Weekly Funnies- Pre-winter funnies

Funny-picture-of-winter-snowmen

Winter is indeed coming… are you all ready for it? Well if you are, great! If not, stow ahead! Would some funnies make the chill a little bit less harsh?

df08f0abfc82f1e0e4be6534d409701a-300x233

“Yeah, sure thing boss! I’ll be there in 23 years!”

Funny-winter-poem

*sniffle* That was the most beautiful winter poem I have ever heard in my life! *sniffle*

Funny-winter-cartoons1

What???? There’s no app for this???? Screw Apple and Android!

Funny-winter-quote-with-picture

Come on Jeeves!!! Chop chop!

Finniest-Snow-Memes-Ever16-300x300

It’s ‘shovellin’, not shufflin’. Gosh!

Funny-winter-in-Texas

A-freaking-dorable!!!!!

happiness-winter-is-coming-28559677

At the end of the day… a warm butt is all that matters. XD

May all of your hearts be warm like this cat’s butt. Stay warm, stay safe, stay positive.

cooltext233084778546006

Rusted Love and Oil

c656a93e0f4bb34bf88498a7533c5a9f--amber-heart-copper-color

Forgive me for my rust.

Forgive me for my aged trust.

Forgive me for my heart revolves around us.

Take me, for I am yours tonight.

Hot skin on skin, burning ecstasy building up from my core, building through, through, through… up from my sacred root, to my spine, creating and uncontrollable shiver… bursting through my crown. Release…

I feel you within me as I am within you. My aged trust, melted by the friction of endless love, lubricated from head to toe, even exchange of frequencies. Fluid as sweet as honey, endless like an eternal sea, melting the sting of ice and hate, created by winds of broken lust. Release…

Hardness into the endless silk, silk onto the soothing, soft density of a mass built by the song created from true love. Clenching of muscles, hot, and tingling, the thrill of enticement, let me into your secret chamber. The equal physical exchange of love spreading from our heads to our feet. Feverish desires met by movement, a secret tango, a gentle waltz, a spicy salsa, leading to a hot and frisky fox trot. Release…

Zest, like you have never seen before. Gentle, fast, slow, controlled… Supple sweetness, something I have never tasted before. We have become one. Addiction. I can’t get enough of you, I just want more. Don’t stop, never stop, never. Release…

Rust washed away into a brand new, shining, glistening sense of self.

Broken and aged, melded and formed into a new statue, a monument of trust.

A heart once coated with ice, melted away… I absorb the love from your sweet embrace. 

Take me, I’m yours tonight.

Take me, I’m yours forever.

I will always love you.

 

 

Dream Journal- Oceans, Ducks, Roads, and uneven Infrastructures

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

             When I entered a deep sleep I found myself upon a small dock which lead to the beach with pale colored sand and oddly translucent waters. Oddly enough, part of the ocean and area seemed to be squared off with glass on the left of me. To the left side of me I could see some distant white and terra-cotta buildings with some greenery. I went up to the water along the glass and found a familiar face. We’ll call him Greg. He was wading in the water and directed me to join him for a bit. The water was cool and relatively shallow. We stayed in the water together, and he spoke gently to me and was affectionate.

            Out of nowhere another girl, probably in her early teens, very childlike appeared with a yellow duck. Greg was annoyed at first because she was very noisy, but I didn’t mind it all that much. She never really came close to us, in fact we only saw her once before she ran off to a path that was lit up with tons of small hanging lights and small yellow ducks. Some of the ducks were real, and some of them were squishy toys. She ran off along this path which a appeared to be a small row of houses that was built partially on a pier and partially along the side of a hill. I followed her as to make sure she wasn’t going to get herself into trouble. She chased after the ducks and insisted that something good to was to be expected at the end of this path. Greg decided to stay behind and waited for us to come back. 

           All of a sudden we came across a few rolling hills which held part of a stone tower that was levitating off the ground. There were a couple of characters from A Nightmare Before Christmas standing on top and they asked us for our help. They needed people to build a foundation from the ground up to help reach the top of the tower. Tons of people were there with us. Men and women wearing business attire, and children wearing average clothing. The girl insisted that we stayed when I wanted to go, but I stayed for the hell of it, even though I knew it probably wouldn’t work.

              Time passes, and a wooden foundation was made and everybody was cramped together within this foundation. Piles upon piles of clutter were built to help reach the tower and it was nowhere close to reaching the top. Eventually I could hear others getting impatient and talking about how this has become a business disaster. I heard a few gentlemen complaining on how they were managers for a number of years and felt they deserved better. Slowly but surely, people started to leave. I yanked at the girl to come back with me, but she resisted me and had a pissy attitude. The duck that was with her was now a Dragonfly. Suddenly the young girl ran off towards the town on the pier and found that the ducks were replaced with TONS of Jack-o-lanterns. She started running around them and saw one that caused her to run off. 

           At first I panicked, then got angry, then just plain gave up. I finally reached back to Greg at the fenced off beach and he tried to convince me not to worry about it. At one point he became somewhat concerned, especially with the dragonfly buzzing about. We both started calling out for her and I run off. He follows not too long before me. Then I woke up. I thought that this was a pretty strange dream, and I have yet to really analyze it thoroughly. 

For those who are reading this; what do you think it means? Have you had any dreams similar to this one?

cooltext259688758949888

Weekly Funnies- Turkeys are People Too! (sort of)

Hey, hey, hey! Just because it’s Thanksgiving doesn’t mean that we should forget about the Turkeys. They have feelings too, don’t they? Don’t you think they deserve a chance? They’re people, right? ….. *crickets* Let’s see what these Turkeys have to say about Thanksgiving.

c96099b48c32a7bd658ef26c1deccec6--turkey-meme-funny-turkey

“We all have distinct personalities! Unlike ducks… hmph.”

d17f42fda5355ee824e994a70db87fc4--thanksgiving-humor-vegetarian-thanksgiving

Me: Hey hey hey! Don’t leave the Vegans out! I’m vegan… love me!

5c884a638375973d453c7174bf1f7ab5--turkey-jokes-turkey-cartoon

Oh snap! You can’t expect someone to end Halloween ‘cold Turkey’. XD

e6d42027bd13673dab84f0529dafd8bb

Add in some paint and extra stilts and you’re good to go this Thanksgiving! They’ll never know the truth… *wink wink*

horrormovieturkey

Ohmygodholyshitthisisthescariesthorrormovieihaveeverseen….

somethings-up

Death is imminent when you unfriend the Turkey… you’ve been warned.

Just-Think-If-The-Indians-Had-Given-The-Pilgrims-A-Donkey-Instead-Of-A-Turkey-Wed-All-Be-Having-A-Pieace-Of-Ass-This-Thanksgiving-Funny-Picture

If I have to choose between having a piece of ass or piece of turkey, I’d rather go for the Turkey… sorry Turkey.

211483-Funny-Thanksgiving-Joke

Oh hell to the no!!! Thanksgiving is cancelled forever! I’m outtie.


1bc8d2acb29477bd4dc4a61423b6abb7

I hope that you have enjoyed the Turkey and Thanksgiving funnies. Always give thanks and enjoy the laughs and smiles with people you care about the most. Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

cooltext259688758949888

Weekly Funnies- What? MORE Corny Jokes?

Here we go again folks! And you thought there couldn’t be anymore corny jokes… Haha! Bring on the funnies. I mean, bring on the really corny funnies!  3… 2… 1… GO!

were-herefor-whoop-on-aat-this-totally-rooting-for-you-19541176

This is far too cute not to like.

CYnN-yxWwAUSt26

It’s Halloween everyday y’all!

puns-arseniic-52__880

The best kind of potato in this universe.

puns-galore__880

Awwww… hey, look on the bright side! At least the cow doesn’t need to lean down to eat.

tdfigwk

Hey, it’s not everyday that you get to see an ice cream cone pretend to be a walrus!

75298

Oh my word…

cfb2e3fe4a59cdc0221dd34c7791c903--corny-food-jokes-cheesy-jokes

Hahaha, I see what you did there!

1-salt

A god, this is gonna get ugly…

evil-chicken.jpg

Noooo!!! No!!! Anything, anything but the Deviled Eggs! >.<


Alright guys, I hope you enjoyed these funnies, corny or not. Much love and light to you.

cooltext259688758949888

Weekly Funnies- More slightly inappropriate humor

tell-her-toxicj-funny-adult-humor-i-am-nother-cat-19463849

Viewer discretion is advised! You want more slightly inappropriate humor, you got it! Lets dig in.

9b7810c92a74ca6b605775e02fa41538--bedroom-doors-hilarious-stuff

Alright, this nonsense needs to stop right now! Period!

Humourrrrrrrr18.11.2015

Jesus christ Suzie! This thing is a fucking death trap! I’ll never use my computer again.

*cough* that’s the point *cough*

f60e8734f0b4455c364a8825a4a5dfe0--wtf-funny-funny-humor

Get it, ‘sticking up’ for me?? Hahaha….

 30-top-inappropriate-humor-quotes-dirty-humor

Uhhh no thanks… I’m turning around.

81410001

I feel you mushroom, I feel you… *snickers*

forgetfulness

Welp… oops…

I hope that you enjoyed the ‘slightly’ inappropriate funnies. XD

cooltext259688758949888

Dead Silence

large

I sing and sing and sing the dreaded song.

Infinitely singing sweetly the song of silence.

Rapidly spreading the sound of sweet misery and dread.

‘Tis music to the ears for some.

‘Tis sweet nothingness for mine.

I feel the sweet dread pulsing through my veins as each note leaves my lips.

Endless euphoric ecstasy ignited by the dread fills my brain with empty love. 

Death and dread are best friends.

I am the source of music to which they dance to with delight. 

I quiver at the mere thought of it.

I am the creator of silence, the creator of nothing; a delusion that doesn’t even exist.

cooltext249072193481591