon.

It’s the temperature dive that makes every nerve ending within my being tingle.

It’s the absorption of the deep greens which bleeds into the reds and oranges we have come to know and love. 

Yes, I can feel it in every fiber of my being.

I can hear the gentle breeze from my bedroom window.

I can see people changing their wardrobes from tanks and shorts to coats and boots. 

I can smell delightly decadent foods with pumpkin, spice, and cinnamon sugar.

I can feel the warmth of the fall transition all around me.

I can taste the autumn sweets as I devour them bite by bite. 

I love this season for every reason I have described above.

Are you ready?

-Alex

(all credit goes to the original owner(s) of featured media)

 

 

 

 

 

Alex Speak · Synchronicities · Universal World · World of Psyche

Who Am I?

whoyouwere  Who am I? I’m me. I’m Alex. I’m the person who I want and need to be. I follow my own truth which lies between my heart and soul. I am true to myself and to others. I strive to be successful and am grateful to be alive <<- This is my true affirmation of myself.

There is one thing I have learned this summer and that lesson was this ->> I refuse to hide who I am nor will lie about myself to others. I will not fib or keep certain truths to myself just because I’m afraid. I will not be someone I am not just to make myself feel secure and safe. Lastly, I refuse to be around who make me feel small, worthless, unworthy, or like a monster or a disappointment. 

         These were values I had always felt in my heart were true. However, I found that after moving this summer I really need to hold these to my heart AND then implement them. While during my move, I was interconnected with some folks and their loved ones. Yes, these folks welcomed me with open arms. Yes, they were kind and sweet to me when I felt lost and confused. Yes, they offered me a safe place to stay when things got too hard. But, there was one thing they did not do. I was not accepted for who I was.Yes, I was cared for, loved, appreciated, and needed. However, when it came to who I am, what I believe, and what my gifts are, I was treated like anything other than a saint. I was broken by it while I had religion, politics, fear, anger, and lies stuffed down my throat without being able to defend myself. I felt so powerless, I didn’t know what to do. I was heartbroken when I found that I’m no longer in contact with majority of these folks I was connected to. These people were my friends, my support system for so long, and even possibly family. 

         At the end of the day though, I realized that it was (and is) best to move on. There is a reason why boundaries exist. It breaks my heart knowing that some of the people I was closest too couldn’t do what I had hoped they could. I believe that there is no point for me to be around people who do not accept me for who I am and what I do. I don’t ask for anyone to understand me, or even attempt to. All I hope for is for the ones that mean the most to me are able to accept me for who I am. I DO NOT mean fitting in, what I mean is being able to be me around others without feeling like I’m walking on eggshells. If that is something that just will not happen, then so be it. Time to move on. I will not allow others to pull me down or make me feel drained, no matter how much they love or care about me. 

 

 

Behind the Scenes · Synchronicities

Seeds 4 Life Post: Be Brave. Take Risks. Nothing Can Substitute Experience by Paulo Coelho

Life is full of challenges. Some people find it relatively easy to get by whereas others tend to find the task more daunting. For the individuals who witness themselves fighting each day just to face their fears and obstacles, it can be difficult to imagine a life uninterrupted by suffering. There are common phrases…

via Be Brave. Take Risks. Nothing Can Substitute Experience – Paulo Coelho — The Seeds 4 Life

Alex Speak · Behind the Scenes · Randomness · Universal World

Long Time Coming- F*ck this Facade

Don’t put me in a cage;

Don’t fight me while I’m enraged.

Forget your politics and religion;

Its not my decision;

To become a part of your lies;

While the world around me aches, cries, and dies. 

I’m not your fucking puppet.

DID YOU HEAR ME? I say FUCK IT!

I won’t follow your orders;

Because I don’t live in your quarters.

You’re not me and I’m not you.

Why do I say this? Because it’s true!

This pointless facade is a waste of time!

Are you going to sit there and argue while ignoring the endless crime?

Thwart me, convince me, convert me? Forget it!

Sure, you gave it your best, I’ll admit it.

Are you having fun over there getting your high;

While children, families, and adolescents get bullied, feel fear, or give up and decide to die?

What about the families you impact, or does that really matter?

What about the world who begs for your help, but you can’t hear them under your chatter?

Can’t you see that this is all a game?

Oh you can’t? Well isn’t that a shame.

Don’t worry for those who try.

I’ll stand by you even if you bleed, limp, holler, or cry.

Despite all of the world’s bullshit;

I’ll still be here to do what I can, even if I can’t fix it.

I’m a being of love; unconditional love and light.

I will shine with all my might.

For people who hate, bully steal, or have the intention to fool;

Fuck you and your standards, you fucking tool!

 

Alex Speak · Artwork · Synchronicities · Universal World · World of Psyche

Transitions

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Transition- Sunset

               Hello! It has definitely been a little while since I have written and made artwork in a little while. I have another update, with which I will keep it crystal clear, brief, and to the point. The past few months has been extremely rough. Truth be told, this summer has been anything but a vacation. Lots of big and unexpected change caught me by surprise. Earlier this year I struggled with work, school, and life. The stress of my mom being ill, living in a toxic environment, and fighting demons inside of me took its toll. I was so bogged down by all of the weight on my shoulders, I didn’t know what to do. I neglected my own health and well being during this process which resulted in me getting sick quite often. With much contemplation and planning I ended up moving out so I could start to take myself properly. Within the process of moving, I had lost connections with a lot of people (which in the end was truly inevitable). It was traumatic and extremely heartbreaking to lose people that were a big part of my life for so long. Despite all of this pain and heartbreak, I knew deep down I needed to let go of my past and outdated ways of thinking and living. 

         Regardless of all this big change, it was time for me to let go and move on. Now I am starting a new chapter in my life and I am happy with where I am and what I’m doing. I continue to reflect on my life and the ones who have touched my soul. I am forever grateful for every single part of my life (even the yucky stuff too). By dropping all of this weight and negativity that dragged me down, I am finally able to welcome and open myself to abundance and new opportunities. With this, I am now coming out of my cocoon so I can spread my wings and fly. I can not wait for all of the wonderful people, places, and opportunities that are coming my way. 

I am forever grateful for every little bit of my life and journey. I can not wait to see what the future has in store for me.